So, last Wednesday I ran and realized my knee was hurting pretty bad. So I took off everything until my trail run on Saturday. Which I ended up cutting short because my knee hurt whenever I ran downhill. (BUT ONLY WHEN I RAN DOWNHILL!) I decided to keep boot camp going this week and even did a workout on Sunday, and my knee hasn’t hurt once in boot camp. BUT I haven’t run since Saturday, and before that since Wednesday. That’s 2 runs in a week and I WAS SPIRALING DOWNHILL FAST.
I’ve gained 5lbs in 2 weeks. I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but I’m not. I’m telling you – when I say that running is my therapy? I’m dead serious. Without my daily runs I am more prone to binging at night and anxiety attacks. I get wrapped up in YUCK without my runs. YUCK I tell you…YUCK!
I decided last night to brave a SHORT and FLAT run. And by “short” I mean 4 miles which is KRAZEE than I now call that a “short” run. But that’s not the point. I got out and ran and it felt SO GOOD. My knee twinged a bit, but never really hurt. And it feels stiff this morning, a little sore, but not bad. I’m not wincing while going downstairs like I did last week.
Am I 100%? Hell, no. I want to run again tonight but not sure if I should. But man – it improved my mood so drastically it’s tough.
My point? This was not me in the previous four years I’ve tried running. Since 2006 I’ve tried various training programs and run different schedules and never have I ever felt so attached to it as I do now. I guess because I didn’t stick with it, it never stuck with me. But this time, I stuck to the plan and ran what I was supposed to run and after several months it became a part of me and now? I’m a wreck without it.
It’s a very weird feeling. To be so glad that something so good for me is something I need so terribly, but it’s also a bit scary to know without it I fall apart. I mean, seriously, I’ve been out of sorts for two weeks. My schedule feels off, my memory seems to be crap, I’m not sleeping well…all because my running schedule is off. I’m feeling equal parts, “Yay! I’m addicted to running!” and “Crap. I’m addicted to running.” Because – you know – it would be nice to stay functioning at a high capacity without running OR binge eating.
But I guess if I have to choose one, I’ll choose running.