Pain.

Two years ago I said Goodbye to my Dad. Today I’m in crippling pain due to a plethora of reproductive issues that are always plaguing me, but seem to be at a pinnacle today. I feel like that’s the universe’s way of giving me an excuse to be in bed and grumpy. And also doped up, if I have anything to say about it. Nothing like dealing with emotional distress by begging your doctor for pain medication. HEALTHY!

I really thought I’d be fine today. I’ve been fine lately. But I guess I’m exhausted since I spent all night wanting to rip my ovaries out with a spatula…so waking up on the anniversary of the death of my Dad and suddenly? I’m not fine. Will I feel better once the pain is dealt with and I can sleep? Yes. Most definitely. Will I still be sad because I miss my Dad? Yes. Most definitely.

So, if you need me I’ll be wrapped up with a heating pad and hopefully getting a prescription filled for something a little stronger than ibuprofen. And remembering Dad while I wallow in misery. Which would do nothing but irritate the hell out of him. I like to consider it an homage to my teenage years, which I spent torturing him with my sadness and mood swings.

I miss you, Dad.

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16 Responses

  1. Monica says:

    I’m sorry you are in pain today, Kim. Nineteen years after the death of my mother, I still miss her. Does it hurt as much as it did two years after she died? No. But I still miss her. And like your dad she would be irritated that I get upset sometimes that she’s gone. But our parents can’t teach us how to love then expect us not to hurt when they are gone. It just doesn’t work like that.

  2. ccr in MA says:

    I’m so sorry. I hope your day improves at least a bit. If not, maybe tomorrow won’t be as bad.

  3. Elaine C. says:

    I’m sorry for your physical and your emotional pain. It sucks. I’m trying to beam some positive karma over your way today. If it works, I take full credit. If not, well, I tried! Oh, and bless you for the Firecracker recipe. AWESOME!

  4. Kym says:

    We’re in Tornado warnings so it’s taking my mind off the anniversary of my Mom. I hope you feel physically and emotionally better today. Sending pain re-leaving good thoughts to you.

  5. I can’t believe it’s been two years. I felt like I knew your dad through this blog. I hope you feel physically better soon, but it’s totally OK to wallow in your misery. Sometimes that’s all we can manage.

  6. Liz says:

    I am so sorry that you’re going through such a painful day (having gone through a minor reproductive overhaul, I feel you) but, hope you’re feeling better, real soon.

  7. charlene says:

    Hugs. I lost Mom 7 years ago and I still sometimes just really miss her. I think when we are down we want them there to comfort us or just listen to us vent about the issue at hand. It is that inner child that needs to be soothed. Allow yourself this day to wallow and then pick it up like he woud expect. There is no time frame for grief.

  8. Heather says:

    Huge hugs for all of these reasons and just because I hope you’re alright. Ovary pain means instant cranky. Stay in bed.

  9. Maggie says:

    Hope you are feeling better, both physically and emotionally.

  10. NTE says:

    So sorry, hope you’re doing better soon.

  11. Fraulein N says:

    Aw, I’m sorry. You definitely deserve some wallowing time.

  12. tonya says:

    Just wanted to say sorry…you’re in my thoughts.

  13. G.G.R says:

    I just passed the 3rd anniversary of my dad’s death and I spent the day dramatically weeping infront of a photograph I have of him on my wall. *sad fistpound*

  14. Kate says:

    Ugh, so sorry. I hope you are feeling better soon. Sometimes we all need a good wallow, though. Nothing wrong with that!

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