My To-Do List Is Going To Eat My Brain
My birthday went well. I spent the morning with my son and his friends out at an outdoor mall where we ate lunch at PF Changs and played in the fountains a bit. I went out to dinner at Panera Bread with MrZ and made him see Eclipse with me. It was a very Zoot birthday. Nothing extravagant, but all of my favorite things in one day. Except for the part where AndyZ became possessed by demons and refused to nap causing his mood to spiral out of control making me leave him in timeout for the majority of the late afternoon/early evening. But then I left him in the care of LilZ while I went out for my birthday! So he had to deal with it – not me. Perfect ending to a great day.
I’m in a weird place lately. I feel overwhelmed with how much I have to do and find myself so stressed out over the daunting tasks in front of me that I fizzle out completely and stare blankly into space letting the anxiety eat away at my insides. I still have several things left to do at the old house before we can sell it: Clean, tear down wallpaper border, paint a bedroom, touch up trim and doors, steam-clean carpet, and landscaping. We may be able to outsource some things (cleaning) and MrZ might be able to help with others (landscaping) – but it’s still a daunting list. This after the last two weeks of just clearing everything out to begin with. I’ve taken about 10 van loads of crap over to Goodwill in the last two weeks. I’ve put piles of trash on the side of the street. And I’ve loaded nineteen million boxes up the nineteen million stairs into our new home.
Sometimes I feel like the word overwhelmed is not strong enough.
But this is all has to be done while I go about my daily tasks associated with being a Stay-At-Home Mom. And while many think that involves sitting around watching cartoons all day – I have yet to figure out how to make it so. In my life it involves a lot of driving, cooking, cleaning and laundry. Days already full to the brim with tasks and children needing my attention. So, trying to squeeze in the other stuff is much harder than it sounds. I had to mow two lawns this week. One lawn is hard enough to schedule and usually involves me asking LilZ to listen for the kids at naptime while I mow, but two lawns? One at a house I no longer live in? PAIN IN MY ASS. And, Yes. I have a teenager who could mow grass. But he is busy doing the other 90 million things I make him do every day. Don’t worry – that kid does NOT GET OFF EASY. He could probably write his own blog entry about how he’s looking forward to school starting back up so he can get a break from summer already.
Anyway…I’m just overwhelmed. And when I get like this I have trouble focusing on individual tasks and spaz out over several tasks at once accomplishing NOTHING in the end. Anyone else do that? Lose focus and just try to do everything simultaneously resulting in nothing actually getting accomplished? How do I reboot my system to be productive? Should I organize some sort of task list? Half the day at the new house and then half at the old house? (Even though the kids are bored to death at the old house since there’s NOTHING THERE.) Do I just abandon the current SAHM life and eat pizza and wear dirty clothes until the old house stuff is done? How do you tackle huge challenges in your life when you feel like your life is already too busy as it is? Giant To Do Lists tattooed to your forehead? Hire retired football coaches to scream commands in your ear all day? Ogres ordered to eat your limbs if you don’t complete certain tasks in a given timeline? I’m at a very anxiety-filled and overwhelmed loss over here and would love to hear how you handle it when life throws you a million more things to do on top of your already busy existence.
NikkiZ would like to commiserate over her busy life that requires stressful thing like matching her outfits with her fingernails. OH, THE DRAMA!
I TOTALLY GET THIS!!! We are about to move, too, and I am beyond overwhelmed. What helps me is a calendar–one of the ones where you can see the month at a glance. On a separate piece of paper, I list absolutely everything that needs doing, and then I figure out what day to put them on on the calendar. I even rough in times. It really never works out the way I planned it, but I am comforted by knowing I thought it all out and when stuff can get done, and so if I have to change it around, who cares. I don’t have the burden of trying to keep the whole list in my head at once, as well as all the hellish worrying about when I will ever do it.
Good luck!
Your son and his friends sound like awesome kids, would they be willing to earn a few extra bucks this summer by helping at the old house?
This totally happens to me too and it SUCKS. I use a system similar to Sarah, but usually just on any lined piece of paper. I write Monday, Tuesday, Wens, etc spaced down the one side. Then I start plugging in all the things that need to get done and really weighing if they are a high enough priority to make it onto that list. If its something that can be put off for a few weeks or something I can just opt not to do (ie scrub the grout in the bathroom. Its made it how many weeks now? A couple more won’t hurt).
For me, it really helps to see everything get plugged in, not only because its all written down and thought out, but because I can alter the order depending on priority and what else is going on that day. Like you probably wouldn’t have time to mow the lawn and remove the wallpaper at the old house on the same day. So visually you can see to split them up better.
Good luck and remember this two house thing is temporary and will be over eventually!
I do the same as Sarah – I try to break up my task list by day so that I don’t get too overwhelmed. Still, I hit the wall regularly (just this week, in fact) and end up running around screeching about how behind I am – and accomplishing nothing.
When that happens, I’m learning, something’s gotta give. I need to relent and let the kids have an extra dessert or movie so they’ll leave me alone a little longer, or I need to be OK with take-out for dinner for the nth time in a row, or I need to just cross something off the list and let it go.
I’m not sure if that’s helpful – I guess I just wanted to say that I understand, and I’m not even facing anything like a big move. You are so impressive. Hang in there, and I hope it gets better soon!
ha. I don’t even have a move to legitimize my utter paralysis at times over what all I have to do. I’m a list maker. Obsessively. And when it gets too long I put them on sticky pads. I only put maybe four things at a time on each sticky paper. Then I just do one at a time. It all always has to be done, but I try to organize the stickies by “crucial” “soon” etc.
Then I tackle them one at a time. THe great thong is when I finish one sticky it gets thrown away!
Ah, the little things. I’m SUCH a nerd.
I swear by the Simple Mom’s Pocket Docket (I wrote about it and linked to it on my blog: http://rancidraves.blogspot.com/2010/03/yet-more-drivel.html)
When I don’t use it, things do NOT get done – I have not used it for over a week now, so I feel you on this post.
I say? Get yourself some sort of listie type of thing going – be it on paper (I prefer paper) or virtual (computer, phone). Simple Mom has a guideline of 6 “really important” tasks per day – otherwise, she says you will get overwhelmed.
Also? Let the SAHM thing go. Maybe we should talk offline because I am worried you are putting really high expectations on yourself in this area.
Oh. And take all of this advice with a grain of salt – my house is chaos.
Don’t forget to CELEBRATE what you have accomplished, even if it’s only 1 out of 100 to do items. One is better than none!
Vent and let it go. Remember the airplane rule: take care of yourself first, then assist others.
Oh my heavens, yes, I do the exact same thing. it makes my head explode and I stress and cry and AHHH. I will be reading the suggested solutions as well!
Oh no! Now I am freaked out. We’re about to close on new house and have to do work to new house before we can move in AND pack old house AND find renters for old house AND do touch up work at old house after we move. Plus, we both work full time and have an active 16-month old. I’m excited about the new house but overwhelmed just thinking about it all. Next few months are going to be crazy. I guess I should just accept it and move on.
I had to see what other people commented because I do this all the time…all the time.
I think I might try to use the list technique….that will allow me to focus on just one task at a time.
If I live by you I would say, lets have a tear down wallpaper party at the old house…but alas I live to far away from you….
I completely understand. Also, I love how I can pick out all your kids’ clothes that come from Target! I work there PT. And yes, it’s very hard not to spend everything I make there, both because they sell such cool stuff and because the pay is lousy!
Hang in there. We are hardest on ourselves!
You must have a list and not a list of everything. A list of a few things at a time that is attainable. Don’t look at the whole picture, it is much too overwhelming and will cause anxiety. Next realize that everything in your new house does not have to be done ASAP. A house is an ongoing project. Give yourself a break every few days and not do home repairs/remodel. Lastly, my surefire cure for that type of stomach clenching anxiety is a bottle of wine and 1 wellbutrin a day!!!
I find that when I get overwhelmed, the best thing to do is to make a list because then I have one less thing to stress about (remembering it all!). Then I can take a step back and realize–yea, wow that IS a lot and I’m not nuts for feeling that way. Then I can prioritize, or heck, even just pick one thing and go. The list will still be there when I get back. It also helps me to figure out what to delegate, how to delegate, etc. : )
Good luck. The whole two house thing is a PITA–we did that for a month and, well, we just alternated mowing weeks and let the grass get a bit tall.
Err..just take 5 min out ea day to just be? ~ like zone out and focus on nothingness, not be so worried?? =D
There is a point in every move where I just walk from room to room wringing my hands. It happens when you get down to all the little bits and pieces that don’t fit neatly into a box/category. I hate that! And to make it worse, all those little ‘sell the house’ details take WAY longer than you think they should. Blah. I fee your pain!
I also seem to have housewifery ADD. I’ll be cleaning up location A and take something to put away in place B. On the way back I will notice something in location B and who knows when I’ll get back to A! To get things done, I try to focus on one task until it is through. Ex: piling the things to be put away in other rooms in one place to be put up all at once. It works pretty well. Sometimes. Good luck!
I am really late with my comment…sorry. I stay so overwhelmed too. You put it perfectly! I used a Franklin Covey planner for years when I worked outside the home and I loved it. It was a daily planner so I had two pages per day with a place for appointments, a list of priorities, and notes. There was a month at a glance too. It really helped keep me on track. I haven’t been able to keep my stuff together since I stopped buying it. It’s pretty expensive so I haven’t been able to justify spending the money since I don’t have a job. But I have wasted so much money on other calendars and planners over the 6 years since then that I am going to get the FC refill this coming year, I think.