First thing first: I’m buying leggings! And maybe a full-length mirror so I can show them to you and see what the final verdict is…
Speaking of appearances, many of you on Twitter got to enjoy my realization this weekend that the hotel we were staying at was home to the Ms. Victory pageant. Or some such event. We thought something was up when we got in Friday night and several doors on our hall were decorated with “Good Luck!” type messages accompanied by Glamour Shots style headshots of small girls.
(Does Glamour Shots still exist? I remember really wanting that done when I was in high school. Maybe I’m glad I didn’t? Because I’m certain those photos would have ended up in some embarrassing blog entry by now.)
I didn’t think much about it until NikkiZ and I went to breakfast the next morning. Several women asked her if she was going to be in the pageant that day. Since she didn’t know the word “pageant” she just let me field the questions. I tried not to laugh each time as I said, “Um, no.” The laughter wasn’t regarding pageant girls in general, the laughter was regarding the fact that my daughter had tripped no less than three times walking down the hall from our room to the elevator that morning. Princess Grace would be nothing short of a mess in a pageant.
Now, I try not to ever judge parents who do things differently than I do. As long as they do things out of love, I try to keep my mouth shut. No matter how much I just don’t understand what they’re doing. So, I kept my mouth shut a lot that morning as I saw girls younger than NikkiZ wearing makeup and hairspray. I found myself so concerned with the idea that some of the hotel staff might have thought we were there with the pageant, that I made sure to be down in the lobby NOT in pageant attire, about the time the event was starting. Of course, that meant a certain 3-year old got to see all of the girls in their pretty dresses while we were swimming in the pool. And of course, by the time the morning was over? She was all about the pageant. I told her we wear dresses like that for play and Halloween, but we don’t do pageants.
The people I felt the most sorry for? Were the brothers. Every girl seemed to have a brother with her. He was typically the one with some sort of portable game system in his hands. When he was NOT being forced to do such manly tasks as: Carry hot-pink polka dot cosmetic bags. Or dress bags. Or shoes. The best was the boy – probably 10 or 11 – that was actually carrying the back of his sister’s dress which had a small train on it. I don’t know that boy from Adam but I can tell you that at that moment, if the look of hatred in his eyes was any indication, he wanted nothing more that to be punched in the face. Anything to get him away from the glitter and the gowns.
All in all it was a learning experience. Did you know those things have bathing suit competitions? I saw dolled up girls 5 and under wearing two-pieces with contestant numbers pinned at the hip. SERIOUSLY. I tried to convince myself that those were NOT bathing suits. Maybe leotards? Surely small girls would never be asked to parade on stage in bikinis for an audience. Right? But the teenagers with me? Were all, “Kim? They’re bathing suits. No one does a talent in a bikini.” *sigh*
Not my world. I’ll try not to judge because all of the parents seemed proud (albeit mildly insane) and loving. Those girls are still in better care than the thousands we have in foster care here, right? So – no judgement on my part.
Just extreme efforts to have NikkiZ swimming in the pool when the whole thing started. I wanted there to be no doubt that we were NOT there for the pageant. You know…because I could totally be mistaken for a pageant Mom, for sure. I just have that look about me…
This is her talent. She rides a mean carousel.
NikkiZ’s talent looks more fun to me.
Also, she has lots of pretty dresses and shoes at home. Would doing a fashion show for you rid her of her interest?
Yes! A mini-pageant with her friends. You can make fun competitions, like best glue-r, and fastest sand digger.
I admire you for not judging because I really want to. Bathing suit competitions? I’m trying to restrain my fingers from typing what I really think about that.
I’m a big proponent of we’re-all-in-this-together, I’m-OK-You’re-OK parenting, and you have always been awesomely non-judgmental, something I really admire about you. But in my opinion, there is some shit that is just objectively WRONG, and enthusiastically submitting one’s tiny innocent daughter to the fricking patriarchal gaze ranks pretty high on the list. GAG GAG GAGGITY GAG. That is INSANE. I wish they would spend the time, money, and effort teaching them skills or crafts or a musical instrument or something.
ANYHOO…I’m glad you had fun on your staycation! We went to see HP at the Monaco on Sat. night and I was looking for you guys. Did you happen to check out the new place called Station 2? We couldn’t figure out if it was a bar or a Dave & Buster’s type place, so we chickened out and didn’t go in.
You are a stronger person than I. I abhore all those pagent moms and what they do to their children. I think Nikkiz is more beautiful than all those overly made up ridiculous looking children! Really, do they think their kids look cute with make up and silly hairstyles? Children look cute when they look like children!
You are one cool mom for not being judgmental. I admire you for that.
Meanwhile I am shaking my head, wagging my finger and making tsk tsk noises over here.
According to the brief bit of a television show I saw about those little kid pageants, they also wear fake teeth. And spray on tan. Not my thing.
I’m sorry. I can’t *not* judge those people. Honestly, I don’t believe it’s coming (at least not entirely) from a place of love. I think most of those pageant mothers are trying to live vicariously through their children. I’ve watched quite a few documentaries on the subject, and it’s damn creepy, and sad.
I don’t necessarily agree with pageants in general, but if adult women want to be in them I don’t judge (okay, not a lot) because that’s their business. But when you involve little girls? Ick. Dressing them up is one thing, but makeup and hair extensions and tanning and modeling TWO-PIECE BATHING SUITS? I really think that’s verging on abuse.
And really, a lot of those little girls (especially the older ones) don’t want to be there any more than their brothers do. Sad.
I see that everyone else here feels the way I do: that we wish we could be as nonjudgmental as you are. I try, I really do, but those pageant parents (any stage parent of any variety, really) make my hair stand on end. I always like to fantasize about those few girls who will grow up and become total tomboys as a result of all that early sequin exposure.
You are absolutely a better person when it comes to the non-judgement. I really try hard to live and let live, but little girls in pageants? No. Just. No. I understand that lots of little girls would love the glitz and pretty dresses,etc., but it goes way beyond a frilly dress. I seriously question these parents’ judgement and what kind of self esteem issues crop up from having to look perfect and way too old far too soon.
I have spent way too many hours watching those pageant reality shows on TV. I just cannot quit watching!
I just saw a preview from one of those reality pagent shows and there are twins competing and the mom was all (making up the names cuz I don’t remember them) “Laura is so beautiful and poised and smart and talented, and Ashley is well just Ashley” about her TWIN DAUGHTERS. Seriously wanted to reach through the tv and rip those girls from her. I wanted to cry for the one daughter. and that was just the preview.
I don’t get that kind of thing at all….pagents for little kids are too out of control…..
hahaha…NikkiZ = “princess grace”. My Beans = “miss congeniality”…lol
I also try to be a everyone does there own thing kind of parent, but I am very judgmental of pageants. I am horrified by them and yet, can’t stop watching Toddlers and Tiaras. You are a better person than me!
If all the children had fun while doing the pageants it would be one thing, but when you watch those shows and see them melting into puddles and going ballistic it’s time to take stock of what’s important.
I saw the same preview that stacey saw and was also thinking, “wha…?” A dance or tumbling class here or there is one thing, it’s quite another to be parading your 3-yo in a bikini and false teeth and hair extensions in front of a room full of strangers.
GAG. Sick. I hate that little girls go through this… like we don’t have ENOUGH twisted messages for girls in society, let’s start ‘em young, shall we? Kudos to you for not judging.
And bathing suits? REALLY? WHY?
NikkiZ is so darn cute, though. Looks like she’s loving the carousel!
Me? Totally judgemental on the pageant thing. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Leggings though? So right! You will feel much more comfortable in the shirt dresses! Go Zoot!
Yeah, pageants scare me. (Mostly the kid ones, though the adult ones creep me out a bit too). I just watched Little Miss Sunshine, and i liked it.
Zoot- have you or LilZ read any of Cassandra Clare’s The Mortal Instruments series? The are awesome! Better then Twilight, near HP good. I sear. City of Bones is 1st, then City of Ash, then City of Glass.
Pageants for any age group give me the heebie jeebies. I have a friend who was in them for many years and now helps coordinate them and she seems to have turned out to be a fine person, but I can’t help but wonder how many of those kids really enjoy the experience.
I think NikkiZ is very lucky to have such a sane mom.
Little kid pageants creep me out big time!