Damn Flaky Tooth Fairies.

Nikki lost a tooth this week and I received the DREADED text message on my way home from boot camp the next morning: “Nikki woke up and found her tooth under her pillow :/”

SHIT.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

That’s verbatim, if you’re wondering.

I didn’t even forget entirely! I had the dollar in my PJ pants ready to sneak under the pillow! It’s just that the previous night was one of those “Wesley is screaming and I’m tired so I’ll just lay down with him” kind of nights. He woke up crying before I was even in bed, so I just opted to lay down with him since I couldn’t soothe him. That made me forget ENTIRELY about the damn tooth fairy.

I resisted the urge to point out that The Tooth Fairy has been very busy lately with work and 3 kids in one play that just wrapped and 1 kid in a musical that she is producing and that MAYBE instead of focusing on her FAILURES the Tooth Fairy needs everyone to take a moment to tell her how AMAZING she is for being able to juggle all the balls with just the periodic drop. GIVE HER A BREAK, DAMMIT.

But – like I said – I resisted.

Luckily, Nikki is used to disappointment from fatastical beings. The Elf on the Shelf didn’t move one night either. So, we told her we had NO IDEA why the tooth fairy didn’t come, but we did propose hypotheses. Which she joined in on.

  • Maybe she’s sick?
  • Maybe it fell out too late?
  • TRAFFIC!
  • Maybe she got lost?
  • Maybe your head was too heavy…you do have a melon head like your mother.

I finally told her that the tooth fairy hasn’t met me for lunch for WEEKS (Spoken with my most sarcastic tone, which cracked her up.) so I had no idea what would keep her from doing her DAMN JOB ALREADY. But, Nikki insisted we write her a note DEMANDING an explanation for her slacktitude.

So we did.

And she did.

And the tooth fairy explained that a LOT of teeth were lost that day so some of her Fairies In Training were taking responsibility to deliver some of the money. Evidently the Fairy In Training who came to our house? Is scared of dogs. And she panicked when ours barked. The Tooth Fairy was very sorry and even left FIVE dollars instead of the usual: ONE dollar. (The tooth fairy has a guilt complex.)

So…tell me: What did you do when the Tooth Fairy slacked at your house?

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13 Responses

  1. Monica says:

    Luckily when the tooth fairy forgot to come at our house, the tooth was stuck to our son’s arm, which he had put under the pillow in the night. So I said she couldn’t find the tooth and therefore didn’t leave the money. He put the tooth under his pillow again the next night and kept his arm out from under the pillow this time, and what do you know, the tooth fairy found the tooth and left the dollar. Since we were able to blame him we didn’t leave extra money.

    My cousin gives her kid $5 for every tooth! I’m glad we aren’t the only ones just leaving a dollar!

  2. Bobbie says:

    This brought back memories! I still have the note my (now 21-year old) son wrote to the tooth fairy when she forgot to take his tooth (in our defense, he took forever to fall asleep at night, and was a very light sleeper…). In his letter, I think he told her that he deserved $5 because he had to wait so long, and because it was a very big tooth!

  3. Mary Anne says:

    The tooth fairy is VERY forgetful about coming to our house. She has a lot of hockey games to attend. She gives an extra dollar for every night that she is late above the normal dollar she already gives. The tooth fairy is going broke around here!

  4. amyd says:

    We had our share of tooth fairy forgetfulness. Then there was the time that the tooth fairies got their signals crossed and both my husband and I slipped money under the pillow. And then there was the time that a friend lost a tooth and her tooth fairy was all creative and left a special note and a fancy watch. It is hard to explain why the tooth fairy can be so unreliable, unpredictable and seemingly unfair.

  5. Courtney says:

    I love this. I love how you took something so simple and helped her to find a resolution that didn’t involve telling her there is no tooth fairy. Awesome job!

  6. Rachel says:

    I love this story! And the fact that Nikki wrote a note asking for an explanation. She’s going to make a great executive one day! Hate to be on her bad side during review time. :)

  7. Sarah says:

    We haven’t lost any teeth yet, but I’m scared to death b/c I’m pretty sure our tooth fairy is a total slacker! FYI, this is the second post I’ve read about the forgetful tooth fairy TODAY – so I think she’s pretty busy these days. xoxo

  8. heidi says:

    Let’s see… the tooth fairy has been late SO MANY TIMES. If we’re lucky and the child has caused the tooth to fall out we tell him it wasn’t on the schedule yet. How was she to know it was coming out that day. Other times she has been very busy. Mad rush to collect all the teeth and she must not have got to him yet. Also, our tooth fairy stops pick up/delivery once you hit double digits.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    “Confessed” to the children that I have to email the tooth fairy when they lose thier teeth and that I had forgotten the night before.

    Also, when the kids have woke up saying that she didn’t come, my husband or I distract them, then the other goes in to “check” if maybe she really did come, and sure enough when we encourage the children to make thier own double check, well, looky there, seems she did come after all! Yay! And there is much rejoicing… And surprisingly, not much questioning.

  10. Heather says:

    You are such a good mom! I love how you handled this. I would have cracked and confessed and ruined the whole Tooth Fairy gig.

    On a similar note, when my daughter was 3, she was terrified at the thought that Santa was going to come into our house while she was sleeping. “I don’t want a stanger (stranger) in our house!” she would moan, and no amount of explaining that Santa was a sweet guy who loves kids would convince her that this was a horrible idea. Santa had to leave the presents at Grandma and Grandpa’s house for a couple years. lol

  11. Amy says:

    I forgot the tooth fairy this week too. At bedtime my son couldn’t find his tooth bag he always uses, so I suggested we but it in a small tupperware container. He told me that the he thought the container would be too hard for the tooth fairy to open…. turns out he was right. The tooth fairy wrote a very nice note to tell him he was right, she was to weak to open it. Phew the came up with his own excuse :-)

  12. chalica says:

    Oh my gosh I absolutely LOVE how you handled this! My daughter just lost her first tooth last week, so I’ll be sure to remember what you did in case it happens in our house!

  13. lisa says:

    My oldest is still a year or so away from tooth fairy time, but this post reminds me so much of myself I think I’m going to just make my husband in charge of tooth fairly duties. Because I would totally be leaving $10 and an apology note every time.

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