The Power Of Beginnings

beginnings

I make fun of myself a LOT because my permanent downfall in trying to lose weight is the idea that – if I screw up a day or a week – I write the rest of the day/week off and just start over the next day/week. I take one misstep as a chance to EAT ALL OF THE THINGS. Sometimes I’ll start over the next day, but most of the time I start over the next Monday.

And as much as I make fun of myself for this – I still do it. Repeatedly. OH! Look! I overate at lunch! Time to binge at dinner! Oh, what the hell – let’s binge until Monday!

But – the better the “beginning” is – the more likely I’m actually going to take advantage of it. DO OVER!

The last month was a bad one for me. I missed a lot of boot camp with sick kids and high school plays. I missed a lot of runs due to high school plays and exhaustion. I ate a lot of shitty food due to stress. I am currently the most I’ve weighed in almost a year, and the downward spiral is officially out of control.

But I knew Monday was coming last week as I succumbed to the stress of a show week. Monday is a new beginning! PLUS – Boot Camp was starting a new session! Another new beginning. And..AND…Lent is starting! And while I may not be a practicing Catholic (or any religion) anymore, it’s still a great beginning! Finally? I decided to delete my old My Fitness Pal account and start a new one. Four beginnings is surely a sign of a good start, right?

GIVE ME ALL OF THE BEGINNINGS!

But seriously…I took this chance with the beginnings aligned…to try to really start over. I know my deepest problem with food is my dependency on it to cope with stress and anxiety. That is what I’m going to focus on, trying to stop the unhealthy stress-eating habits. I’m going to track my food and exercise better. I’m going to try to make better choices.

Basically – I’m going to do the same thing I’ve done EVERY OTHER TIME I’VE STARTED OVER. But this time? I’m doing it with the perfect alignment of New Beginnings to motivate me to be successful. When will all of this align at once again? NEVER! If I don’t succeed now, I might was well binge for the rest of 2013.

Kidding!

But we all know that’s kinda how it works over here.

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3 Responses

  1. Mary says:

    Yeah, that is how it works here too. I have already screwed up February, which is the last full month of winter, so maybe I should just wait to get back on track until the spring. Totally irrational. But totally my way of thinking.

    Why does our relationship with food have to be so HARD? I spend the majority of my time with my therapist every other week talking about food and my motivation for eating it and the irrational beliefs that I hold that cause me to dive into food instead of, say, feeling my feelings and coming up with a plan to process emotions. A big vat of cookie dough just seems so much easier. But man, that stuff turns on you and makes you feel like crap after it’s gone!

  2. Tonya says:

    Hey! You sound so much like me on this it is unbelievable! I use MFP and added you as a friend there, if you don’t mind. I also wanted to mention something that has helped me with using MFP. I make my food diary public. EEK! I know it scared me to death at first because I was like can I really let people know that sometimes I may sit and devour an entire pizza by myself!!! But, I did it, and a few of my friends view it from time to time and commented and now I tell myself the world is watching what you eat, don’t blow it. I have stayed on track the last few weeks trying to eat healthy. Plus others who make their food diary public can help you find low calorie options. Anyway, You got this!!!

    • zoot says:

      Okay – I think I made my stuff public but I’m not certain. It’s a great idea! I also “friended” my husband because – even though he’s doing awesome and I hate him for it – knowing he’ll see my info will probably do wonders to hold me accountable!

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