Comments on: Permanent http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/ misszoot.com - the mundane life of a horribly geeky mother of 3 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 06:38:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Christy http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-736554 Christy Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:30:22 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-736554 As I started reading this post, I thought wow, that's another thing we have in common. We share a love of Joss Whedon (you're the one who clued me in to Dr. Horrible - which no one else I know cared for) and Bones. And I've been doing the whole imagination thing to get to sleep or to take my mind off of problems since I was small too. Like you, it almost always works except when dealing with a major live crisis. I'm sorry you're having trouble dealing with your dad being gone - time will help but getting to the point of peace is hard. God bless you & help you with this now. As I started reading this post, I thought wow, that’s another thing we have in common. We share a love of Joss Whedon (you’re the one who clued me in to Dr. Horrible – which no one else I know cared for) and Bones. And I’ve been doing the whole imagination thing to get to sleep or to take my mind off of problems since I was small too. Like you, it almost always works except when dealing with a major live crisis. I’m sorry you’re having trouble dealing with your dad being gone – time will help but getting to the point of peace is hard. God bless you & help you with this now.

]]> By: Heather http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-731639 Heather Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:35:59 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-731639 I'm so sorry Kim. This was very well written and expressed, and gave such insight into how you're hurting...thank you for being so brave to share! I’m so sorry Kim. This was very well written and expressed, and gave such insight into how you’re hurting…thank you for being so brave to share!

]]> By: Maxine Dangerous http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730861 Maxine Dangerous Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:53:48 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730861 Maybe you could turn your talent for writing and your imagination and memories into letters you write to your dad? Something along the lines of "If you were here right now, we'd be _____________." Or tell him about your day. Tell him about a trait of his that you p.icked up -- a talent for fixing something or a way of parenting that you realize was a fixture in your childhood. Save the letters you write in a shoebox or file or mail them, under his name, to a friend who will keep them for you or read them, if that is what you choose. I also find that OTC melatonin is great for helping me sleep. I got a bottle for not much money (no more than $10, if memory serves) at a local drugstore. It's natural, boosts what your body already produces, sleep comes on naturally instead of with the sledgehammer effect that I've experienced with various nighttime aids, and it doesn't leave you with a sleeping pill hangover. Good luck, Zoot. We're all here for you. :) Maybe you could turn your talent for writing and your imagination and memories into letters you write to your dad? Something along the lines of “If you were here right now, we’d be _____________.” Or tell him about your day. Tell him about a trait of his that you p.icked up — a talent for fixing something or a way of parenting that you realize was a fixture in your childhood. Save the letters you write in a shoebox or file or mail them, under his name, to a friend who will keep them for you or read them, if that is what you choose.

I also find that OTC melatonin is great for helping me sleep. I got a bottle for not much money (no more than $10, if memory serves) at a local drugstore. It’s natural, boosts what your body already produces, sleep comes on naturally instead of with the sledgehammer effect that I’ve experienced with various nighttime aids, and it doesn’t leave you with a sleeping pill hangover.

Good luck, Zoot. We’re all here for you. :)

]]> By: Tori http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730856 Tori Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:35:53 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730856 I totally know what you are going thru. Last week was the two year anniversary of my dad's death and I can remember feeling exactly the same way you described for months after the funeral. My inclination to just lay in bed in the mornings has never been a problem until his death. During the day it's not so bad. There are plenty of distractions. When I'm driving by myself or at night is when it hits me. One thing that I've come to love though is dreams, the realistic ones, where I'm helping him with household projects, and it's like he never left. I wake up so happy to have had that dream. It sometimes feels like he really is wrapping his arms around me. My thoughts are with you! I totally know what you are going thru. Last week was the two year anniversary of my dad’s death and I can remember feeling exactly the same way you described for months after the funeral. My inclination to just lay in bed in the mornings has never been a problem until his death. During the day it’s not so bad. There are plenty of distractions. When I’m driving by myself or at night is when it hits me. One thing that I’ve come to love though is dreams, the realistic ones, where I’m helping him with household projects, and it’s like he never left. I wake up so happy to have had that dream. It sometimes feels like he really is wrapping his arms around me. My thoughts are with you!

]]> By: lynne http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730848 lynne Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:20:25 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730848 It will heal in time I promise you. In the months following my Dad's death I couldn't sleep either, reliving horrifyingly stressful scenes back in my head over and over. In some ways I likened it to Post-traumatic Stress syndrome, but I'm not a Dr nor have I fought in a war. It helped when I got my cat Willow. She was a tiny kitten and when I woke up frightened she would always wake up too and crawl on my chest and purr this huge double purr, like a steam train. It used to relax me, my chest would loosen and I could breathe and eventually fall asleep again. Strange isn't it we starve ourselves of what need most, sleep to help us heal and get through the next day. It will heal in time I promise you. In the months following my Dad’s death I couldn’t sleep either, reliving horrifyingly stressful scenes back in my head over and over. In some ways I likened it to Post-traumatic Stress syndrome, but I’m not a Dr nor have I fought in a war. It helped when I got my cat Willow. She was a tiny kitten and when I woke up frightened she would always wake up too and crawl on my chest and purr this huge double purr, like a steam train. It used to relax me, my chest would loosen and I could breathe and eventually fall asleep again. Strange isn’t it we starve ourselves of what need most, sleep to help us heal and get through the next day.

]]> By: Must Be Motherhood http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730838 Must Be Motherhood Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:53:32 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730838 I've had similiar problems in the last few years--although I haven't lost a close relative recently, other unhappiness rears its head when I'm trying to fall asleep and thoughts of death and loneliness practically give me panic attacks/cause insomnia. I haven't used drugs yet, but have had a little luck with other imaginiative games that help distract me. I think since you've used imaginative distraction in the past to quiet your mind, you might find success doing the same here. Experiment with not thinking about your dad--it will make you sad, and who can fall asleep sad? I've played games where I imagine every house/apartment I've lived in and try to recreate in my head the bedrooms I've fallen asleep in, down to the pictures on the wall and the smell of the sheets/sounds outside the windows. You could also find some shivasana meditation recordings that walk you through quieting your mind. These ideas may be useless to you---but maybe they'll help? So sorry, Zoot. I’ve had similiar problems in the last few years–although I haven’t lost a close relative recently, other unhappiness rears its head when I’m trying to fall asleep and thoughts of death and loneliness practically give me panic attacks/cause insomnia.

I haven’t used drugs yet, but have had a little luck with other imaginiative games that help distract me. I think since you’ve used imaginative distraction in the past to quiet your mind, you might find success doing the same here. Experiment with not thinking about your dad–it will make you sad, and who can fall asleep sad? I’ve played games where I imagine every house/apartment I’ve lived in and try to recreate in my head the bedrooms I’ve fallen asleep in, down to the pictures on the wall and the smell of the sheets/sounds outside the windows.

You could also find some shivasana meditation recordings that walk you through quieting your mind.

These ideas may be useless to you—but maybe they’ll help?

So sorry, Zoot.

]]> By: Susan http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730832 Susan Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:51:17 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730832 Your experiences with grief sound a lot like mine after my dad died suddenly 9 years ago. Unfortunately, I developed some pretty bad sleep habits because of my insomnia. I began watching late night talk shows in bed, and became dependent on the noise to fall asleep. Now, I listen to podcasts to get the same effect. I did have luck with prescription sleep medicines, but that was in combination with seeing a therapist and taking a mild antidepressant, too (all of which I no longer need to do). Those measures were something I chose to take after a year of out of whack emotions. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know it's not unusual to experience sad feelings at night when you are physically and mentally exhausted. And, I hope this is only a temporary problem for you. It's not a bad thing to take the OTC sleep aids, but I don't recommend abusing The Tonight Show ; ) Your experiences with grief sound a lot like mine after my dad died suddenly 9 years ago. Unfortunately, I developed some pretty bad sleep habits because of my insomnia. I began watching late night talk shows in bed, and became dependent on the noise to fall asleep. Now, I listen to podcasts to get the same effect.

I did have luck with prescription sleep medicines, but that was in combination with seeing a therapist and taking a mild antidepressant, too (all of which I no longer need to do). Those measures were something I chose to take after a year of out of whack emotions.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know it’s not unusual to experience sad feelings at night when you are physically and mentally exhausted. And, I hope this is only a temporary problem for you. It’s not a bad thing to take the OTC sleep aids, but I don’t recommend abusing The Tonight Show ; )

]]> By: Jenera http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730827 Jenera Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:42:42 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730827 I'm sure that you've heard this a million times but your grief is normal and will some day pass. I have a hard time with sleep because my brain doesn't shut off-for different reasons-but I think meditation is great and counting your breaths. I discovered this about a week ago and it's done wonders for me. ::hugs:: I’m sure that you’ve heard this a million times but your grief is normal and will some day pass. I have a hard time with sleep because my brain doesn’t shut off-for different reasons-but I think meditation is great and counting your breaths. I discovered this about a week ago and it’s done wonders for me.

::hugs::

]]> By: Randi http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730808 Randi Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:02:31 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730808 I was the same way for quite awhile after my gram died. She was like a mother to me. One thing I've found that helps is to calm your brain by focusing on each part of your body. Start with your toes - make sure your toes are relaxed. Your feet next, and then your ankles, going to your calf, and then your knee, ect. Slowly make sure that each part of your body is relaxed, including your shoulders, your neck, your face. Usually by the time you get to your face your mind will have relaxed and calmed and you will be able to sleep. I was the same way for quite awhile after my gram died. She was like a mother to me. One thing I’ve found that helps is to calm your brain by focusing on each part of your body. Start with your toes – make sure your toes are relaxed. Your feet next, and then your ankles, going to your calf, and then your knee, ect. Slowly make sure that each part of your body is relaxed, including your shoulders, your neck, your face.

Usually by the time you get to your face your mind will have relaxed and calmed and you will be able to sleep.

]]> By: ladybughugs http://www.misszoot.com/2009/07/01/permanent/#comment-730804 ladybughugs Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:58:15 +0000 http://www.misszoot.com/?p=5081#comment-730804 I swear by Hyland's Calms Forte (they make one for kids, too). My Target pharmacist special-orders it and it's also available at health food stores and drugstore.com. http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=33135&catid=1192 My pediatrician also approved it. It's non-habit-forming, 100% natural, homeopathic, no side effects, wake up rested, not groggy... The kids version is a quick-dissolve tablet. I wouldn't travel without them again. Great when travel interferes with regular nap time and kids are wound up and excited. Just helps them settle without adverse effects of heavy drugs. I take two if I'm having trouble sleeping (I have a lot of trouble getting my brain to shut down at night), then two more 20 minutes later if I'm not asleep (that's happened once, I think, usually the first dose works). Hope this helps! I swear by Hyland’s Calms Forte (they make one for kids, too). My Target pharmacist special-orders it and it’s also available at health food stores and drugstore.com. http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=33135&catid=1192
My pediatrician also approved it.

It’s non-habit-forming, 100% natural, homeopathic, no side effects, wake up rested, not groggy…

The kids version is a quick-dissolve tablet. I wouldn’t travel without them again. Great when travel interferes with regular nap time and kids are wound up and excited. Just helps them settle without adverse effects of heavy drugs.

I take two if I’m having trouble sleeping (I have a lot of trouble getting my brain to shut down at night), then two more 20 minutes later if I’m not asleep (that’s happened once, I think, usually the first dose works).

Hope this helps!

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