misszoot.com

Those who know me in the “real world” have heard the story at least once about the time I let someone think LilZ was a girl through a lengthy conversation when he was a baby. It’s one of those staple stories either HE tells or I do. But when I do it’s usually in shame. See – LilZ had an amazing head of curly hair when he was a small baby. Everywhere we went people thought he was a girl and I never corrected them. They usually said, “What a pretty little girl!” and I would thank them and carry on. It happened too often for me to stress out about correcting everyone. And while I rolled my eyes mentally because I always dressed him in blue, that was all I did. Mainly because I didn’t want them to feel bad and since I’d never see them again – what did it matter? One day, however, someone asked me what “her” name was. I told them, and I guess since LilZ’s name is so unique (I’ve never heard of it anywhere else) then they just assumed it was a girl’s name and said, “Oh! That’s pretty. What’s her middle name?” I froze momentarily because LilZ actually goes by his middle name, his first name is all boy which would obviously give away his gender and officially make me look insane for either A) Giving my daughter an obvious boys name or B) Not correcting the woman originally. So, I did the only thing I could think of and gave him my old middle name, “Um…Ann?”

This is one of the stories that proves the length I’ll go to in order to avoid making someone else (or myself for that matter) feel bad or awkward.

Last weekend I had another story to add to my arsenal of Crazy Crap Kim Says To Make Other People Feel Better.

I was at Target and walking with AndyZ in the buggy (Yes. We call them buggies here.) to find LilZ. As I was walking past the infant section I saw a woman looking at the items on the rack as her 2-year-old daughter flipped head first out of the buggy and onto the tile floor. The sound it made when she hit was horrendous and my only thought in that brief moment was the worst. I assumed so bad that when the girl immediately jumped up and started screaming and grabbing her head, I was actually relieved. I debated for one second about offering assistance and then immediately ran over to help the Mom telling her, “I saw her fall! I’m so sorry!” (I think maybe I felt guilty for not being able to fly across the store and stop her.) The first thing the mother said to me as she embraced her daughter and looked as though she was about to cry was, “I’m so stupid! I was just shopping and not even paying attention!”

Okay. I’ve never had a kid fall out of a buggy. But – she had an infant in the carseat in the part you normally put 2-year old’s in. I’ve done that before. Put the “safer” kid in the back. And while we all think we know our kids well enough to judge whether they’ll jump out, or we watch them close enough to make sure they don’t, there was honestly: NO PART OF ME judging her. I felt nothing but sympathy as I ran to the concessions to get her some ice. Never once did I think anything negative because I know the truth: You just can’t always watch them. Yes, you can do things to avoid disaster but I’ve made risky decisions before and just hoped for the best. Some decisions are worse than others, but we’ve all made bad choices and hopefully the worst has never happened. This was nothing more than an accident and I felt awful that SHE felt awful.

Eventually an entire team of employees was gathered around us as we tried to decide what to do and I tried to ease her mind. So what did I do? I totally made up a story to make her feel better. I won’t tell you exactly what I said because I feel so stupid for possibly jinxing myself – but I basically made up a grand story about how the same thing happened to me, “So don’t you be hard on yourself. You’re not the first one this has happened to. It’s okay.”

I basically made up a story about almost maiming my own child to make a woman feel better about almost maiming hers. See? I’m officially insane.

When I left the woman she had her daughter calm and happy at the front of the store talking to management so I’m hoping she ended up being fine but I’m not sure if they called an ambulance or anything. I just got the heck out of there before my lie came back to haunt me I found myself slipping on a wet floor and cracking my skull open. That’s how karma for the klutzy works, you know.

And as usual, I’m ending this entry with completed unrelated photos! These are from yesterday’s trip to the botanical gardens to see their new summer exhibit: Tremendous Treehouses. SO AWESOME. This place is so worth the $70/year for membership. This summer even more so because the kids LOVED the new exhibit.