I hate this because the last thing I need 9 days out from my half-marathon is to put on 5lbs of stress weight. Yet here I am, 3lbs up and working my way to the final 2lbs one Nutter Butter at a time.

It sucks because over the last week or so I’ve had several ego-boosting things happen. My husband bragged about me to a triathlon friend; which is the BEST COMPLIMENT EVER. It takes a lot to impress my husband so knowing he bragged on me to someone he trains with? OH MY GOD. I about died.

I’ve also had several boot camp buddies and running buddies give me ego boosts by complimenting me on my fitness level. All of these things normal keep me going in the right direction, but with this crazy stress on top of it all? They just make me depressed on top of stressed and I find myself opening a bag of shredded cheese (WHAT? I told you I’ll binge on anything.) at the open fridge and cramming handfuls in my mouthing thinking I’m not awesome at anything but eating!

Yes. I know. I need help.

But it’s over today! Tonight the performance and dinner will go on with or without my sanity! So I’m hoping today will be a better day. It has to be, I think the only thing left in the fridge for me to eat is a jar of jelly. And while I’ve been known in desperate times to break out a spoon over a jar of blackberry preserves, I don’t think grape jelly is as appealing.

Since I’ve been using WordPress…like for a millions years…to run my blog I’ve simply edited the same theme OVER and OVER again whenever I wanted a new design. I added some nice features over the years but really was never able to embrace all of the cool upgrades to WordPress like Widgets and Menus and Photo Galleries because all of my designs were not Widget Ready or Open To Custom Menus or all of those other limitations holding me back.

SOOOO…I uploaded a theme from a company I’ve bought from before for other projects and Ta-Da! You totally know what happened don’t you? EVERYTHING BROKE. Eh. Not really broke but none of my old stuff is where it used to be because – OH YEAH! – none of my old stuff worked with new fancy WordPress.

What you are seeing now is a very simple design which I LOVE – but none of my old favorite fun stuff on my blog that I used to like. It will probably take me a few weeks to get things all working the way I like them. I have to now find the NEW ways to do the OLD stuff previously on my blog.

In other words? Pardon the mess. Excuse me while I cram all of the dirty clothes into the closet in the hall and hide all of the dirty dishes. Whatever it takes to make this place a little presentable.

In other words? THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

Thank you for your patience.

August 2006 thru March 2007

This was my first few months of stats reported from Sitemeter when I signed up in 2006. I had been blogging since January 2004, but I had only kept up with the stats that came on my server. Since they don’t keep “archive” stats, I decided to sign up at Sitemeter just so I could compare over time. But I’m going to be very honest with you – I don’t look at my stats anymore. I used to. Just like all bloggers I went through phases where I would obsessed over them and critiqued my entries based on how they affected my traffic. And then, one day, I just stopped caring. Maybe because I just was happy with where I was, maybe because I didn’t like what it did to my content. Either way – I swear to all that is holy – I stopped checking my stats.

Every few months I log in just to make sure everything is still working, but other than that? The only gauge I have on my traffic is the comments I get on entries. And while I’ve noticed that declining over the years, I just stopped fretting over it. I felt like I knew the cause anyway. Some of it was that my traffic was only high originally because bigger bloggers than I had linked to me a few times and people started reading me because of the association. However, I’m not as funny or as entertaining as those other bloggers so after awhile, those new readers stopped reading. I knew that, and I wasn’t going to stress over it. I’m well aware I’m not as entertaining as many who link to me, I read those same women daily because they crack me up. I only crack myself up once in awhile.

I also was aware of what many infertile bloggers are aware of, blogging about infertility tends to increase traffic. Women struggling with the same problems seek solace in our stories. Therefore, the Google searches that make my heart hurt (“Multiple Miscarriages,” “Can’t Stay Pregnant,” “Why Does My Uterus Hate Babies?”) – usually lead people to my site. I enjoyed that for awhile, a community of shared struggles. But I knew when I stopped writing about Trying To Conceive or Trying To Stay Pregnant, my traffic would drop. Since I knew the cause of the decline, I didn’t need to put numbers on the actual drop. I was afraid it might depress me. I was happier not knowing.

But – I wanted to prove how little I knew about increasing traffic so I pulled up the past 12 months to compare to the first year on Sitemeter.

March 2009 thru March 2010

First glance it doesn’t look like that huge of a drop. Then you have to pay attention to the TOP of each graph. Sitemeter is kind enough to adjust the range of the graph so that your highest traffic month sets the limit. This is the comparison ADJUSTED to match quantities.

Went from 60K to 20K in 44 months

I’ll be honest. I’m not exactly sure what those numbers on the side mean. Does that include repeat visitors? Spam bots? Unique hits? Who knows. Doesn’t matter anyway because I’m just focusing on the relationship between the two charts. The change. I went from 60K to 20K in 44 months. That’s a HUGE drop. I guess that’s about a 66% decline in traffic over a few years? Aren’t you supposed to go UP in traffic the longer you blog? Heh.

Anyway – my point? I’m happy with my blog. I have never felt more at peace with my online life. I have many good friends and many loyal readers and many times? Those two are one and the same. I get good comments that make me smile and I find new blogs constantly to add to my own Google Reader. After time sometimes I remove blogs that no longer intrigue me, so if people have done that with my RSS feeds? Grown apart from my writings? I’m okay with that. If we just added to the blogs we read and never removed any, we’d all have grown into our desk chairs by now.

Now, if my decline continues and I only have 12 readers over a month in March 2015? Then maybe I’ll rethink my strategy. But for now? I’m completely at peace with where I’m at. And I think – in honor of that? I want us to share some of our favorite “new” blogs we’ve discovered. I’m going to give you a few Newbies (To my Feed Reader, not necessarily to blogging itself) to check out. And then I want you to tell ME about someone new. Try to recommend someone who gets lets than 10 comments on their entries so we can spread the love to people who will notice our affection. These are three from my own Google Reader list that I don’t think I’ve ever linked to before (outside, maybe, my sidebar) – so they’re “new” to you guys. I also probably don’t comment on their sites enough (Because I don’t comment on ANY sites enough) so this makes me feel less stalkerish by linking to them here.

Feet Firmly Planted who has a great photo up right now from a gun shop that made me literally GUFFAW.

Yummy Sushi Pajamas who writes very truthfully about the struggles of motherhood.

Gigglepotamus whose husband I met at a blogger event last year but who also does some amazingly creative projects that make me swoon and want to be adopted by her.

So…who do YOU recommend?

I sit down many times and compose entire entries for the blog…only to delete them and start over. This morning I did one discussing whether other SAHMs feel guilty complaining about their job as a Mom for fear that their spouse may think, “Hey…you CHOSE this. If you don’t like it…get a REAL job.” Then I deleted it because I just didn’t feel like the words really conveyed what I was saying and I worried I sounded like a spoiled bitch. Other times I delete things because I just think: OMG. That is so boring. Then rarely, and I mean rarely because I’m not controversial by nature, I delete something because I don’t want to…start anything.

These are all moments when I realize, Hey. I obviously don’t write this blog just for myself.

I don’t check stats. I don’t look at numbers. I stopped doing that several years ago because I found myself trying to curb my writing in the direction of more traffic. I didn’t like that at all. I keep this blog as a way for me to make friends, and document my family’s history. It’s my cathartic outlet and my social circle. It’s my scrapbook. When I focus too much on numbers, or even focus at all on numbers, I lose the organic feeling of this environment.

Yet still…I delete entries. I think that’s because this is my social circle. I don’t want to disrupt it with something that has the wrong voice, or the wrong message. You are all my friends and if I can’t get my thoughts out in a way that makes sense without boring you to death…then I delete it. And I’m okay with that. It’s just something interesting I thought about this morning. Some entries I just stick in draft mode because I do want to write them some day. But often? I just delete. I feel like the message is off from the first word to the last. Or, I feel like it’s something I wont feel in a few days so why stir the pot now?

But – it got me thinking – so many of you are bloggers. Do you ever delete entries? I’ve even been known to publish something and then take it down a few hours later after letting it sink in because, Crap. That entry does not actually say what I was trying to say. I’m betting hardly anyone goes that far. I just find it funny that I don’t look at my stats, my referrals, my visitor numbers: Yet I censor myself. In my head, the only people reading this are the dozen or so that comment. Why do I worry so much about what you guys think? Most of you know me well enough to read between the lines anyway. Or to just skip over a really boring topic and come back tomorrow. Yet still? I delete. And I’m wondering if you do that. Do you get something written and then delete it, or take it down later? Why? Is there anyone who truly writes their blog just for themselves? Because even if you all stopped reading I would be writing for my family. And I don’t want to bore them either. (Although I often do, they’ll attest to that.)

So: What is your DELETE policy on blog entries? Do you ever delete something you’ve finished writing (or come very close)? Or do you just stick it in your draft folder? Do you publish everything you put even a portion of effort into?

I wanted to create a page that would give a first-timer a decent thumbnail picture of who I am and what this blog is like. However, I had a hard time deciding what was important to tell about myself. Well, that’s not exactly true, I had a hard time deciding what was important without writing a novel. My first draft would have printed to be about 50 pages long. I ended up having to debate with myself over what was About Me Page Worthy and what wasn’t. But it’s important everyone knows I have three tattoos and what each of them are! No, it’s not. What about the fact that I don’t like making left turns? Still unimportant. And after reading your blog for a week they’re bound to hear you mention it at least once. It’s a staple of yours. Well then I really must tell them about my addiction to office supplies. Why? Because knowing you’re a pen snob is necessary when reading your day-to-day writings? I don’t think so.

I think there is something to having an About page that never changes. I’ve read Dooce’s About page 100 times. I have no idea why, because it really doesn’t ever change. Maybe I find that comforting? I know that part of me tries with every About Me page rebirth to create a page that is timeless. Then I remember I get bored too easily and I need an excuse to change it because I would change it every few years EITHER WAY. Timeless or not.

So, timeless and never changing About Me pages? Not for me.

I think Miss-Britt’s About Page was the one I liked the most when I scoured my blog list for ideas. I like the voice of it and the conciseness of the information. Just a simple but well-written About page. One that puts my final product to shame because OH MY GOD…it’s still way too long. I just couldn’t condense it any more! It’s all very important information! The world must know about my obsession with wizards and vampires! THEY MUST!

Anyway…it’s done. I even updated NikkiZ’s age this morning to account for her being FOUR now. (eek.) And suddenly it occurred to me, maybe I should have written an entry about this first to see what other people think about their own or other blogger’s About pages? THAT would have been GENIUS.

Well, better late than never, right? Your answers may make me totally re-write my page all over again, and I’m okay with that. Feel free to answer any or all of these questions. Also feel free to post a link to your own About Me page, I’d love to check it out!

Do you read About pages on blogs? Am I the only one who does that?

If you do – what do you look for? Is there ever anything consistently missing you wish people would include? Like alias origins or URL background?

Do you have an About page on your own blog? Did you sweat over it like I did or am I a huge dork?

If you do – how often do you change yours? Is it timeless or do you get bored?

(Hee. Love the overly-dramatic blog metaphors.)

I thought I’d share with you guys some of the ways I revived my blogself in case you find your blog in the same place. Of course, I’m no professional on blog advice, but these are a few things that worked for me.

• Don’t write. (What? Seems contradictory?) For one night, instead of writing…cruise blogs. Start with a familiar one and start linking to others from there. Read entries everywhere you go. Click through links in the comments of the blog (because that will take you to other active bloggers) and try to choose ones you don’t normally read. Seeing new blogs, no matter how off-topic they are from your own, will open your mind to new blog topics. This will inspire many topics for your own blog, I guarantee it. Even if that topic is, “Why I Don’t Blog About _______.”
• Continue the conversation on your own blog! I started emailing myself links from blog entries or articles around the web that I thought would give me good blog topics. Example? I emailed myself Marilyn’s entry linked above. Sometimes you read something and feel like you could respond with more than just a comment – but you don’t have time at that moment. Email it to yourself. Then, when you do have time, it will be there waiting in your inbox.
• Carry a notebook around. Or maybe a piece of paper. Something small so that when that idea pops in your head throughout the day, you can jot it down. Sometimes, just the fact that we have something to document an idea with, aids in the idea being born. It will have you looking at things with wider eyes, scanning your experience for blog ideas. I’ve been amazed at how many more interesting things I observe now that the back of my mind is waiting for blog material. For example: There are THREE fire hydrants on my street between my house and the end of the road. About .8 miles. THREE. And I never noticed them before. WEIRD. Look on your street today…how many do you see?
• Dig through your archives. Just sit down one afternoon and dig through some of your older entries. You’ll be amazed how inspiring it is because you’ll be reminded that it’s important you write. You’ll need those words later. Either to make you laugh. Or to make you cry. Or maybe just to make you wonder, “What in the hell was I thinking?”
• Remember…unless you’re really trying to make money…this should always be simply: FUN. If it’s stressing you out maybe you need a break. If it’s not bringing you joy, why do you do it? There’s nothing that says you HAVE to do it. Some of the best relationships I’ve made blogging are with someone who no longer blogs. They don’t disappear, they just stopped blogging. No big deal. But remember, if you stop or take a break, backup your blog. You might want to start back and you don’t want to lose all of that hard work. The world would be a smaller place without entries documenting our stupid moments don’t you think?

I’m using this rainy weekend to update the design at my blog. Don’t leave the feed reader, however. It’s not that exciting. When it’s all working I’ll post a screen capture so that if you read from a feed reader you can still see what the design looks like. I don’t like to force anyone away from the comfort of their RSS feeds. Unless I can offer them donuts.

Finally today I submitted a ticket with my host in the hopes they could help me. After much back and forth (They kept insisting that it had to do with my Spam Assassin. NO. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.) it suddenly started worked. When I asked what happened this was the response:

A recent cPanel upgrade has blocked the mails that is generated from the scripts, that was implemented by cPanel for added security. This has been corrected now. Let us know if you need any further assistance.

So, for those of you who are googling any of the same things I was last night like:

no comment verification
Wordpess no longer emailing me about comments
my blog is suddenly possessed by satan and PISSING ME OFF

Then you maybe will find you way here and know what to do: Ask your host if there has been a recent cPanel upgrade. And then buy beer.

The end.

Turns out some malicious code had been inserted into one of my recent WordPress entries. How they did that – I have no idea. I have changed all passwords and upgraded the the latest copy of WordPress to keep it from happening again. But, I thought I’d share with you how I found the code.

One of the articles someone sent me mentioned the term “iframe” as a way to identify this type of malicious code. I loaded up my blog and then did a “Ctrl+U” to view the source of the page. Then I did a “Ctrl+f” to search the page for the phrase “iframe”. I found the line of code you see in the below picture.

Oddly enough, it was inside an entry I had written recently. When I went back to my WordPress dashboard and went to edit that entry, I found that line of code inside of the entry. I have no idea how it got there but I removed it immediately. I am hoping this solved the problem (I did a database search for similar results and found nothing else) but more importantly – I wanted to help others who may have been as lost as I was to hear their website was triggering virus alerts.

So…if you get an email from someone saying your website turned on their virus alerts or gave them some sort of “Malicious Code!” warnings – do a search for the term “iframe” and hope you don’t find anything.

Stupid hacking bastards. Why can’t they leave a boring Mommy Blogger like me alone? Bah.

My blog doesn’t have a concrete birthday because I was dumb and never thought something like that would seem important. Mainly because I had started blogs 100 times under 100 different names starting some time in 1999. When I started this incarnation sometime in January 2004, I didn’t know for sure it would be any different. That it would actually stick. So why make a point to remember the date?

Of course – I could have made it easy by keeping all of my entries from Typepad when I moved to my own domain (which wasn’t actually misszoot.com, if you can believe it). I didn’t realize an “export” function existed so I just marked a few of my faves to copy and paste when I moved away from Typepad. So, when I “launched” my blog at it’s own domain (a domain I won’t tell you because it is now a link that is NOT safe for work) I did so with just a few entries to fill in the previous months.

Long story short? I’ve been doing this thing for almost exactly five years now. FIVE YEARS. But a lot of the first few months disappeared into cyberspace. Just trust me when I tell you – you didn’t miss much.

In those five years I’ve changed domains and blogging platforms. I’ve gone from having skins (where YOU could choose what design to see every time you came here) to having only one design that everyone had to use. I’ve changed that design 900 million times, including to an all-Harry Potter theme to celebrate book 7′s release. This site has changed so many times I have forgotten more of the designs than I can remember. (Although I do remember I had a sushi one for awhile…Sushi? Really?) I’m still doing my own designs and coding for my blog, but am no longer doing it for the entire internet. (For those of you who who don’t remember, I used to offer free blog designs. Back before I had two small children.) I just can’t believe how much this place has changed in the last five years.

But mostly? I can’t believe how much of my life is documented here. I started trying to dig back in the past to find some of the biggest entries over the last five years, but I ended up getting lost in my own archives. Finding those moments that might not mean a lot to you, but mean a lot to me. Which, I guess, is kinda the point.

So, as a commemoration to such a crazy milestone, I offer you this fantastic picture of my son’s new favorite face to make when he’s eating.

Because nothing says what five years of blogging can do for you like that face covered in sweet potatoes.