Category: Grief

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5 Years.

5 years ago today – my Dad died after a late-stage cancer diagnosis and 5 weeks in hospice care. It was a seemingly fast death, considering it was from cancer. The diagnosis had just been a few weeks before he went into hospice. This was the eulogy I read at his funeral and I share it out every year on the anniversary of his death. I was blessed to have had him for the 62 years, and I’m grateful for that, but what I wouldn’t give to have just one more day with him. I miss him so dearly. Eulogy:...

Nice Shirt, Dad 11

Cataloging The Memories

Preface: I’ve been adding to this for a few days, but right now I’m on a bunch of cold medicine and exhausted from a lack of sleep. I apologize for any major typos or grammatical errors. This is the type of entry that’s hard to proof even when I’m feeling well, but when I’m tired and sickly, I just would rather not have to re-read this 100 times. This time every year I find myself thinking tons about Dad. On February 10th, 2009, he was hospitalized with renal failure. He died 7 weeks later. I wrote a little bit here...

Thinking of You 5

Thinking of You

It’s 5:24am on Christmas morning. We’ve put the final touches on Christmas and now Donnie and I just wait until the kid’s wake up. This is how Christmas works when Mom and Dad wake up before 5am on a normal morning. I’m taking this quiet time to think of all of my friends who have lost loved ones this year. I have three friends who lost their Moms in 2013 and I’m trying my best to send them warmth this Christmas morning to try to dull the ache of loss that will outline the day for them. If you know...

The dessert he chose at Dessert Theatre last night. 14

What Should Have Been

Tonight is Dessert Theatre at E’s school. It’s a fun and casual performance done while eating baked goods and ice cream. I love it – it’s always the funniest show of the year. But this year? It’s tainted a bit for me. Because I shouldn’t be there. Over the summer, when I found out I was pregnant and they gave me my due date, I remember looking at the calendar and thinking…doubt I’ll feel up for dessert theatre since I’ll have just had a baby. I sat there with Wes last night and felt a bit sad that I wasn’t...

I'm certain you would have stolen this off my fridge to hang in your office at work. 11

Dear Dad,

I’ve been really tired for over a week now, and that makes me super-emotional and weepy. Sad things are happening all over the place, which doesn’t help at all because I tend to feel what the world around me feels. So, my choice of sad topics predominant in my life are: 1) Missing You 2) My baby going off to college next year I’ve decided to focus on missing you, Dad. Because I’m still in denial about E leaving me. I spent some time in December with your new grandson. I so wish you could have met him. And of...