My brother and his wife have been visiting us for several days and last night we decided to go out and enjoy each other’s company without my children hanging from them every second of the day.

(I can not WAIT until my nephew is old enough to do that to me, for the record. It only makes me crazy when my own kids do it. That’s the joy of being an aunt, you can be entertained by the things that annoy you as a Mom.)

We were going to see a movie but there wasn’t a good consensus about what to see. Donnie suggested Spirited Art which ended up being the BEST IDEA EVER. The class was small so we were really able to enjoy each other’s company and cut up enough that I almost peed in my pants SEVERAL TIMES. Especially when I thought my brother was hiding behind his painting for a minute. He wasn’t, but something aobut that got me so tickled I started snorting I was laughing so hard.

No night out is complete without laughter-induced snorting.

I’m really proud of our paintings. I did three eggs for obvious reasons (I’m a showoff) and while my nest doesn’t look as 3-dimensional as the original, I think it’s damn awesome. And we talked way more than we would have in a movie.

I’m going to be heartbroken to say goodbye to them today. I’m so lucky to be so close to my brother and I’m blessed his wife is just as amazing. We have such a good time together, always full of laughter. It’s just been a great trip and I’ll be counting down the days until we see them again.

Until then…I’ll have my work of art to remind me of them.

Well…we survived our trip to Auburn, AL for my sister-in-law’s graduation. It turns out, THREE is the magic age when traveling gets easier. You don’t have to drag around diapers or diaper bags. They’ll sleep in a bed so you don’t need a pack-n-play. And they can be relatively entertained in the van with a DVD on the drive.

But the most magical part of the trip?

Both directions I let the kids watch a movie and then…AND THEN…after the movie was over I told them to go to sleep. AND THEY DID.

Let me let that sink in for a moment.

I said, “Guys, it’s naptime.” I turned off the DVD player, reclined their seats back a bit, and they both WENT TO SLEEP.

It was like MAGIC.

Meanwhile, I was watching my brother-in-law with my 1-year old nephew as he was trying to keep him safe yet entertained in various non-child friendly places: A hotel, a restaurant, a basketball arena. And the whole time I thought, “How did we survive that?” You just forget how hard it is to have a mobile child who can not be reasoned with.

“No! You can’t chew on the light cord! OR THE HAIRDRYER!”

As awful as age 3 has been overall for the kids, I’m glad it at least allowed us to travel without too many anti-anxiety meds.

I had to go to Home Depot last Saturday. Something I HATE to do. Not going to Home Depot, I don’t mind that so much, it’s the going to Home Depot on a SATURDAY. It’s second it terrible ONLY to Wal-Mart on a Saturday. But I just needed to run in and grab something quick so I thought, Surely I can handle it.

We walked in and the lady at the door said, “Are you all here for the workshop?” Um…no? But then we saw what she was talking about. They had a huge workshop set up with projects for the kids and then they had SANTA there. SANTA!

Evidently they do the workshops the first Saturday of every month. But SANTA! was, of course, new. They gave the kids each their own apron (APRON!) and they built snowmen napkin holders. Probably a project more geared to older kids, but it wasn’t too hard to help them simultaneously. And then? After the projects? SANTA!

Not only that, but since I didn’t have my camera or phone with me (Who knew there would be a photo op in Home Depot?) the employee took pictures and texted them to me!

We will definitely do this again next month. It sounds like all Home Depots do things like this, so you should check out yours. They get a different pin for their apron with every workshop. There were kids there who had dozens of pins! I hope we build up the same collection.

Maybe this will take care of my fear of Home Depot on Saturdays. Or at least of my fear of people wearing orange aprons.

Then we decided to try to buy tickets at the same time, anticipating a rush and wanting a backup in case one of us couldn’t get through. Heather called me and we laughed on the phone a bit while both refreshing Ticketmaster and Starkid ever 2 seconds. I was locked in my office with E on patrol with the kids. Here is his hysterical commentary:

At 5pm sharp they posted the password (PIGFARTS) and she and I immediately both got to trying. I got in and ordered 2 VIP tickets in about 8 seconds. I panicked a bit entering billing information, afraid I’d screw things up. I didn’t! We had our tickets! And I immediately took to Twitter and Facebook to celebrate.

Not only will they be performing music from our favorite shows (You can watch them on YouTube if you’d like.) but they’ll also have Charlene Kaye with them. And she is truly lovely as you’ll see here below:

I’m just VERY VERY VERY excited. VERY. VERY. And I think it’s going to be awesome that this will be the first time Heather and I have met face-to-face. I know today carries it’s own dose of sadness for my friend, I hope our plans for the 20th helped ease that a bit.

Can’t WAIT, Heather!

I woke up, and dressed like this:

And, following AdreAnna’s inspiration, I participated in a Warrior Dash. (SIDENOTE: This is not the first time I’ve been inspired by a blogger to do something crazy. I wrote here about how Pamie inspired me to run a marathon.)

I ended the day looking like this:

In between those two photos I jumped over busted cars. As in, RAN ON TOP OF THEM. ON TOP OF CARS. And then through tires. And then I climbed over chest-high walls and under barbed wire.

Shit just got very real, y’all.

(Let me sidetrack and tell a story: A girl was screaming at me when I was going over the cars. Yelling, “Come on LADIES! FASTER!” to me and another woman. She was trying to be “encouraging” I guess, with her Personal Trainer Vibe/Voice but it irritated me to no end. She continued hollering through the tires. I don’t respond well to that type of “coaching” but I guess she thought she was being helpful. She had a CrossFit Trainer shirt on, so maybe that’s her job. I let her pass me but I caught back up to her at the barbed wire/wall obstacle where she was STRUGGLING because she didn’t want to crawl on her belly under the wires. And she was trying to do it on her butt/back and she was loudly bitching about how this was DANGEROUS. I passed her and never looked back. I saw her finish about 10 minutes after I did. I resisted yelling, “FASTER!!!!”)

There was a mountain of hay to climb, and a solid black tunnel to belly-crawl through. There were downed trees to jump over. There was a horizontal bed of cargo nets raised about 5 feet or so off the ground. I had to climb over that hand over feet.

And there were WALLS. Several walls that had you climb up in some way (Knotted ropes, cargo nets, ladder wrungs…) and then the toughest part for me: Going down on the other side. Every one of those walls had a top that allowed you to see what was on the other side, and what method was there to get you down. I’m scared of heights so every time I contemplated going BACK DOWN the way I came and just running around the wall. EVERY TIME I thought about doing that…basically chickening out. But Donnie was waiting for me and cheering me on, so every time…I just did it. I threw my legs over, fought back tears, and slid down the pole, or the wall, or the net. One time, on an oddly vertical wall I just screamed to Donnie, “WHAT DO I DO?” I was so scared. But I just did it. One foot after another. Down the wall. Every time.

That was the best part of the whole experience; that Donnie was there by my side every step of the way. We weren’t going to run together originally, but I’m so glad we did. He could have gone much faster without me, but he stayed with me so we’d have the shared experience. He waited after every obstacle and high-fived me, pushing me to the next TERRIFYING thing. And we did it all in 42 minutes which I felt like was DAMN FAST. We jumped the fire pits together and we crossed the finish line covered in mud, kissing at the end. As amazing as the whole thing was for me, personally? It was more amazing as a wife to my husband. I think Saturday was the most fun I’ve ever had with my husband. We cheered on our friends, we pushed ourselves beyond our limits, and we came home with viking hats. I think about the whole thing and am grateful for the physical challenge I faced and the fears I overcame, but I was pleasantly surprised by what else it gave me: A wonderful 42 minutes with the man I married, having fun and playing like kids again.

E invited Nikki to go with him Saturday night to see the musical Hairspray at a local high school. That, in an of itself, was worthy enough for me to tell you about it. How awesome is that? He invited his little sister for a night out to an event that would be attended by many of his friends! HE’S SO RAD.

Then…she evidently fell asleep during the show. (It was late!) He ended up having to carry her (She’s almost SIX, she’s not a baby anymore, she’s a CHILD.) out of the theatre and hold her for quite some time while they waited for all of his friends to mingle. He evidently humored himself and his friends by joking about where he could put her down to give his arms a break. LIKE THAT BUSH! That looks sturdy!

(He’s funny too!)

And if that wasn’t enough…her booster car seat came apart from the back (which happens) and his friend had trouble putting it back together so E had to put Nikki down. IN THE GRASS. How hysterical is that? He said he just put her down gently, fixed the car seat, and then picked her back up. She slept through the whole thing.

And finally…on the way home he thought the night was essentially over. But Nikki woke up and had to pee. OF COURSE. He tried to encourage her to wait until they got home since it was 11pm and few things were open. She insisted she couldn’t wait. So what did they do? He pulled over to a Waffle House on the way home and ran her in to go to the bathroom. At 11pm at night. ON A SATURDAY. There could be many scenarios where he would be hanging out there at that same time with his friends, but not that night! That night he was participating in an emergency bathroom break with his 5-year old sister.

They made it home where I was waiting up for them. Nikki was wide awake, of course, and chatted enthusiastically about the parts of the night she remembered. E, on the other hand? WENT TO BED. He’d had a rough night, you know.

(He’s kinda awesome, isn’t he?)

Nikki had a Going Away party for one of the classmates in her classroom this week and Wes was UBER-jealous. I eased his sadness by promising him we’d have a tea party last night after dinner. Which I promptly forgot because I’m totally that Mom. I bribe my kids to get the tears to stop and then immediately forget the bribe.

Lucky for me… they remind me!

So, we had a tea party last night after bathtime! And obviously before we brushed our hair if Nikki is any indication. I even conned E into joining us which wasn’t hard because he’s the best big brother EVER.

Our tea was of the SPRITE variety, of course. And Wes got to pour the tea since the party was for him. They used my tea cups from my collection (What? Didn’t know I had a teacup collection?) and you know what? They haven’t ever been used. What is the point of a teacup collection if you don’t ever put tea (or Sprite) in them? I DON’T KNOW. So the kids drank out of ones last night that – if they had been broken – would not have cause my heart pains. Or at least not SEVERE pains.

But they weren’t broken! Tea party was a total success. We just didn’t have any crumpets to go with our Sprite-Tea. Which is fine since, well, I have no idea what a crumpet is.

THEN…crazy, mumbling, homeless guy showed up at my house and angrily mumbling that I should drive him to the store and flailing his arms at my van when I decline his invitation. My heart was in my throat for several hours after that.

And THEN…to cap off the weirdest several days in history? I almost choked to death at Cracker Barrel last night on a piece of cornbread. FOR REAL. For a few moments I couldn’t breath and E was on the verge of jumping up and trying to save me when my airway finally cleared. And then…once my heart calmed down…I couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that I ALMOST CHOKED TO DEATH ON CORNBREAD. Who in the hell does that?

Needless to say, it’s been a VERY weird week. If I wasn’t anxiously waiting for Harry Potter I’d stay in bed until Sunday for fear the week wasn’t done with me yet.

How about you? Any near-death, 911-related incidents in your week? No? Then maybe I got YOURS.

This is the ONE idea I’ve executed recently that I can not directly credit Pinterest for. I’ve had the idea for awhile after seeing it on some design show. Covering canvas with fabric. I’ve been wanting to do it in the dining room because it is a hard-wood floored room filled with wood furniture. PLUS it seats 8. Do you know what all of that added together creates? Conversational echos. It bugs me slightly and I hoped putting something fabric on the walls would help. It seems to have helped a bit, but not as much as a rug would, I’m sure. The hardest part of this project was finding fabric that would go with the walls AND my brightly colored generic Fiestaware. I think I did a good job!

This serving stand? Totally a Pinterest idea. I’ve been collecting white dishes of various sizes for awhile in hopes to one day have enough place settings of random white dishes that that becomes my “good” china. I think a dining table spread with non-matching but all-white dishes would be GORGEOUS. Anyway, so I have a random collection now that is no where near complete. I thought I could part with a few of the plates from thrifts stores/auctions/donations from friends who know my project. I bought 3 Dollar Store candle sticks ($1 each, of course) and used E6000 glue to attach them. TA-DA! Perfect serving tray for cake poppers and Red/White/Blue strawberries. (Which were also a Pinterest idea.) I’m quite proud of this project and I want to do one some other time in cheap colorful plates and maybe even some melanine Christmas dishes if Target puts some out this year. LOVE THIS PROJECT.

We also went to see the fireworks at a local outdoor shopping area. This shopping area has a great carousel full of fun animals. There’s zebras, lions, tigers, and even a cat with a fish in his mouth. But my favorite? THE SEAHORSE. But I like Nikki ride it because I’m a big girl and understand that fighting my daughter over who gets to ride the seahorse in a crowded celebration would probably not be my most shining parenting moment.

Speaking of shining parenting moments….there was also a balloon artist there who was making “swords” for boys who wanted them. The look on Wes’s face in this picture is the future represents his confusion as the 12-year old him says inside his head, “Hee. This totally does NOT look like a sword. HEE!” The rest of us, of course, stifled giggles and inappropriate jokes all night. And by “rest of us” of course I mean “me.”

Another time the instagram app is useful? When you find yourself somewhere unexpected! Like the Pediatric Emergency Room!

I got the call at work yesterday. You know the one. Parents who work outside the home DREAD them like the PLAGUE. The call…from…DAYCARE. Is it fever? Diarrhea? Disobedience? No! It’s a bloody face from a playground fall! You win some stained crime-scene clothing and a trip to the ER!

When they called, Wes was screaming bloody murder. When I got to school to pick him up? He had one teacher holding ice and rags on his chin, his sister was sitting with her arm wrapped around his shoulders, and he was eating a Pop-Ice. Needless to say…He was doing JUST FINE. Even trying to not to smile as he was being pampered.

We went to the ER and they took great care of him. He was okay with everything until the prep for the stitches. The bandage they wrapped his chin to hold the numbing agent hurt like hell when they pulled it off, and it went downhill from there. The stitches themselves didn’t hurt that bad, I don’t think. He was well-numbed. But it was the cleaning and the covering and the holding down of the arms and the legs that made the ordeal just…AWESOME.

But we lived! And we went back to school after naptime to show off our stitches and Wes was the KING OF THE PLAYGROUND. My first kid with stitches. If it’s the last? I’ll consider us blessed. If it’s not? It’s okay. I learned quickly what the best post-stitches ritual is.

GIANT MEXICAN BEER.