I Abhor The Silence
Silence is not golden in my home. Silence means someone is doing something they shouldn’t. Silence means one of my favorite articles of clothing is getting colored on or Donnie’s toolbox is being dumped on the floor and examined for the most dangerous item to be used as a hairbrush. Silence means clothes are being dragged out of every drawer and strewn across a bedroom. Silence means books are being taken of shelves and uncovered and possibly, if I’m really lucky, pages are being ripped from bindings.
It is for that reason that I welcome the screaming and squealing. If the kids are playing and I can hear them? That is a good thing. That means they’re playing loud – but appropriately. You don’t have to teach a child to hide and be silent when he’s doing something he shouldn’t, he knows that at birth. It’s some sort of survival trait we’re all born with. If the kids are singing and yelling and jumping on beds? I can hear them and THEY ARE FINE.
I’m not sure if all families are like this. Maybe your kids aren’t mischievous so silence simply means: Peace and Quiet Playtime. Maybe your kids read quietly or color in silence. Even when mine are reading and coloring they are talking and singing and yelling. My kids are only quiet for two reasons (1) A stranger is talking to them and they’re being shy or (2) They are doing something that will have them put in timeout as soon as someone catches them. That is it. There is no other time when silence is a factor so silence is NEVER WELCOME in my home. Not with my wild monkey children.
I kinda like it that way. I like the loud singing and the crazy yelling of direction during some random imaginary scene my daughter is orchestrating. “No, Wes! You are the Wild Dinosaur and I am the Princess Who Is Sword-Fighting You!” Even though my kids like to be mischevious at times, I at least know the warning signs: I Can’t Hear Them. As long as I can hear them? All is right in my world and I can finish washing dishes without worrying that my childhood books are being torn to pieces or that Wes’s face is being drawn on with Sharpies.
My mom was never a fan of noise, but I do remember her saying (when I was older), “That boy/girl is too damn quiet. Somebody go see what they’re up to.”
This is why my stomach is in shreds after the neighbor boys come to play. SHREDS. Silence when it is just my kids means that all is well. Silence when the neighbor boys are over means that my expensive foundation makeup is being poured on my bedroom carpet.
Silence definitely means something not good is afoot. Like my purse has been found and lipstick is being liberally applied…everywhere. Noise, which at a minimum consists of MP talking to herself, is our sign that everything is ok as well.
AMEN! I’m a nanny and I work with two very… spirited… boys and if it’s ever quiet for more than 30seconds, I know that something is going terribly, terribly wrong.
Yup. With a 16 mo, I will also add that talking and giggling means he’s still breathing (as in, hasn’t found a choking hazard yet).
I like that your princess sword-fights
I agree that pure silence is a really big tip that something they know is wrong is happening. But on the other hand the extremely loud is something I usually discouraged. You’ve heard the use your indoor voice statement before, but also too much screaming makes it difficult to know when the screams mean you should come running.
There is more of a middle ground that I was more comfortable with that does include being loud enough to hear what IS happening. Bangs and just general toy noises mean you know she has gotten out the noise maker or he’s playing with the See and Say. Laughter and talking is good too. But at the indoor level. I typically can tune out that middle level of noise so that if in fact I’m attempting to concentrate or have a phone call, I can manage it. But I’m still very aware that it is IN the background.
Also in the future for the purpose of making a phone call, you may want to put AndyZ in his crib until you are done with the phone call. You said he’s not crawled out of it yet, so for now its still safe and possibly you can explain that you need him to stay in there, with some toy to occupy him long enough for you to finish the phone call. I realize he may not like it but given what has happened, and that you do have to make these phone calls, then it’s the best short term solution I can think of. And possibly you can explain when he cries and complains about having to be pinned up, that if he hadn’t went on a destructive binge when you left him be, you’d not have to protect him for his own safety.
Those were the days! I had five little ones. The noise meant all was well with the world. For mine, there was always a distinctly different quality to the noise if someone was hurt or needed help.
Some days I actually miss the noise now that they are grown.
Our house was always noisy, too. I’m the oldest and I distinctly recall washing dishes with my mom in the kitchen one day, and we remarked that the house seemed quiet. Not 5 minutes later we heard screaming coming from my brothers’ bedroom. Those three jokers had been taking turns tying each other up to the bunk bed ladder and timing to see who could undo themselves the fastest. When it was my youngest brother’s turn, he had a hard time and started jumping up and down to loosen the knots. He accidentally unhooked the ladder and fell forward smack onto his face, cracking two teeth. Luckily they were baby teeth!
I just wanted to say that is a GREAT picture at the top of this post. What a cute little mischievous smile! I love it!