The Dreaded Baby-Weight Entry

All of us who have had babies have discussed Baby Weight at least once after having our babies. And probably, we thought about it more than once. Some women are lucky and they gain little and it comes off easy. (And those women are BEYATCHES, right?) Then there are people like me:

1) I gained 68lbs with LilZ – took several years to lose it all.
2) I gained 60lbs with NikkiZ – still hadn’t lost the last bit 2 years later when I got pregnant with AndyZ.
3) I gained 50lbs with AndyZ. As of today, I weight 2 pounds less than I did the day I came home from the hospital. Meaning I have lost 2lbs in 9 months.

Considering I hadn’t finished losing the weight pre-AndyZ in the first place, I choose to use my pre-NikkiZ weight as my target. So, I am currently 43lbs away from that goal. I have been struggling to lose the weight quietly, away from my blog. I’ve gained and lost the same 10lbs over the last few months. Obviously? My quiet way isn’t working. It’s time for some accountability.

Now, I know my weight battle is not as extreme as some. My need to drop 43lbs would make some people want to punch me in the face. But, I just know that there was a time when I was lighter and healthier. It’s not just about the weight – it’s about the general lifestyle I’m living now. The frenzied eat fast and crash early lifestyle that makes me feel really disappointed in my body. It is not just the extra pounds, its that I no longer feel that pride in myself that I felt at healthier points in my life. I mean – there’s a huge difference in these two bodies physically and mentally.

fit_unfit

I just felt good the day of that race. It wasn’t just about weight because I was a few pounds shy of my goal on that day. It was about respecting my body. Taking care of it with diet AND excercise. That other body? That body gets abused. It doesn’t get enough sleep, it drinks lots of caffeine, it eats lots of junk to cope with stress and it never ever gets any excercise. EVER.

(Sidenote: While looking through all of my race photos I found this one taken about 2.5 years ago. Look! I’m totally taller than LilZ!)

Anyway…I want that other body back. I want to feel like I’m taking care of myself because you know what? I deserve to take care of myself. I deserve that pride. I work too hard at my job and for my family to put myself last on my priority list. This is about weight – for sure – but also so much more than that. This is about finally saying, “I want to treat myself at least as good as I treat everyone else, maybe even better.” Why does everyone, even the cashiers at the grocery store, get more respect from me than I do from myself? That’s completely ridiculous.

So, I’m taking the initiative today. Today? I start to put myself on the priority list. I’ll vow to start finding time to excercise because someone else can do the laundry. I’ll make a point to buy healthy foods that I like, even if no one else in the house does. I’ll take time to reflect, maybe even start meditating, because right now I cope with anxiety by eating and that’s just not working for me. I’ll demand that my family allow me to do all of these things because you know what? It will benefit them in the long run. They can attest that Anxiety Zoot? Not that fun to live with. Add Unhappy With Her Body Zoot and Super Tired Zoot in the mix and you’ll find my family is looking into a vacation home. Fr away from me.

This will be largely about losing the weight. But it will also be about finding a way to take as good of care of myself as I do my family. Finding a way to put Me Time in the schedule, even if it means that I have to ask someone else to do the laundry for a change. Or vacuum. Or grocery shop.

My basic concrete goals are this:

1) Lose those 43lbs.
2) Run a half-marathon this fall/winter.

I’ll have several other mini-goals along the way, but those are my two biggies. I found out the hard way that training for a marathon with small children and a full-time job is close to impossible. At least in my life. I mean, I did it, but not well. Not the right way. So, I’m sticking with the half-marathon which is a much more attainable goal.

I have several more vague goals I’d like to strive for along the way. I want to shake up the diet and learn to eat and cook healthy foods that I haven’t already cooked 9-million times. I want to find some sort of relaxation/meditation regiment that will possibly allow me binge-eating to cope with anxiety. I want to not wear a t-shirt and shorts over my bathing suit when we go to the beach this summer. I want to be able to wear my wedding band again without getting it re-sized.

I’ll be documenting my journey at the Balanced Living website. My page is here and will hopefully show my introductory article soon. If you want to join me, I’d love to have you. There’s a great community over there full of inspirational stories and support. They’re even holding a contest through the end of the month where they’ll give the winner $5,000 to achieve their healthy living goal. $5,000 would pay for my gym membership AND periodic days at the spa! I’d love to have you over there.

For now? It’s all about the baby steps. Like joining the YMCA. I’m going to do that this week and maybe excercise for the first time in months. Be prepared for the Holy Shit, My Body Hurts entry that will follow. I’m sure it will be a good one.

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33 Responses

  1. Sara says:

    Good Luck, Zoot!! I know you can do it! I was always SOOO impressed reading about your marathon. If it makes you feel any better, I gained 45-50 pounds with my son. He turns 4 in one month and while I’ve been at my pre-preggo weight for about a year, I still couldn’t fit into any pre-preggo clothes…until about 3 weeks ago. And as of today, my favorite pre-pregnancy pants are officially too big.

    Anyhow, I’ll be cheering you on from Washington!

  2. Katherine says:

    Good luck! Not only will you be happier and feel more in control, your family will be happier. “They” say that doing the best thing for your kids is to put your marriage first, well the same rings true for putting yourself first sometimes. When you take care of yourself, everyone is taken care of. You can totally reach your goal no problem!!

    You must put your half marathon training plan online. There is a half marathon that I have my sights on and I would love the tips, goals and ideas!

  3. Cate says:

    Yay, Zoot! Way to take charge of yourself. I’m 9 weeks away from delivery of my second and plan is to get my butt in gear ASAP post birth. I’ll be eagerly following along with your self-improvement journey as I prepare to launch my own.

  4. Monica says:

    Don’t feel too bad. I weigh 5 lbs less than the day I came home from the hospital and my kid is 26 months old.

    Actually I just lost 30 lbs, what I call “toddler weight” so now it’s onto the baby weight.

    Good luck to you! I wish I was a runner. Instead I am a sitter. And an eater.

  5. Heather says:

    Good for you, Kim! I really admire the way you’re approaching this. Perhaps I can borrow a little inspiration.

  6. It’s so cool you’re going to blog about it, too!
    Cooincidentally, I just signed up for Weight Watchers b/c my strategies for losing the baby weight have stalled me as well.

  7. Oh, also? You don’t look 43 pounds heavier in the second photo AT ALL. You carry it well, lady.

  8. NG says:

    I feel ya, my sistah. I am less 5 pounds under what I weighed at my top pregnancy weight and my daughter is almost a year and a half. I’m preferring to call it “toddler weight” as Monica suggests.

  9. Sarah Lena says:

    OOOH! Will you work out with me?! I am ALL THE TIME trying to get a workout buddy (also at the Y), but no one will go with me. And? I will only make myself a priority if it means keeping my promise to someone else.

    (I am sick and twisted. Truly.)

  10. Vicki says:

    I am proud of you!! It is funny that you write this today. I told my husband yesterday that I was insisting on having 45 minutes a day to myself to exercise. Do you think I can blame my overweight on my 3 year old?? He is adopted but it was the stress eating over waiting for the adoption to go thru that got me here!!
    ;0 (not really-it was the mexican food and M&M’s) I exercised last night and my kids did everything in their power to interupt and annoy me but I pushed through and finished and will keep insisting on my time and you should too! You are worth it!! Go girl!!

  11. April says:

    Good luck! And congrats on making yourself a priority! so tough sometimes.

    I love mini marathons! They are so much easier to work into a busy life than marathon training… 5 miles on a weeknight I can do. 10 miles on a weeknight…. never gonna happen for me! Do you know which mini you’re going to do? I did the Vegas one this year and it was really cool. Plus afterward I got to hit up the sportsbook and watch football.

    For what it’s worth, after meeting you, I would NOT think you could stand to lose 43 lbs. Or that you were overweight AT ALL, for that matter. But I know what it means to want to be stronger and feel better for yourself instead of for a number on the scale… and that is what is most important.

    I keep meaning to start the workouts in this book I have called The New Rules of Lifting for Women, let me know if you are interested in strength training and want me to send you the workouts… they look awesome. Hubs is a huge fitness buff and keeps bugging me to pay attention to what the book says.

  12. Stephanie says:

    Good luck! I’m hoping to train for a half-marathon this fall too… keep us posted on when you choose a race and your training plan!

  13. stacey says:

    Good luck. I don’t have the baby weight, I have the “I moved to New Orleans” weight. I have my plan of action, starting next week. yes next week. I don’t think it is realistically possible right now to start anything as it is Mardi Gras craziness. Between the parades and work and everything else, when I do get to eat it is fast. If I eat. Last night? Kinda didn’t. Next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday becomes my cleanse. I am going to start working out and eating a whole lot better, my small goal is to lose about 10 lbs before the music festival season kicks in Mid-April. From there we will see where it goes…..so I am right there with you . Realistically I need to lose probably close to 80 lbs. Should be a snap right? ; )

  14. Tracy says:

    GOOD LUCK! Il’l join you in about 4 months…I’m 6+ mos pregnant with number 2 and want to get back to pre-baby #1 weight this time around (which i never did after the first). It’s definitely an attainable and admirable goal and I look forward to reading about your progress. Let us know what’s working!

  15. Catharina says:

    Kind of delurking to cheer you on! I am not an expert, but it sounds like you are going about this the exact right way: making yourself a priority and creating healthy habits. Good luck!!

  16. Marieka says:

    Hi Zoot, I’m delurking to wish you the best of luck in getting to your goal weight. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, but I’ve never commented. I almost did when you posted about Cisco, and I wished that I had, because I totally got how you felt. Anyway, I’m a fan of your blog because you are so honest and funny (and too self-deprecating, IMO!). So, best of luck, and I’ll be checking out your posts over at Balanced Living and cheering you on.

  17. Darcey says:

    Kudos to you, girl! While I don’t have any baby-weight to lose (no kids here), I am striving to lose the weight I gained after my skiing accident and several months of steroid therapy (which is apparently as hard to lose as baby weight… stubborn as hell!).

    And I would also love to see your half marathon plan – I’m taking some time off from running for physical therapy and focusing on other things like cycling, but I’m looking at the Thanksgiving Half Marathon here in Atlanta as my goal – it’ll be a great way to ring in my birthday!

  18. Beverly says:

    Yeah Zoot! I am so excited for you! I followed your marathon training and loved it and am selfishly looking forward to this new challenge. I started working out regularly (again) but harder than I ever have about 6 weeks ago. You know this but I have to say that in just such a short time I am so much more powerful and want to just get better. It happens quickly. If you just do it for 2 weeks you will get to a place where it is easier.

    My pledge to you:
    I do not run at all right now and have more weight to lose than you. I am going to run a 1/2 marathon in the fall too. I want to do this at the same time as you. Do you have a marathon date?

    You’re an inspiration, you can do this! And so can I!

  19. Amy says:

    I was looking for new recipes and researched a lot of different magazines to see which one I thought had the healthiest recipes and finally settled on Eating Well. You can subscribe and get issues every other month but they also have TONS of recipes online http://www.eatingwell.com. It’s at least a place to look for some new recipes. I too am working towards losing some weight BEFORE I have a baby so that I don’t start out behind!

  20. I know what you mean about wanting your old body back. I refuse to identify with this one I have now. Somehow I bounced back easily after baby #1, but now, also nine months after baby #2, I’m in the same spot as you. I’ve lost, uh, like one pound since my 6 week postpartum checkup. Number of days I’ve run in the last nine months? One.

    I still don’t feel ready to do anything about it, though, being generally overwhelmed by life as I am. I applaud you for being ready to make the effort! I hope that watching your progress will be the kick in the butt I need to make a similar lifestyle change. Your goals are concrete and should be awesome motivation. Go get ‘em!

    (What April said about strength training? Yes! Lifting weights is a great way to put some oomph in your training. When I did mountain bike racing back pre-kids, adding weight lifting to my cardio workouts made an amazing difference overall. I can’t recommend it enough.)

  21. Amy says:

    I’m right there with ya . . . I actually signed up for Weight Watchers last night, and like you, have some large and small goals along the way. I am aiming to lose 35 pounds and then once I hit that would really like to work down another 5. Good for you – and me!

  22. Maria says:

    You know we will cheer you on! Go Zoot!

  23. SupaCoo says:

    Good luck, and I’m with you. I haven’t stepped on a scale in a long time, so it’s not about numbers, I just know I’m NOT happy. You’ve lit a fire under my butt, too!

  24. Sarah says:

    I am so happy for you I could cry! I think it is so amazing you are doing this, especially in terms of totally understanding that you deserve to do this for you–that you don’t have to sacrifice yourself all the time. I think that is huge and difficult and you are really brave to buck your own patterns that way. Yay, you! :)

  25. Fraulein N says:

    Good luck! I know you can do it.

  26. WonderSpot says:

    I don’t have any baby weight, per se (not having any babies), but I”m in the same boat of trying to be active again. I actually just agreed to run a half marathon (my first race ever since, like, junior high) at Disneyland this autumn. If you’re up for a trip, the race takes place AT the park. Too cool.

    Good luck, the first steps are always the hardest, but you obviously have lots of support.

  27. lisa-marie says:

    Woo! Go Zoot! I’ll be following your progress!

  28. Kim says:

    AMEN Sister!!!

    Why is it that we mom’s get into that rut of giving everything of ourselves to everyone else and not doing a darn thing for us?

    It is much more about weight. Thanks for reminding us all of that. And for reminding us all that we are just as important as all of those people we take care of and it’s about time we started taking care of ourselves too!!!

  29. Shawna says:

    Funny, I’ve made the observation before – and even blogged about it (http://talpidae.diaryland.com/080707_42.html) – that women who are post-partum almost all seem to eventually reach a point where they have to put themselves back on their priority list, and that’s when they start to get active again and lose weight if that’s one of their goals. I guess this (around 9 months now?) is that point for you and that is totally awesome! I’ve known some women to take years.

    Love,

    Beyatch
    (I just went below my pre-pregnancy weight last week)

  30. Shannon Briese Aissen says:

    Yea, Kim! Good for you. I think that the 1/2 is a perfect goal. It’s enough to take off the weight without having to run 16 miles and then come home and parent. Good luck…

  31. I wish accountability worked for me. Apparently, I have no shame.

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