I’ve entered that same phase and I have a year to go. Ever since the theatre/dance department announced next year’s musical (West Side Story) I’ve been a volcano of “Last Time” sobs. That will be E’s last musical! Because next year he will be a senior and I will die.
And to make matters worse…my favorite tv show, Glee (I know! You think it sucks! I know it kinda sucks sometimes! But I still love it.) is sending off some of my favorite characters in graduation this year. And the preview for tonight’s episode has Burt, Kurt’s dad, getting emotional about not being ready for his son to leave. His son who he spent many years alone with being a single parent. DO YOU SEE THE CONNECTION?
Every time I watch that damn commercial I cry my eyes out.
Not only that…but tonight’s episode is the Whitney Houston tribute. I didn’t grow up very culturally aware. We didn’t watch a lot of TV, I didn’t buy a lot of music, and we didn’t see a lot of movies. I didn’t have any teen magazines with NKOTB pictures on my wall. There were a few things that were big in my life for various reasons. Dirty Dancing because – for years – that was the token slumber party movie. Ghost Busters because there was a VHS tape of it at the hospital where my Dad worked that they used to test the VCRs they were repairing. And the Whitney Houston album: Whitney Houston which my Dad had a copy of on cassette. I knew every word to “How Will I Know” and “Greatest Love Of All”. My Dad loved that cassette. Something he loses every right to argue in death, no matter how embarrassing he would find that I was proclaiming that to the world.
So…kids who sing and dance on stage in a graduation episode featuring the music that reminds me of my Dad. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS A RECIPE FOR? Me…sobbing my eyes out for the entire hour. Hell, I was listening to Kurt singing I Have Nothing this weekend and couldn’t even finish it. I was choking up, looking for tissues, all while my husband shook his head in confusion obviously thinking: This is going to be a long year.
Because it is. Remember how that first year after Dad died everything reminded me of him and I wrote about missing him all the time? Well…multiply that by 14 thousand and this upcoming year is basically going to be 15 million blog entries about how E is graduating and I’m going to die of a broken heart when he leaves. Or maybe something a little less dramatic.
So…bring on the Glee graduation-centered episodes with the tearful goodbyes from the parents. It’s a good way to kick of the next year. You are more than welcome to take a break from this blog for a year. At least until May 24th, 2013 at 5:30. That’s when he graduates. I HAD TO WRITE IT ON MY CALENDAR ALREADY. After that point the topic will change to him leaving me for college which will be slight variation of the “My Baby Is Graduating!” emotional roller coaster so…I’d say you’re safe to return some time early 2014. By then I may have gotten my shit together.