Remember when I complained about how Wordpress was being pushy with me? Wanting me to upgrade before I was ready and NOT LEAVING ME THE HELL ALONE ABOUT IT? Well, turns out that it’s not just me. Lauren emailed me to say that when she is logged into my site as a user, she sees the message to the left. If you can’t read it, it says, “A new version of Wordpress is available! Please notify the site administrator.” So, Wordpress is also pushing some of you guys around, huh? Sorry about that.

But…I still haven’t upgraded. However, now I’m seriously thinking about it. I’ve stopped using a lot of plugins recently that have been reportedly causing problems, but I’m just not sure I’m ready. This version is supposedly quite different and I’m quite old and set in my ways. I don’t even use the Rich Text Editor when I write my blog entries and it’s been available for years now, I think.

So, for now, I’m going to keep using this 2.3.3 version, even though my dashboard keeps reminding me it’s “Out of date.” I mean - I’m still wearing scrunchies in my hair and those things went out of style sometime in the 90s. I figure as long as I’m still only one upgrade behind, I’m okay. I mean - it’s not like I’m wearing a banana clip in my hair, right?

Edited to Add: Okay. Emily scared me into updating b/c my site has already been hacked with a few WP security issues in the past. (Sidenote: Thank you to everyone who emails me when they see adds showing up in my entries. I DONT HAVE ADS.) She sent me here and I braved the upgrade. I’ll let you know if I hate myself for it later.

In my youth, I hung out with crowds that partied. I might have even done some partying myself. There was sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. I always participated on the edges of the activity, never quite jumping in full-throttle. So, when life led me in another direction, it was no big deal for me to leave that all behind.

But I often saw my friends deep in the muddle of that existence and wondered if they realized how over their heads they were. Did they know how no aspect of their life existed without the drugs or alcohol? Did they see how that - if they wanted to simply stop - their whole lives would have to change? That the drugs and alcohol were so entwined with their existence that removing it would mean they’d have to rebuild everything? DID THEY SEE THAT?

I’ve been thinking about those friends a lot lately, as many of my internet friends leave their blogs in the dust. Women I’ve been reading for years suddenly decide the internet is too interwoven in their lives and that they can’t just stop blogging, they have to stop it ALL. They write about being torn about the decision and that the struggle itself is a sign of how much they need to step away. On different levels they all decide that the internet, their blogs, this cyber existence has become too much a part of their real lives and that the only way to reclaim that real life is to remove the internet one all together.

And now I find myself wondering, am I like my friends many moons ago? Do I not see the same type of negativity with the existence I’m living online as it relates to my family? I mean - I’ll admit - I couldn’t quit. PERIOD. I depend on my internet friends, my blog, my flickr community to sustain me. I couldn’t just quit, so does that mean I’m just blind? Like my boozing friends of the past? Do I just not see how some of this is bad?

Because I’m starting to wonder why I have never, ever, had the desire to just quit. It seems like there are so many people who toss the possibility around often. Some never quit, some do, but it seems like everyone thinks about it. At least once in awhile.

But not me.

So, either I’ve somehow created an online life that compliments my real life in a way that creates hardly any negative side effects - OR - I’m completely blind to the addiction and it’s negative effects on my life and need an intervention.

What do you think about this exodus of bloggers? Do you find yourself considering the same type of exit? Or are you like me and find yourself feeling a tad bit like the addict who just says, “I could quit if I wanted, I just don’t want to.” Because honestly? There’s not a lot I’d rather do less than quit blogging. Except maybe laundry. I’m really not in the mood to do laundry today.

Okay. I use Wordpress to power this awesome blog before you, right? I made the big switch about 1 1/2 years ago from MT and I’ve not regretted it once. I truly love Wordpress with all of my heart and would tongue-kiss it to show my appreciation if I wasn’t a married woman. My husband frowns on extra-marital technology make out sessions. I learned that the hard way when I tried to seduce flickr. We had to go to counseling.

So…Wordpress rocks. Right? That has been established.

However, I need to make one complaint. I feel like Wordpress has gotten a little bit pushy after the last few upgrades.

Several versions ago, Wordpress got smart enough to tell me when there’s a new version out. However, I do not like upgrading as soon as the new release is out. I like to wait a bit and find out if anyone has problems or if there are bugs. I like to take my time with an upgrade. Consider all my options and weigh the pros and cons. This upgrade to 2.5 is a BIGGIE and I am even more hesitant than usual. So - why can’t I make that message go away? Why can’t I say, “Not right now, Wordpress. I have a headache.”

Every time I log into my blog, I see the same message. Please update now. Bolded and underlined. I mean, even though my blog says “Please” - I still feel like I’m being yelled at. I don’t like it. I want a small little “x” next to the message that allows me to say, “Yes. I heard you. I will remember that you told me this but I would like to not have to see it EVERY TIME I OPEN MY DASHBOARD.”

Edited to Add:
Hey! Now twitter is getting pushy with me. I found this new little message waiting for me when I pulled up my update page. Telling me to add my twitter updates to my site. My updates are already on my site! Look, twitter! On my sidebar, at the top, under “tweeting” - I already have my updates there! Don’t you believe me? I promise they’re there! I want twitter to know that so the little message with the exclamation point (Don’t Yell At Me!) will go away. Will someone vouch for me and tell twitter I’ve already added my updates to my site? And it can leave me alone now?

Why must my web tools be so demanding? And why won’t they give me a way to politely decline their orders? JUST SAY NO!

Man. I suddenly feel like I really need to get a life.

If you’ve been to my site today you’ll notice a new color scheme going on. Hopefully you’ll like it. You’ll also notice I moved my twitter updates from the bottom of the page to the top of my sidebar. I’ve been a Twitter’er for almost two years now, but I’m just recently getting into it as it seems everyone else is now using it too. And it’s much more fun when there’s a lot of people to tweet with. It’s coined as “Microblogging” at times because it’s essentially 140 character-count blog entries. I’m proud I can converse in such small tidbits.

However - it’s also very weird. And I’m very aware of that. I look at those updates and think, “Um. If someone doesn’t use twitter, that just looks plain weird.”

So - just a rundown. If you see an @SOINSO @SOANDSO (duh) in the message, that means I’m replying to someone. If you use that syntax your reply shows up in their updates. If you want to see who I’m replying to, click the time stamp of the tweet and it will take you to a screen that provides a link to that person’s Twitter page. And please, if you use twitter, follow me and I’ll reciprocate. But - if I don’t? Email me to remind me. Sometimes the Twitter Following notices get shoved off with the spam and I miss them.

After reading the awesome feedback from this entry I have been working on a separate one to declare my intentions and my goals as a blogger. I started with a silly little comment policy and this is now my Blogging Manifesto. It was mainly an exercise to force myself to really think about what I’ve built here in the last four years and what I hope it to be to outsiders.

I really don’t think any of this is necessary, I kinda just like the using the word manifesto. It’s one I can’t figure out how to work into my daily conversations, so killing it on my blog will have to do.

I Will Promote Kindness and Joy With My Words
Man. There are a lot of bitter and angry writers in the world. Did you know that? I am not one of them. This may make me boring to read, but it also makes this site a place of warmth that has become my own personal shelter over the last four years. Even if I’m having a bad day and blog about something bringing me down, the commenters pick up the slack and spread the love and joy while I can not. I will do everything I can to focus on the positive in my life so that people who stumble by here might find something that makes them smile. Even if it’s just me talking about boob sweat.

I Will Do My Best Not To Feed My Ego By Knocking You Down
I’m insecure. And like a lot of insecure people - I’ve been known to gossip/badmouth others behind their back to make myself feel better. While I’m sure I’ll still do this with my dearest friends (I’m no angel) - I will not use my blog as a place to hurt others. Even celebrities that really seem to be asking for it. But especially not other bloggers. This cyber-community is too important for me to devalue it just to make myself feel better about gaining 10lbs.

I Will Assume Everyone I Write About Reads My Blog
I will not write anything I would hate for someone to one day find. If I’m not comfortable with them finding it - I will not write it. Period. This is not self-censorship, this is simply me avoiding drama and negativity in my life. I don’t want my blog to hurt anyone, just like I don’t want my spoken word to hurt anyone. Some may consider this to be spineless - I just consider this my way of treating others how I would like to be treated. Unless they say something bad about my hair. Then I’m totally taking them down.

I Will Try To Visit A Few New Blogs Every Week
While some of my entries only get a handful of comments, others get 50+. I can’t follow every URL left by every commenter. However, I will try to make a point to follow a blogger to their site when they say something especially insightful or funny. Or maybe just because they smell nice. Either way - I will try to comment on a few new sites every week. I have been notoriously bad about commenting because I over-analyze the words I write other sites until I opt out and just don’t say anything. I am trying to change that about myself so I can continue to spread the comment love that is so kindly given to me.

I Will Not Feed The Trolls
If someone is ugly in my comments section or in an email, I will not call them out or link to them directly. I may write about the issue in a vague sense, but I will not give them the spotlight. More than often - I will simply ignore them. I may grumble and mumble about them to my blog friends, but I will not use my blog as a way to rally the troops against someone I don’t know.

I Will Give People The Benefit of the Doubt. Once.
If someone leaves a nasty comment or sends a nasty email, I will try to understand that sometimes we all have bad days and will do my best not to derive all of my opinions on someone based on one comment, blog entry, or email. However, if the asshole returns a second time? I’m totally making a VooDoo doll of them and letting my dogs poop on it in the yard.

I Will Remember That I Can Always Learn From Others, Now Matter How Different They May Seem
We are not all the same. You may be a practicing Catholic while I left the church years ago. You may be a Pro-Life Conservative while I’m a Pro-Choice Liberal. You may think Diet Coke sucks. I will not let any of these differences blind me to the wisdoms you may share. Just because you think The Amazing Race is a stupid show, doesn’t mean you can’t help me learn how to cook. We can all learn something from each other, and I will try not to let our differences make me forget that.

I Will Always Try To Find A Gentle Way To Express Disagreement
If I disagree with something you are saying on your own blog - or even in the comments of my own - I will find a kind and gentle way to express that. The best phrase in the world is, “This is what works for me…” and I will use that instead of, “Your way is stupid - use mine instead” whenever possible.

I Will Apologize If Necessary
Sometimes I will screw up. Most of the times this is because I react emotionally to something before letting it simmer. When this happens, I will have the courage to admit my error and apologize. And I will forgive myself because no one is perfect. Although I come pretty damn close.

I Will Try To Use This Blog For Good, Not Evil
As often as I can without taxing my audience, I will try to use this platform as a way to help my community. I’ve supported causes like MDA and the American Heart Association. I also try to promote the charities other bloggers are trying to help. I am not sure why people come here as often as they do (it’s definitely not the cooking) but I will use that gift to help whenever I can.

I Will Not Take This Site Too Seriously
This is just a blog. It is my blog and it is very special to me, but it’s still a blog. Just because I sometimes write about serious things, like pregnancy loss or parenting struggles, it doesn’t mean I can’t also write about how much I love Cadbury Cream Eggs. Periodically this blog may need a dose of silly — at which time I’ll post a picture of my dogs humping each other. Or maybe I’ll talk about how hard it is not to pee on yourself instead of the cup at the doctor’s office when you’re pregnant.

Because trust me - it’s impossible.