Pain.

Two years ago I said Goodbye to my Dad. Today I’m in crippling pain due to a plethora of reproductive issues that are always plaguing me, but seem to be at a pinnacle today. I feel like that’s the universe’s way of giving me an excuse to be in bed and grumpy. And also doped up, if I have anything to say about it. Nothing like dealing with emotional distress by begging your doctor for pain medication. HEALTHY!

I really thought I’d be fine today. I’ve been fine lately. But I guess I’m exhausted since I spent all night wanting to rip my ovaries out with a spatula…so waking up on the anniversary of the death of my Dad and suddenly? I’m not fine. Will I feel better once the pain is dealt with and I can sleep? Yes. Most definitely. Will I still be sad because I miss my Dad? Yes. Most definitely.

So, if you need me I’ll be wrapped up with a heating pad and hopefully getting a prescription filled for something a little stronger than ibuprofen. And remembering Dad while I wallow in misery. Which would do nothing but irritate the hell out of him. I like to consider it an homage to my teenage years, which I spent torturing him with my sadness and mood swings.

I miss you, Dad.

Crown.

Crayon vs Crown from zoot on Vimeo.

My daughter started a conversation with me last night about the confusing nature of the two homonyms: Crayon and Crown. I pointed out that they are not – in fact – homonyms. That just because some of us say them the same way…that’s not exactly right. I then did what anyone would do and grabbed my phone to start the conversation over again.

This is all I’ve got for today. Because it makes me smile and I’m struggling this week. I’m worn out and binge eating and struggling to keep my spirits up on the anniversary week of Dad’s death. And this video makes me laugh because my kid…as different as she is from me in so many ways…is also JUST LIKE ME in many others. I love the say she tells stories…she has the same conversational narrative I do. And while there are days she makes me crazy with her antics…she also manages to bring smiles to my face when I need them most.

Boring Ole Me.

It’s all over and I’m equal parts desperate to have my life get back to normal AND devastated that my life has to get back to normal. It reminds me of my family moon (we had E when we got married so we took a FAMILYmoon instead of a HONEYmoon) and how I was very sad to not be planning my wedding anymore. You spend a huge chunk of time and energy on one thing for so long, and then it’s over. And you find yourself going, Wait. Where am I? What am I doing? GIVE ME SOME HAIR TO FRENCH TWIST.

Luckily, Nikki was excited about my night off and my anxious hands and she let me french twist her hair last night. She’s cooperative like that. I can’t believe that I now know how to French twist. WHO AM I? I also learned to do wigs and style guy’s hair. And, of course, I learned to grease up and streak my own kid’s hair.

Monsieur d'Arque

Don’t we all, at some point, have to learn to style our kids hair with grease and gray streaks? No? Oh. Just me then.

Either way…I have all of these hair skills now. And last year I learned how to do basic theater makeup. I’m becoming quite the backstage Jack of all Trades, aren’t I?

And now? I’m just back to being boring ole Kim.

::sigh::

It doesn’t help the withdrawals that I’m behind on my domestic life. I kept using the show as an excuse to put off everything from showering (WHAT?) to vacuuming or cleaning toilets. Now all of that TOTALLY AWESOME stuff is waiting for me instead of the excitement of backstage with a bunch of high school kids.

::SIGH::

Luckily…my kids are kinda cool. We got to play board games last night and Wes helped me cook dinner by being the first to use my new meat tenderizer. See? THAT’S excitement, right there. I BOUGHT MY FIRST MEAT TENDERIZER. Way more exciting than the theater. New kitchen tools!

So, life is back to normal. Except I’m totally an owner of a meat tenderizer now. Meaning my life is waaaay more exciting than it was before Beauty and the Beast. I mean…I can tenderize meat now! It’s a non-stop party over here.

The Young Prince…For About 12 Seconds.

The Young Prince
Ah…Nothing says “high school” like institutional cinder block walls.

I made E let me take this picture before he went on stage last night. This is how he starts out the show. Notice he’s in his makeup AND he has his mic on. HOW COOL IS MY KID? He starts out as the young prince for the pantomime story of how the prince became the Beast. There are no lines, and it’s done with some awesome special stage effects (I SO WISH YOU COULD ALL COME SEE IT) to make E suddenly be the Beast, and then he does a Quick Change (Definition: When you strip off one costume just barely off stage and put on another) to be in the ensemble as a simple villager in the next scene. It’s one of the more fascinating parts of a stage show, to me, is the Quick Changes. There are tons of them in this show, and these kids just have to learn to have no modesty. I mean, they basically get partnered with people before the show opens who will help them strip and change during the entire run of the show. It’s a logistical puzzle organized by a director: Who is on the right side of the stage at the correct time with nothing to do: Pairing those kids up with ones that need help changing. There are TONS of teams just for the Clock and the Wardrobe since those are huge costumes that the actors can’t really get out of alone, even if they had all the time in the world.

He wears this for about 1 minute on stage, but he’s the first person you see. He is the opening face of the show and to me? That’s the coolest part of this very small job. He also gets to be part of a cool, tricky scene that even my husband – who KNOWS how they do it – said he didn’t realize what was happening the night we saw it. He was all, “Suddenly it was the Beast there and not E!” It’s so cool. And if I could show videos of it, I would, but they don’t allow it. It’s really too bad, too – because there are so many high school productions on YouTube that just pale in comparison to this one. I’d love to be able to show off – even small parts of it. But they won’t allow it for several reasons, many being creative ones.

So I can only give you pictures. And descriptions that are totally insufficient. Just imagine 40+ kids as awesome as mine…loaded with talent and energy…performing the HELL out of this show. And then imagine me crying during the entire thing and screaming and clapping after each song because I’m just so filled with pride for each and every one of them.

The Young Prince

Especially this one.

What You’re Missing…

I haven’t had much time to spend on blog entries lately, with my crazy B&B schedule. I had a night “off” last night and spent it catching up on laundry and dishes and baking and housework. I did all of this instead of writing about any of the topics rolling around in my head. My family seems to care more about clean clothes than they do entertaining blog entries. SELFISH PEOPLE.

I thought I’d at least share the list so that I’ll have something to go by when life calms down next week. Until then? I’ll fine-tune these in my head so when I finally write them they’ll be UBER-awesome.

  • I would love to expound on my own insecurities that I’ve been thinking a lot about after commenting on this entry about coming to terms with the number on the scale.
  • I want to talk about things I learned recently I may be doing wrong…like packing my dishwasher. Do you load yours back to front or front to back?
  • I need to take a moment to rant about clothing sizes and how frustrating it is that I wear 3 sizes bigger in the Target Mossimo brand than I do in the GAP jeans brand. And while I enjoy the smaller size GAP gives me, what is my correct size?
  • I’ve been wanting to compile a list of my running/workout gear that I can’t live without. From a specific type of running tights/capris to my favorite socks.
  • I’d love to talk about Spring. How I love Spring. I want to write about the flowers and the birds and the pollen which is – for some reason – causing my DAMN EYES TO SWELL SHUT this year.