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In the beginning of this weight loss journey, I always assumed I’d have a Magical Moment. A magical change that would define my transformation. You know: I started THIS diet and the weight come off. Or, I started THIS workout program and the weight came off. Or, I read THIS blog, or THIS book, and the weight came off.

A magical, defining moment in time that would start my weigh tloss and it would keep going until I hit my goal.

THE END.

That’s the way we see it on TV and we read it in many personal testimonies. There are many stories of women and men WITH those moments. We read their blogs and we see their magic transformations started by these defining moments. So we assume we will all have those moments.

But you know what I’ve learned? That for 90% of us, maybe more, we don’t have those magical moments. If you’re like me, you have SOME moments. Inspiring articles. Good runs. Low-calories days. Pounds drop off. But you know what often comes next? Bad moments. And you know what I’m learning VERY SLOWLY? That I can’t let those bad moments make me give up. I can’t look at last week, see how bad it was (it was VERY bad), and give up. I can’t just say, “Hmm. That wasn’t my Magical Moment. I guess I’ll give up until I find another one.”

That’s the only difference between then and now. I assumed I needed that moment. I assumed that somewhere down the road, I’d be at my goal weight and when someone asked me how I did it, I would be able to say: THIS IS WHAT WORKED. I could pinpoint the exact day when I started my success because that day would have had my Magical Moment.

The magical workout. The magical diet. The magical person/book/blog. Some ONE THING that made a difference and started my path of success.

But you know the truth? Only a few people have those magical moments. And because they’re magical, they get a lot of attention and focus. But for most of us? It’s not going to work that way.

For me? It didn’t start with one moment. There have been several successful changes that have been followed by failures. I’ve lost 5lbs and gained back 4lbs. I’ve worked out 4 weeks straight, 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day, and then I’ve gone an entire week doing nothing but napping.

I still have a ways to go before I meet my goal. (My goal? To be able to wear my wedding band again. I haven’t worn it since the last trimester of my pregnancy with NikkiZ.) The numbers left are not big, but since my method is success and then failure, even small numbers can be daunting. Slow change is not as satisfying, and sometimes it’s depressing, but I still can’t give up.

I’ve made progress, and the best I can say when people asked me, “What has worked?” is to STOP WAITING FOR THAT MOMENT. Stop waiting for that ONE magical nutrition plan, or workout plan, or woman/man to inspire you. Realize that you need ALL of those moments. A few people only need ONE moment, but the rest of us? We need ALL of them.

For most of us…change is gradual. And while we would all love to have that one thing that changed our lives forever, most of us are going to change over a slow and gradual journey. That’s what worked for me. I quit giving up when I didn’t find my moment.

I wish I had ONE thing I could say worked. I looked for that ONE THING for years. Instead, I’ve had several things that have pushed me in the right direction. I found a fitness program I really like. I am simply trying to eat better. No real nutrition changes, just trying to eat how I know I should be. But many days I don’t. I think it’s easier to make progress even after a bad day when I have a good exercise program, but some weeks I do boot camp in the mornings, run at night, and still gain a pound. Because I stress-ate for 12 hours straight.

Man, I so wish I had a magical moment that worked that I could tell people. Instead, I just have to say that I quit looking for that magic and just took small victories that pushed me in the right direction. And then I haven’t given up when I’ve been pushed back again.

I guess that’s the difference. I quit giving up on the little things trying to wait for that ONE magical thing. For most of us? Change is gradual. They won’t right books about us, or make movies about us. We won’t have features in online magazines about health and fitness. We won’t receive any accolades for how fast and amazing these transformations were.

Instead, we just keep going. Maybe we lose 5 pounds and then gain back three. Maybe we lose 7 pounds and then just keep going. Maybe it takes us 10 months to lose 17lbs (HELLO!), maybe it takes us a year to lose 40. Either way, most of us will not make headlines with our weight loss because for us? Real, lasting change, doesn’t happen in ONE moment. It happens in many moments all pointing us in the right direction. We just can’t give up along the way.