My Thoughts. Which You ALL Have Been Dying To Hear…Right?
There have been a lot opinions shared lately about the concept of banning children from restaurants and movie theaters. I normally wait until all of the commentary dies down before I offer my own, and I only do it then when I feel like my point hasn’t been made by someone else. It usually has been made, and often better than if I have tried to do it myself.
However, no one has made MY point yet, dammit! So, my point is not out there in cyberspace and THAT IS A TRAGEDY.
My first point, and the one I’m shocked no one else has made: Huntsville Must Be Full Of Well-Behaved Children. I mean, I go out to eat a lot and I got to movies even MORE and I have NEVER…NEVER…had a meal or movie ruined because of a child. NEVER. The fact that people write about this like it happens to them ALL THE TIME and that it drives THEM SO CRAZY that they have to rant about it and praise restaurants to ban them, makes me SO CONFUSED.
I mean…how often has this happened to YOU? Is Huntsville just full of amazingly well-behaved children? Do I just walk around with this great bubble of disciplined energy that just makes children in my vicinity behave, at least well enough to make it through dinner or a movie? Because MY CHILDREN WON’T EVEN DO THAT. I mean, I’ve left places with them before, so it obviously didn’t work on MY kids. Is that it? Are my kids the only poorly behaved kids in town?
This is my second point: I Want To Support Businesses That Accept Everyone In The Community. Good and Bad.
SIDENOTE: REMEMBER: This is easy for me to say because I’ve never experienced some of the things you might have. Maybe I’d feel differently if I’d had dinner or a movie ruined by screaming children. I’d like to think I’d still feel the same, but I can’t say for sure since I’ve never experienced it.
The more adult restaurants in my town don’t ever have kids in them. So, maybe we’re weird, but if a poorly behaved kid did show up? I just imagine these places chalk it up to an isolated bad incident. Just like they do when they have a table full of drunk rednecks or a loud bachelorette party. It’s just part of owning a business, sometimes you get annoying customers. I like to think that, especially with children, my community just accepts that sometimes they show up, welcome or not. But banning members of our community, regardless what your business is, JUST MAKES ME FEEL ICKY.
Like I said, maybe I have a distorted sense of reality. Maybe because I’ve never had a dinner or movie ruined by a child, I’m just not ANGRY enough to support this type of action. Is it legal? Ethical? Moral? These are bigger debates. For me? Personally? I just refuse to support a business that does this. I want to live in a community where the good is accepted with the bad. I like to support businesses that would rather accept the periodic rowdy child than to do something like ban the entire age-group.
So…those are my points. Finally out in the universe. 1) I think it’s weird that this is an issue since I’ve honestly NEVER had a meal or movie ruined because of a child and 2) I don’t want to support a business that bans ANY member of my community. Regarless of the ethics, morality, or legality.
Now, the officially can finally be put to rest. You know, because that’s what the world was waiting for. My thoughts. You may carry on with your lives now.
Maybe it’s a regional thing. And maybe, just maybe, we’re talking about the wrong thing.
This is less about the restaurants and theaters than it is about the parents of so many kids. I live in Chicago and spend a ton of time in Phoenix and I’ve noticed the same thing in both parts of the country. I can’t speak to movie theaters (we don’t go that often) but I’ve had more than one meal disrupted by someone else’s kids.I spent years working in the restaurant industry and I can tell you that disruptive children probably cost me more than a few dollars.
As a parent I have removed my child whenever she was disruptive. Removed, as in to the car. It happened probably 10 times at the most and by the time she was 3 she had learned the lesson. I also had her clean up whatever mess she made. That only happened once in a local pizzeria and I never had to do it again. Now, I can take her just about anywhere. Certainly if the restaurant is “adult” I will look for childcare, but I know I can take her if I have to. I also know that she is a kid and that I may be taking my meal “to go”.
And therein lies the problem. I think the “politically correct”, “feel good” society has left these businesses with little choice but to outright deny entry to kids and their parents. Can you imagine the uproar it would cause if a dining room manager or customer approached the parents of a disruptive child and politely asked them to pack up and leave? Or perhaps told the child to return to their seat or to quiet down? These days it can’t be done unless you have video and a lawyer on retainer.
I would love to see every restaurant be open to every family, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that it can’t be done until every family takes equal responsibility for the behavior of their kids.
Well, I must just live in a community where – as you put it – “every family takes equal responsibility for the behavior of their kids.” Because I have never seen what you’re describing. I guess I should just be grateful – if it’s that bad every where else – for whatever makes this community prone to responsible parenting.
This is a really good post. We have a 10 month old and would be so very embarrassed if she behaved badly in a restaurant. There is no way we would not remove her from the situation.
Same goes for any place we take her such as the grocery store, hotel, etc. I just could not sit there and let people stare me down while my kid was acting foolish.
It does suck that this whole conversation is even occurring though because we take our kid EVERYWHERE. Just this weekend we took her to a golf tournament. GASP! She was never disruptive until we were on the way to the car and she had a total meltdown. We saw it coming and made sure we were 100% clear of the area where it would have been taboo.
Did people stare and comment as we walked quickly out of the tournament with a screaming 10 month old? Yep, but by the time we got to that point we were out by the shuttle area where it was noisy anyway. We would have never let her do that in another arena where it would have been disruptive.
So maybe it is about the parents who will just let their kid scream in public. On that same note I found it kind of offensive that we had at least 3 people over the course of the weekend tell us how brave we were to bring our kid out in public. No lie. So what do we do lock her in a closet until she is 18?
And, what about the 20-somethings, sitting behind our table, using each other as appetizers and then making snide remarks once our table got up to leave — no lie, my oldest is 10, just blogged about it — I don’t have a problem with a business asking me to leave, if my kids were being THAT LOUD, as long as they do the same for obnoxious patrons.
I have issues with loud use of profanity. It really bothers me. So, yeah, that same business banning children, I would hope they also ask loud adults to leave as well.
If you raise your concerns to your waiter, or ask to speak with a manager about the situation, most will typically address the table in question or ask them to leave. You have to be proactive and not sit and stew about how terrible the next table is (not saying this is what you did). I’m a 20 something and if there was a table like that around me I would do something about it. There are 20 somethings that are just as bratty as little kids.
I haven’t commented on a blog in years! Here goes: I think it’s unrealistic to expect children to behave at the same level as adults.
They are *children*. How else are they going to learn how to behave in public, adult, settings unless they practice?
I’ve seen a lot of little kid fits during outings, but, honestly, the ones that I still remember and feel embarrassed about are ones thrown by adults who know better.
Yes, I do think parents should be responsible about managing their kids’ behavior in public, but like you, Kim, I feel really icky about telling entire segments of the population they’re just not welcome.
And let’s be honest, if kids weren’t allowed in the movie theater, restaurants, or grocery store here locally I’d never leave the house.
YES. My memory is full of sober adults throwing profanity around loudly (which really bothers me, kids or not) and drunk rednecks trying to flirt with waitresses. So, yeah, the ones involving adult behavior? Totally stick out in my memory. Maybe they have blocked the memories of kid’s fits
I wonder if people have varying definitions about what constitutes a disruption. I’ve lived on the East coast, in TX, in the Midwest and I’ve never had a meal so disrupted by a child that I couldn’t finish mine. Sure, there are times where you hear a kid cry in a restaurant and it’s always either been so fleeting that it hardly registers or innocuous enough where it’s one of those ‘looks like someone’s unhappy’ maybe accompanied by a good natured eyeroll at our table. I think there’s a wide area on the disruptive spectrum between hearing any child (or adult) make noise at more than a conversational level and having a banshee 4 year old run up and steal my date’s plate of pasta and dump it on my head.
Maybe that’s it, maybe I just have encountered the lower end of the spectrum and not been phased whereas that same level constitutes a MAJOR ANNOYANCE to others.
I tried to make this distinction in my own post and I had people on facebook ARGUING with me that a kid crying at a table was the same thing as a kid running around a restaurant unchecked. Seriously? I think there are a lot of people who would be happy to never hear a kid speak or cry or anything for the rest of their lives. Shameful.
I agree with you completely – maybe because I live in a less metropolitan area. I think what bothers me the most about our current society is how much we complain about everything (as I complain about the complainers). Parents really should know if their kids are mature enough to handle eating dinner in a certain restaurant. If they don’t then shame on them. What’s next? Are they going to put a rating system on restaurants. This place is PG13 … this one R?
Yes. Maybe I just accept that no experience is going to be perfect anywhere. Sometimes meals suck. Sometimes they’re awesome. I don’t feel like banning an entire group of people for the periodic disturbance is worth it because I don’t like the general energy it creates.
BUT – like I said – I’ve never had movies or meals ruined. Maybe I’d feel differently, but I really don’t think I would. I think I would just be like, “That sucks.” AND MOVE ON. Sometimes food tastes bad and movies suck…that happens WAY more often than kids misbehaving in my life. Can we ban crappy food and crappy movies instead
?
As a former Huntsvilian, I can promise you that it DOES happen there. Maybe less so then other places, but it does happen. From what it sounds like you and your commenters do what other parents fail (refuse?) to do, which is remove a disruptive child from the situation. Or don’t take them in the first place!
Would you take your kid for a 3 hour meal at 801 Franklin (I use this example because I know it’s an upscale restaurant in Huntsville)? The restaurant in question is a fine dining place, not suitable and not catered towards children. Would you take your child to a movie at a movie theater that serves beer (yes.) but doesn’t play any children’s movies at 10 in the evening? The movie theater in question does just that. They serve alcohol, don’t play children’s movies except for certain days, and don’t allow children under 18 to their evening shows. I think it’s a great rule.
All of these “bans” should be common sense, but apparently they are not. How many disruptive dining experiences do you think had to happen before the restaurant decided to ban children (under 6)? There are many, many family friendly restaurants, and family friendly theaters. I don’t see a problem with parents sticking to those until their child is old enough and can behave.
Also, the cutoff age is 6. What child under 6 can sit through a fancy dinner anyway? I don’t understand why this is a discussion.
That’s kinda my thing. If I want to go to a kid-free restaurant, I go to 801 Franklin. Because I’ve never seen kids there. NEVER. So, they don’t NEED to put in the age limit. I don’t understand the type of restaurant that does…I find it weird.
BUT – I do know that everyone I’ve read who support it have a story. One where they went someplace like 801 Franklin, where they paid $50 bucks their meal and had it ruined by a kid. But how often does that REALLY happen? I just don’t get it.
And those people usually also have stories about being in an adult movie and seeing a Mom with a baby who cries the whole time. I’ve not seen that either. Maybe if I had those experiences, I’d understand the banning more, but I don’t. So I just find it odd.
I have had meals and movies ruined by parents who allowed their children to behave badly, though only once or twice in Huntsville. I’ve actually gotten into a few really awful arguments online about that sort of thing. There are some parents who have a “kids will be kids” attitude about kids screaming nonstop in the store or movie theater, running around underfoot or messing with other people’s food in a restaurant or just generally misbehaving in public. They see no need to try to control the behavior because it’s “normal” for kids to act that way. Then there are the ones who think their children are too precious and perfect to ever be corrected. They think everyone should be thrilled to hear the child scream at the top of her lungs, because she’s just so cute. Those kinds of attitudes really upsets me.
Banning children is definitely legal, because they aren’t a protected class. I have mixed feelings about whether it’s moral or ethical. Personally I think most parents have the sense to know where they can safely take their kids, so they don’t need rules to tell them where their kids shouldn’t be. It’s those other parents who cause people to come up with rules like this, and I hate to see everyone punished because of a few inconsiderate parents. What I would really like to see is more places which ban ALL badly behaved people. Whatever your age – child, teen or adult – if you are excessively loud or disruptive you’ll be warned once and then politely asked to leave. I would definitely support places like that.
this.
I have the “Kids will be Kids” attitude at home, in terms of not stressing about stains and broken objects. But going out to eat and to movies is a PRIVILEGE EARNED. Not a right We only go if YOU behave.
And yeah…I’m hyper sensitive to loud use of profanity. It REALLY upsets me, so if someone opened up a restaurant banning the F-word? I’d be behind that
Same for me: I’ve never had a meal or a movie ruined by a child. Not as in, “Oh, I’m so patient, I don’t mind their shrieky little voices,” but as in there have BEEN no shrieky little voices. I HAVE, however, had a meal/movie ruined by an adult. So.
Oh, yeah. I’m not patient. Maybe I should clarify that. If it HAD happened, I’m sure I’d be annoyed. But it hasn’t.
Hell…I went to a dance concert at a high school once and the most annoying thing? A PARENT who was TEXTING during the show. A PARENT. *sigh*
I don’t think I have had a movie/dinner ruined by a screaming kid either. When we take the kids out to eat, it is always noisy Mexican places. And if we take them to the movies, it is always kid movies. It seems like most people subscribe to that general rule. But if I did hear a screaming child, I think I would just feel sympathy for the parent (and relief that it wasn’t my child).
We TOTALLY do the noisy Mexican place thing with our kids. So much so that the waitstaff at one of them? Would actually play with the kids while I ate. BEST RESTAURANT EVER.
But we do go to “quiet” places sometimes too – never had a problem.
I did sit next to a screaming kid on a plane once, I had Wes with me and I spent the whole time trying to assure the Mom that it wasn’t bothering me, b/c I mainly just felt bad for her.
At the local Mexican restaurant we go to, the staff love and are so welcoming to kiddos. They often bring out a little appetizer of cheese or soup or sugary tortillas so that the kids have stuff to munch on while waiting. I can’t help but think that their welcoming and caring attitude towards kids helps prevent temper tantrums. Kids know when they aren’t wanted to welcome.
And I agree–banning kids doesn’t sit right with me. Asking anyone who is disruptive to leave? That’s fine.
I am behind you all the way. As with Zoot and Swistle, I’ve never had a meal ruined by a child. An adult? Yes. I’m on the I don’t understand it bandwagon.
And as a side note, as a freshly minted mother I took a 1 month old to a movie with friends visiting from out of town (they wanted to go, I needed to get out of the house, I was nursing.) He slept through the whole thing. IF he had cried, I would have taken him out. But if we had not been allowed to go at all? I would have been sad. I’m not sure why establishments can’t ask disruptive people to leave rather than ban whole groups of people.
We were at a movie recently and we saw a Mom come in with a tiny baby. Donnie got worried but I said, “He’ll probably sleep the whole time.” And I was sure she was like you and I are, if they had woken up? We’d leave. But the baby did just what yours did. Slept. I saw a movie once and nursed my child the whole time
to keep her sleeping. I’m sure THAT ruffled a few feathers. 
see this is a great story. If the baby stays asleep it’s all good. I’ve been to the movies here (rural NM) and had people stay in the theater with a crying baby. No one could hear the movie and I finally had to ask the person to take the baby out.
What drives me crazy is seeing people take very small children to inappropriate movies–full of violence and sex. I feel there are movie rating guidelines for a reason. My daughter know those guidelines and doesn’t get to watch R rated movies (she’s 10).
I have had my meal ruined by kids, but they were at my table, so I can’t complain
I did worry about how much they were bothering other patrons in the restaurant. Actually, I know they were bothered because they were shooting daggers at me with their eyes. (Can I just say that the blonde hoodlums at the table might not belong to the blonde woman, they might belong to the dark-haired woman, so can we try to determine who Mama is before we cast the eye-daggers?)
However, I think drunks are worse. I’d rather sit next to a table of rowdy kids than a table full of drunk 20-somethings any day. But in either case? It’s over, done with, I don’t carry personal scars from it or anything. I don’t quite get banning any group of people because they *might* ruin *someone’s* meal. Unfortunately, lots of things can ruin a night out. It sucks, but we can move on.
YES. EXACTLY. EVERY WORD YOU SAID.
I just feel like I have more important things to stress out about, like: WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH THE TV SHOW ’9 LIVES OF CHLOE KING’ to worry about whether a kid OR a drunk ruined my meal last week. Eh. I just move on.
I’m having trouble remembering an instance where my meal or movie was ruined by a kid. Maybe I have good luck. I can remember many instances though back when I worked as receptionist in a salon where kids would get left in the lobby while mom or dad got a haircut, massage, or tanned. The kids would act like fools knocking things over and being rowdy and I would get so angry. I wasn’t paid to be a babysitter. People come to a salon to relax and pamper.
I don’t like the idea of banning children from restaurants as a rule. But I’m all for places asking people to leave who can’t manage their own kids. I’m also in favor of parents having a little bit of self awareness and realizing what places are more kid appropriate. And don’t even get me started on parents who bring their small kids to R rated movies at all hours.
okay, mother of 4 grown. This has never been a problem until one fine lunch several months ago. The biggest bratty 2 year ever!!! The teenage daughter was expected to control while the FAT mom and dad cuddled a baby boy. She made such a scene constantly that people did leave an Applebee’s (a family restaurant).
It’s all a bout parenting PEOPLE! Just do it!
I’ve never had an experience ruined by a child. I think that as a parent, you realize the best places to go as a family. I do believe there are some places inappropriate for children. Parents need to just stay home or get a sitter. Just as someone else said, taking a child to an R rated movie – NO. Taking them to a five star, 4 hour dinner experience – NO. Use common sense. For the first year of my second child’s life, we did drive-thru meals or cooked at home. Going out to eat was nothing but a hassle for me and it wasn’t relaxing or enjoyable. I knew what worked or didn’t work and that is how life was for a while. No big deal, really.
I see no need for banning children. As long as parents understand what works for their family, it really shouldn’t be an issue. If the child acts up at a family friendly place, take them out. I’ve done it before and my kids know I will do it again. Straight to the car, straight home.
The only children who have ever ruined my dinner or movie are my own
I have had plenty of movies, and a few dinners, ruined by rude adults, however. And it it really rude adults we are talking about. If a child is causing such a nuisance that they are ruining the experience for other people, that is the PARENT’S FAULT. People are using kids as a scapegoat, an excuse for asking a rude adult to leave an establishment, because we are so scared to call anybody out for rudeness anymore.
you tricked me…i thought this was FINALLY going to be the post where you give your thoughts on the final HP movie! b/c i am DYING to read that one!
p.s. i have no thoughts on the banning kids thing…i didn’t even know it was an issue? i should probably watch more news instead of big brother, huh?
I have a feeling that the people complaining are the type who as soon as they walk in somewhere and see a child, or as soon as the child walks in, they become disappointed, annoyed thus setting themselves up for an awful time before the child even does anything (if the child does). I have never had a problem with kids being somewhere. Heck, I have wanted to break out in tears at a meal myself a few times.
Next people will try to have childless flights…..
This is what I was thinking. I’ve never had kids “ruin” a meal. I have been annoyed when kids start bawling/playing during movies and their parents don’t do anything but I assure you, it’s not the kids I’m annoyed with. Really though, I think some people are hypersensitive. I love kids, and I have no problem with children as long as their parents are willing to take responsibility for their behavior.
I don’t get though, what some people’s ideas of “kid friendly” is. I’ve seen kids at 9/10pm rated R movies. And I’m talking wee ones. I don’t understand it, but it hardly ruins my night.
I think this an LA/NY phenomenon? Maybe? I’ve had weird things happen a couple of times in Los Angeles. Just minding our own business and someone’s special precocious monster decides mom isn’t paying enough attention, so why not latch on to the friendly people in the next booth and interrupt their dinner. No joke, I’ve been treated as a free babysitter on MULTIPLE occasions by parents who don’t seem to notice that I’m not part of their party. I wouldn’t ban children from restaurants however, I would ban their awful parents.
Huntsville is where I am moving to. In the Tampa area, I have to say it’s not the exception it’s the rule of misbehaving. I am not anti kid at all. I proudly take my great-nephew out and we have a perfectly great time. However, that is him and not the norm. I have been at all levels of dining and here it just seems like the parents open the door spot the seat and say have at it. I have a family friend that only gets to go out to eat once in a great while and her pick is Red Lobster, not upscale, but it’s her treat from one of us. I have had to take her for lunch during the week, during the school year because of the kids that just run into you, yell, parents just act like isn’t it cute.
In New Jersey where my summer place is, there are signs on the menus that state “Well behaved children welcome”. Maybe that is offensive to some, but to me it is a courtesy, why should the restaurant staff have to manage patrons for keeping their kids in check.
Now before the bashing begins, I can tell you my Mother took all 3 of us out to dinner to fine dining every week, we didn’t have any issues, so maybe I can’t understand why other parents (in Florida) seem to think it’s fair game for little girl or boy to run around, scream, cry and disturb diners.
Mind you I am not talking about an occasional outburst or something minimal.
I must be out of the loop, I didn’t even realize restaurants were banning children! I have never had my meal or movie ruined by children. If my child was acting out, I would take him away from the situation. But I can see how many parents just don’t care. However, in that case it’s not fair to punish everyone. A business reserves the right to ask someone to leave. But in many places, keeping it kid-free is going to cost them some money. Their loss, I guess?
I love that you brought this up. There have been many times in restaurants with my husband when a kid nearby started to cry, and we totally did the eye roll over it. I think it’s all in your perception because nevertheless I would never consider a kid crying nearby as “ruining” my dinner. It’s a kid… kids cry… like a previous commenter said, it’s generally a fleeting thing because the kid stops and/or the parent intervenes. What *does* irritate me is when the parents seem oblivious to how it might be affecting other patrons and just let it go on and on without any intervention. That’s happened a couple times but again, to me this isn’t grounds for ruination of my dinner! If anything it gives us something to talk about, how we will be better behaved parents (yeah right, LOL!).
Oddly enough, I’ve never had a movie ruined by a crying child… until seeing Harry Potter 7.2 for the second time recently!! The parent would shush the child occasionally but otherwise just let it go on and on and on for the last half of the movie. I say this now as a prego gal, maybe it will be different when I’m actually a mom, but I would never just sit in a theater and let my kid cry while others are trying to watch a movie. Sucks for me/the parent to have to leave but I’m thinking that’s the risk you take with bringing a small child to the theater.
Sorry, I forgot to mention… if my favorite restaurants and movie theaters banned children, I would turn around and ban the businesses themselves. That’s a *preposterous* solution to an otherwise small problem, in my opinion.
Agreed, I can’t remember ever having a movie or a meal ruined by a child either — and I’ve lived in a big metropolitan city and a smallish college town, both on the east coast. (And I don’t have kids… not sure if that makes me more or less prone to being bothered by other people’s?)
Now, a flight? Different story. The most egregious one I can remember was 100% the fault of the parents, who both steadily ignored their five-year-old boy. He was clearly bored out of his mind and kicking my chair for about an hour before I said anything. They didn’t care when I asked him politely to stop, didn’t care when I asked THEM politely for him to stop… he didn’t stop until *I*, a complete stranger, gave him some blank paper and a pen and asked him to draw me some pictures. He was perfect for the rest of the flight (and I still have the pictures!)
I agree. The only thing that should be BANNED is smoking. Any other person causing issue, be it a disruptive child or adult, should be asked to leave on a case by case basis.
I’ve been to see a few movies where there has been small children talking or making noise throughout the movie, which has always made me roll my eyes and wish the parent had taken the child on the day where they run kid friendly movies theatres (Lights aren’t fully dimmed, and the cinema is just kids and parents). but having said that, i wouldn’t say it’s totally ruined the movie, i haven’t missed anything super important and it’s been twice out of at least 50 trips to the movies. (the only movie that i would say was ruined by people would be new moon, where people could not shut up but thats a different kettle of fish.), Plus my nephew (15 months) talks through tv shows and movies when they are being watched at home, am i supposed to ban him from my living room or house based on this? hell no. and i’ve never had a meal ruined by the experience of kids in a restaurants. like people have said, kids cry, it happens, but if they get out of control ask the parent to leave, don’t ban children from restaurants or movie theatres, how else are they supposed to learn how to behave in public settings with other people around, if you can’t them out?
Ok, I have a couple of comments of my own:
I believe in taking my children with me so they can learn how to behave. There are moments when they are monsters and I correct their behavior. There are other moments when I get so worried about how they are behaving that I make the situation worse due to my stress. We’re working on everyone’s behavior.
We only go to family friendly restaurants because then I don’t have to stress out about how my children are behaving. They aren’t horrible, they’re just children and have a lot of energy and are learning how to control themselves. I’m trying to work on me and my reactions because I have these rules in my head on how children should behave. It’s hard to enjoy them with that going through my mind.
For the plane, we recently took my 6-year-old on a plane where he would inadvertently hit the seat in front of him. We tried to control it, but his legs didn’t touch the ground, so they would get uncomfortable and he would have to move. He would move forward and hit the seat in front with his head. Then he would scoot around. We had plenty of activities for him, it has to do with comfort.
A few years back, we took our kids one year to Las Vegas. Flew there and I was again stressed out about the flight. Guess what? We were rock stars. The flight was full of retirees/grandparents and they were all over my kids.
You know what? The restaurants can ban kids all they want. That just makes my selection easier. I won’t go there with my kids or without. It’s similar to restaurants that are against breastfeeding. Even though I no longer nurse, I won’t give those places my dollars, because I don’t want them to think I support their policies.
I know screaming children just scream your ear off, but it’s mean to ban children, or any segment of the public from a restaurant or theatre xx
I totally agree: I have NEVER had my meal or movie ruined by a child. Maybe by my own children on occasion, and that was more due to my stress than their actual behavior. I do think it is largely related to a person’s attitude and what they consider “ruining” their dinner.
I have two-year-old twins and we go out to eat at least twice a week and have since they were tiny. It’s a way of life in our family, and teaching my girls to behave is important to me. Do I expect them to sit and behave like perfect angels through appetizers, dinner, and dessert? Of course not…which is why we choose restaurants like Logan’s, Red Lobster, Mellow Mushroom, etc. The noise level in those places is such that I feel like it would take an awful lot to really disturb other diners. When we go to 801 Franklin, the girls stay at home (which is rare, just to be honest!).
Our family has banned a local restaurant from our list because they don’t have enough high chairs to accommodate our Sunday lunch party….that is much more irritating to me than a toddler at the next table. Who doesn’t have enough high chairs for four children?? (And I don’t mean they were all in use; I mean the restaurant only OWNS three highchairs!)
I wasn’t going to comment on this, since even though I’m childfree, I’m inclined to agree with you on this. I’ve been annoyed by kids at restaurants, but I can’t say a meal was ever RUINED. I’m also very easily annoyed by noise, a key reason I don’t have kids.
The reason I’m commenting is tonight I was reminded about what the trouble with kids at restaurants is where I live (D.C. area). Around here everything runs late. Dave & I routinely eat dinner past 9. And we often see families with small children out at that hour and later at restaurants. The kids are often badly behaved, probably because they need to be in bed.
We went to dinner around 9:30 tonight at a diner, so admittedly it’s totally kid-friendly. But it was 9:30. This boy (my guess is he was between 5 and 7, can’t be sure, I’m bad at guessing people’s age) started talking very loudly. Then he left his table, stood on a chair at a different table and started spouting off gibberish at the top of his lungs. Didn’t ruin my meal, but definitely made me think “I’m going home and telling this story to Zoot.”
I have never had dinner ruined by kids in the restaurant. Now, I have had a movie ruined (Deathly Hallows Part 1) by a dad who thought it was hilarious to let his 6-year old twins talk through the entire thing (“Dad? Who’s that?” “Dad, Harry got him!” “Dad, I’m getting bored now, can we go home?”). The dad just thought all this commentary was hilarious… and even I have to admit the kids were cute. But still, I just wanted them to SHUT IT. Also I thought it was pretty bold to bring 6-year-olds to a PG-13 movie.
BUT, I have had many, MANY more movies ruined by rude teenagers and full-on adults. So, so many that Joel and I have given up going to the movies on weekend nights because my blood pressure just can’t handle it. I think this is partially because of where we live (in the city), but I can’t even count how many movies I’ve spend fuming because of hooligans yapping and making phone calls during the entire thing. I’ve only had that one movie disturbed by actual kid-kids, and I happened to be sitting directly behind them. They might not have bothered anyone else.
Also, to end a long-winded comment: I think you’re right. It’s not fair to ban an entire age group from a restaurant or movie theather. It’s the parent’s responsibility to not bring a 6-year old to a PG-13 movie, not the movie theater’s responsibility to outlaw it.
One story I heard on the news was from a restaurant owner that had banned kids and his issue was not with the kids per say it was with the parents as mentioned above that did nothing about it, or the parents that when asked to do something about their child who was out of control and they acted as though there was nothing wrong. So his take on it wasn’t about the fact that you can’t have places to take kids just in his experience he had to many parents thinking even though their kids were out of control they saw nothing wrong with it. I also agree that going out to eat is a privileged and you have to take your child out to eat to teach them how to act in public, however if the parent does nothing about the behavior then it does make it unbearable for other patrons. We used to remove ourselves from a restaurant if our daughter got upset and usually she only got upset if it took to long to bring her food to her. So while I don’t necessarily agree with them banning children but from this guy’s perspective he is punishing the adults that bring in the kids in and did nothing about their behavior.