This Story Would Be Better If I Could Provide Audio

(And also? This will be one of the many entries my child will request I delete once she gets old enough to be embarrassed by such things.)

NikkiZ always seems to need to go potty when we’re in the weird public places we (a) Never go to and therefore don’t know where the bathrooms are or (b) Would rather not use the bathrooms at due to possibility of contamination. She’s potty-trained enough now to hold it for short periods of time, but this weekend? It wasn’t an option. We were at the civic center downtown to get tickets and we had walked there about 4 blocks from the van. So, asking her to hold it? Not really an option.

I hunted down a bathroom that had only three stalls, leaving only the handicap one open. I don’t like using the handicap bathroom if I can avoid it, but this was an emergency. I put NikkiZ on the toilet and she immediately started grunting (Me: Great.) and said, while grunting, “Mom. Go out there and wait.” Pointing to the door of the stall.

I informed her that I did not want to leave her in the stall by herself, she would just have to tolerate me being in there with her. So, while continuing to grrrrrunt she said, “Okay. Then…stand up all the way against the wall.”

Essentially? She was banishing me to the far end of the stall so she could have the privacy she needed while she pooped. And hearing a 3-year old try to order such a thing while pooping? Is quite funny. As the lady in the stall next to us indicated by laughing out loud.

Hearing the disembodied voice laughing from the stall next to us? Caught NikkiZ off guard. I don’t know if she’s ever really considered how easy it is to hear through the stalls. She said – still while grunting – “What’s that voice? What’s that laughing?” This, of course, cracked me up as I started just finding the whole situation hysterical. NikkiZ then started laughing – still while grunting – because she is physically unable to hear laughter and not respond in the same way. Even if she has no idea what’s funny. If you’re laughing? She will too, while trying her best to figure out what is so funny.

When she was done with the laughing and the pooping she said, “Heh. I’m funny, Mom. And lots of times pooping is funny too.”

Yes. Yes it is.

28 thoughts on “This Story Would Be Better If I Could Provide Audio”

  1. OH man, that was AWESOME! Thanks for sharing.

    I usually hog up the handicrapper if I have to take the boy potty when we’re out shopping. It’s easier to help him with pants, and getting him on/off the pot. We get in and out of there super fast though. I’d probably die of embarrassment on the spot if someone came in and needed the big stall.

  2. Oh boy, yep, that’s some funny stuff, and you’re probably right that she’ll probably insist this post be deleted at some point. I bet my internal audio was *almost* as good as the real thing. I couldn’t help but giggle.

  3. I love me a funny pooping story, esp. since Noah’s poops are currently… less than pleasant, what with the solids. Ugh.
    This gives me hope… one day, poop will be funny again, and life will once again be worthwhile. :)

  4. That’s a hoot! What is it about the nastiest public restroom that attracts potty training toddlers? My daughter won’t “go” at home, but the second we step foot into a strange building she’s ready to give it a try!

  5. This reminded me of a book, “Oh the places you will go!” I think you must have forgotten because we’ve been to bathrooms everywhere.

    I’ve been to the bathroom at Old Navy (not bad but they had this weird light thing and the light went off and we couldn’t get it back on), every grocery store we’ve ever been to (that’ll make you not want to eat ever again), every mall we’ve ever been in in every state we’ve visited, every Target. Pretty much everywhere we go someone has to go potty.

    One of my proudest moments was the first time my daughter flushed with her foot! Wahoo! I’d finally taught her something useful.

  6. Pooping is (almost) always funny. My son is going through a modesty phase in the bathroom too, although I have to wait right outside the door.

  7. My brother used to sing on the toilet – especially at Grandma’s house!

    Me and my cousin used to sit in front of the toilet door (which opened outwards onto the hallway) and sing along with him but then when he’d finished he wouldn’t be able to get out of the bathroom!

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