Ignorance is Bliss
Do you ever hear loud noises in your house and just don’t feel like investigating? I do that daily. I hear the crash, and then just wait. If it’s important someone will come get me, I hope. Otherwise? I’d just rather NOT know. If Nikki and Wes are playing together somewhere in the house – the freedom that gives me trumps any concern for broken objects or destroyed furniture.
Because – sometimes? You just need that time alone.
Maybe I’m trying to fold clothes. Or cook dinner. Maybe I’m writing a blog entry or coating cake poppers. Either way – there are times when I adjust my concern for destruction or messes just so I can accomplish the task at hand.
The other day I really wanted to write a blog entry so I sat on the couch in the Man Room, turned on Dora (which rarely works because Wes is just not that into TV yet) and gave Wes a pair of kid’s scissors and a stack of paper. He’s just learning to cut and he loves doing it so I gave him a stack of paper to destroy while I wrote my blog entry. By the time I was done? Teeny Tiny pieces of colored paper littered the ground at my feet. BUT I WAS DONE.
It’s a parenting strategy you don’t read about in books. The lengths you’ll go to actually get something accomplished when you’re alone with your kids. I’ve given them makeup to play with and let them color with markers. Two things I never let them do – except when I’m desperate for a solid chunk of uninterrupted time.
So – here’s my question: Do you do that? What are your reserve activities you only allow in moments of desperation? Because I’ve realized lately my arsenal is running low. Scissors and markers aren’t as unique anymore, so I need something else to tempt them into silence. Should I buy some PlayDoh – something I ban in my home – just for those emergencies? What are the activities you allow when all else fails? Or am I the only Mom who saves those black-listed activities for the moments when she needs them most?
nobody’s commented yet? come on… i wanna know, too! LOL
Will’s not into TV either. and he’s still too young to really bribe with anything. if it’s a good night, he’ll curl up on his bean bag with a sippy cup of milk and watch the Cars movie. that’ll last about 15-20 minutes tops. but it gives me enough time to peel potatoes or boil water. ha!
I use this “distracted” method too. But I will never, EVER give in to Play-Do. Play-Do is the devil. My mother thought she would be cute and give Junior a set for Christmas. It was promptly returned to HER house for him to play with there!
Once I sent mine outside with a can of shaving cream. They still talk about that.
My boys are now older and can be told to go outside and play, that’s how I get my time now. Before that, when they were old enough to trust in the bath, I’d stick them in the bath tub. Most of our baths were in the afternoon because they’d be messy and that was the time I needed some quiet or alone time. We still have “Quiet Time” (instead of nap time) from 1-2:30 (used to be 3 but big brother comes home from school at 2:45 now)–I even tell my middle one it’s Mommy’s Quiet Time. Books on CD are great for that, he loves listening to stories and playing in his room (that started about age 2, I had some CDs of short stories for kids).
I’m totally with you on the “if no one is screaming bloody murder, that crash was okay.” Sometimes their schedules (only in their minds, of course) don’t correspond to any realistic schedule for the rest of us. Shaving cream outside-great idea. Books on CD also a great idea. Sometimes just moving a “playroom toy” to the kitchen while you cook can blow their minds enough. I’m always a fan of talking through it about 20 min in advance…”we’re gonna pick a toy from the playroom for you to bring in the kitchen while i cook…etc.” Good luck, and the scissors with a stack of paper is GREAT.
Have you given them glue sticks yet? Not as messy as glue, but the same effect.
I caved on the Play-Doh. They have to do it at the table and I have plastic table mats they use. Still hasn’t prevented some spots of Ground Into The Carpet For Eternity, but it helps. Besides, I have designated my carpet as an official tribute to Jackson Pollack – we went multi-media.
One of my strategies was TV. The trick — as you alluded to — is to use a video you know they’ll be glued to. Pee-Wee’s playhouse worked really well for a while. As they got older, Disney movies were good.
When I had a lot of work to do, I even used to take my kids to the office and set them up watching a video in the conference room!
I’d be careful with scissors or markers, unless they’re right in the room with you so you can keep an eye on them. You might end up with clipped curtains or hair, marked up walls or upholstery, things that take a lot more time/effort/money to fix than whatever you were trying to do uninterrupted in the first place. If Wes is just learning to cut, perhaps the scissors he’s using won’t cut anything but paper (any good books within reach?). Still, even washable markers could ruin a good book or important paperwork (like bills, school forms…).
So much depends on the kid and his/her age. We had a “playpen,” which worked at a specific age, but only for short periods.
I think (actually I KNOW) we all have those moments.
My mom used to run a daycare out of our house, and she’d institute quiet time/time for the adult to get things done. Some days it was TV, some days coloring…she tried to mix it up to keep it interesting.
I actually saw this link yesterday, and I think it’s BRILLIANT. My stepdaughter is probably a bit too old to be entertained by it, so I’m anxiously awaiting when I can use it on my 5 month old. Actually….maybe I’ll lock myself in the bathroom someday, come to think of it….
http://www.filthwizardry.com/2010/09/craft-foam-bath-murals.html
Heh. Desperation parenting. My last resort is to let my two-year-old play in my purse or disassemble my wallet. She loves it , and I hate it. So it’s reserved for emergency use only. Which means it works.
I do use the play doh but only in the kitchen and I bought a vinyl tablecloth at the dollar store so my table stays safe. another great but messy thing is moon sand. It is a mess but doesn’t get ground into anything and can be cleaned up quickly with a vacuum. This makes for at least 45 minutes of quiet time for me. It comes in a plastic “sand box” and has tools to make it into shapes and bricks and a plow truck to destroy your creation. Try it!
NG – the shaving cream idea is genius! I have the best memories of our ‘shaving cream fights’ in Girl Scouts, and we planned them from like ages 9 to 14. It never got old. I never thought about it as something that could be done at home. (It was a camping trip speciality, but always near the hose!) I am so remembering this for later.
Once when all I wanted in the world was to clean the kitchen (I know! Not even something fun/relaxing), I set my then 14 month old up with a thrift-stored non-board book and let him tear it to pieces. Then gave him a bowl and instructed him to fill it with the pieces. Then gave him another bowl to transfer the pieces back and forth. Got a lot done that afternoon!
I love play-doh!!!!!! I get the plastic dinner place mats that they have one the dollar isle at target and i put the plastic painters mat under the table and let my oldest (shes 6) go to town. I started letting ehr play with it since she was 2 and have had no problems… sometimes i even make my own play doh and get helps “cook” the play doh then gets to play with it all the mess falls on the painters mat and then i either shake it clear or throw it away i do the same thing when she uses paints too. She plays for hours and I am able to do somethings i need/want to do.
Also bought her the babie head (its a gaint barbie head) and it lets you do its hair and put makeup on it and that keeps her really busy!
I have a big rubbermaid container that I keep some toys in and drag out when I need a few minutes. I keep puzzles, games, stringing beads, and lacing boards in it. It used to work really well…but apparently it isn’t so novel anymore and I have to admit I use popcorn and a movie if I really need some time…and just a TV show if I need a few minutes.
TV still qualifies as a bribe here. We’re going down the road of using the iTouch as a bribe rather quickly. Beyond emptying a dresser or a bookcase, I can’t yet find a line where there’s something I can handle if I have to – but once kiddo stops putting stuff in his mouth, I’m trying that shaving cream!
I do it too. Always have.
I hate PlayDo. But we have it, just for those days. The snow days. The sick days. The I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO days. And when I pull out the playdo tub? It’s like Christmas.
Some construction paper, glue sticks, old magazines, and scissors are another no-fail.
To the chagrin of my husband, I do this. Which means Tebow is probably in our bedroom pulling out CDs or DVDs or climbing on something, or messing with another thing… Today I had to write a rather important email (lengthy too) and was interrupted four times by the trouble Tebow was causing. I probably could have made it two times, if Fuller hadn’t kept yelling at me to tattle on his little brother.
My husband came up with this activity…fingerpainting naked in the backyard
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kliebeans/3609415074/
I use TV. And sometimes, cookies.
When Matt was about 2 years old, I asked the relatives to all send him “junk” that they had handy, that wouldn’t be dangerous to a kid his age–wood scraps (nothing splintery), yarn, poster board pieces, whatever. I actually got a pretty interesting collection of stuff! I put it in a big tub, which I set aside for those special times when I really needed some time to myself. When I did bring it out, I gave him Scotch tape (TAPE!) and kid-friendly scissors and just let him do whatever he wanted. Of course, by the time I was done, it was more likely that he’d be covered in tape and that little bits of things would be taped all over the vertical surfaces of the house, but it was all good. I’d leave those things alone for a couple of days, then when he was sleeping at night I’d take things down, take things apart and put them back in the bucket. After a full night’s sleep he didn’t realize I’d taken everything down–no object permanence.
He wasn’t much older when I got him his first computer game–it was made by Tonka and it had a base with a steering wheel and up-and-down levers. We could be side-by-side, him running heavy machinery and me doing my own thing. Also great for desperate times. Requires a multi-computer house, of course.
I can’t recall that we had a consistent “special thing”, but we did have one blissful 2 weeks one summer after I had acquired a friend’s old, broken Advent projector TV for nothing. This thing was one of the original projector TV’s, a 3 foot cube packed with circuit boards and wiring. My wife thought I was nuts at first. I took out the picture tubes and disposed of them, and then put the TV in the garage. I called our 2 boys over, handed them a couple screwdrivers and a wrench, pointed at the TV, and said “take it apart”.
I think every little boy in the neighborhood was in that garage for a couple of weeks.
Our girls were too young to handle a screwdriver effectively, but they spent a lot of time just watching.
Get those kids some playdoh! They’ll love it!!! You might be surprised that it will be easier to clean up then thousands of tiny bits of paper on the floor!
I have let my kid play with my Blackberry when I just needed a few minutes. There aren’t any numbers in the address book, so I don’t worry he’ll accidentally call anyone. He has, however, set up weird appointments on my calendar.
Whatever works and doesn’t burn the house down
I bring out Color Wonder stuff when I’m parenting alone. They can be creative, I only have paper to clean up.
However, I will not buy Play Doh. I can not stand the smell. It’s just gross. My mom bought some for the kids and they took it outside and made stuff on the sidewalk. Then it disappeared that night and I wonder where it went? (whistles)
The Twins’ grandmother gave them Play Doh for their 5th birthday this summer. I loved Play Doh as a kid, and we don’t have any furniture (or carpeting) that can really be ruined, so they can play with it in the kitchen. But, oddly, they never ask for it. If I mention it they want it, but if I don’t, they don ‘t seem to miss it.
What they ask for all the time is “painting” which here means Dollar Store watercolors. Sometimes they paint pictures on blank paper, sometimes they paint, rather than color, in their coloring books. I LOVE this activity as it’s completely washable, and I come from a long line of artists.
Out latest “challenge” is finding something for them to do on the commute between here and their mother’s house which is 90 minutes each way. On the way home they always nap because it’s late in the day, but on the way to “Cape Cod!!!” they are awake – and getting to the age where they are bored with the drive. I will die before I resort to TV in the freaking car (because, really, I can barely stand it in the house and it’s why my “desperation” activity is the TV – in their room) – any suggestions for car activities for 5 yr olds?
well, I like the shaving cream idea. and safe finger painting. also bubbles. I really want to get a little sandbox too, for our porch.
My son likes tv… ever since he was 6 months. I know that is way too young to watch tv, but when you’re desperate?
I’ve also wanted to try those bath/window markers, but I think you’re the one that showed us that, lol.
Noah also loves video game controllers so he has one of his own with the batteries taken out
I put mine at the island bar and spray shaving cream on the counter tops and just let ‘em go at it. It cleans up easily and they smell good when they’re done!
I swear, you post more things that I feel the exact same way about, but you do a MUCH better job of explaining them. Thank you, it makes my life easier
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