I was going to do a thought provoking post about the fact that we’re heading down to Florida tonight for the run I’m doing in memory of my Dad. We’re making half of the trip tonight after LilZ gets out of rehearsal and then the second half in the morning. We approached MrZ’s parents a few months ago about leaving AndyZ here with them since A) He is too young to remember any of it and B) He HATES the car so an 11-hour car ride could kill us all. They agreed so we’ll be leaving him behind for almost a week. While it will be sad not to have him with us, I think the trip will go better for everyone else without having to worry about diaper changes, naptimes, and car-induced demonic behavior.

The reason I can’t do anything too thought provoking about what this run means to my grief over missing Dad is because the child we’re leaving for a week? Decided he wanted to cram in as much time with me as possible by waking up at 2am. FOR THE DAY. It is now 4:17am and I’ve officially given up trying to get him back to sleep. I tried several things including finally getting him to sleep in my arms on the couch for the second time (the first time ended when I tried to put him in his crib) and opting to just put the couches together to make him a temporary crib. He slept there for about 20 minutes. And then he woke up. Again. So I’m not fighting it anymore and am embracing the situation by going ahead and brewing that pot of coffee I normally don’t start on until after 5am. I think waking up at 2am for the day justifies two pots of coffee, don’t you think?

Maybe I’ll do something thought-provoking tomorrow. In the meantime – enjoy this picture of my child before he became the devil.

I’ve not blogged for four days, let me tell you why. Although, maybe I should warn you that each reason has a shred of truth to it, and possibly a shred of of exaggeration mixed in for entertainment purposes. You may be able to spot the bit of untruth, you may not. Just thought I’d warn you before you panic about the state of my sanity.

• LilZ turns 15 on Thursday. I have spent the last four days locked up in my bedroom drinking to cope. Hard to blog when you’re drunk.
• We are about to start the final major home renovation project before selling our house. The master bedroom and closet re-do. For now we have to move everything out of the closet and into the bedroom. The bedroom which is already full of crap. I have spent the last four days locked up in my bedroom drinking to cope.
• NikkiZ has suddenly adopted a ridiculously bitchy teenage attitude requiring us to start some strict response/discipline to nip this in the bud. Example: When she throws out mean attitude to her brother we make her wear pants which is a fate worse than death to a girl who loves skirts/dresses. This makes her cry a lot. I have spent the last four days locked up in my bedroom drinking to cope.
• We have an official auction date now for Dad’s house. My Dad bought the house for less than 15K in 1976. It’s in such bad shape now there’s a chance we won’t even get that much for it now. I have spent the last four days locked up in my bedroom drinking to cope.
• AndyZ has decided he can live on one nap per day, and it only needs to last about an hour. Can you guess how I’ve been coping for the last four days?

Yesterday’s suggestions were great. I am going to try out a bunch of the aps you suggested but I think my best bet is to do what Cara suggested and just keep my inbox as my To Do list. In theory, that’s what I’ve always wanted it to be. Unfortunately, I never force myself to sit down and go through it. Basically, it’s a To Do list that I never look at. That’s useful. So, since I’m already of doing that anyway, I’m going to force myself to sit down one hour every day with my email and go through it. If it takes more than an hour a day? Then there is something wrong and I need to start cutting out some of my responsibilities. (Sometimes I do wonder if I try to do too much and that’s why I’m forgetful.)

As a baby step I took about an hour working through my inbox yesterday afternoon. Hence some of the weird and very late emails some of you may have gotten from me. Now, I’ve not been keeping emails in my inbox consistently since I got the iPhone because it is so easy to accidentally delete them. (The one thing I HATE about the iPhone.) But it’s a start. And then…last night…I evidently felt the need to prove in real time what I was talking about in my blog entry. Try to keep up, it’s a bumping road of screw ups I’m asking you to follow.

First…I spent every minute after 3:10 waiting for my phone to ring as LilZ was going to let me know when auditions were over and to come pick him up. At least – that’s what I thought was going to happen. (Foreshadowing!) So, I got NikkiZ ready for her soccer game a little early just in case he called. He didn’t. We went to the game where I promptly realized I put my daughter in the wrong jersey. Lucky, the coach had a spare. Then, LilZ calls me and says, “Um. Where are you? Did you forget about me? You were supposed to pick me up at 5:30.” Wow. Evidently I misunderstood or just didn’t listen properly. I rushed from the game to go pick him up feeling a little crappy as he had to walk to a gas station to call me when he finally gave up on me showing up. After the game we are pulling out of the parking lot and I realize…SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I forgot Lauren. Lauren is my BFFs daughter who I often pick up when I pick up LilZ. She might as well be one of my own kids as I love her like I do them. This is not like forgetting some random kid who happens to live in your neighborhood…this girl is like a daughter to me. AND I FORGOT HER. I felt like the worst adopted mother EVER. So…I rushed over to the coffee shop she hangs out in while LilZ does his after school stuff and begged for her forgiveness. She was awesome (of course) and not really worried, BUT STILL. Fast-forward to about 2am when I jump out of bed saying, “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” I realized, in the chaos after the game, that I never dropped of the CD at Sarah’s house last night. She lives near where NikkiZ plays soccer so I was going to just drop it by after the game. It is actually sitting in my car on the console between the two front seats. AND I STILL FORGOT.

The moral of the story? Yesterday’s entry was not an exaggeration. I didn’t hype my forgetfulness for the sake of NaBloPoMo. So…when I say thank you for your suggestions…I MEAN IT. Because I evidently need it just to remember not to leave teenagers waiting around town for me. JEEZUS.

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Don’t forget that I’m entering all donors thru Sunday into a drawing to win an iFlip. So far I’ve only had about 10 donors this week so your chances are VERY good! You can donate $5 if you want but still win an iFlip! How awesome would that be? I’m actually only about $800 from my initial goal. After I reach that I’ll have one more BIG giveaway where I’ll entered in everyone’s name who donated AGAIN for a final drawing. So…you could win something else SUPER awesome and mysterious! Go ahead…DONATE! What are you waiting for?

Sometimes it sucks to be little.

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Finally…I’m looking for some cute ideas for Thanksgiving projects to do with the kids. I’m wanting to do some neat nametags for the table, maybe some placemats, maybe just some general decorations. Do you have any suggestions? My new domestic tendencies are not confined to the kitchen when I’m unemployed, I’m also quite diligent with a gluestick!

Do you ever have those days where you realize Oh, crap! I forgot to ____________. And then, as you’re thinking about the consequences of that forgetfulness, suddenly your mind starts working through other things on random subconscious To Do lists. And, of course, you start remembering certain other things you maybe dropped the ball on recently that you had forgotten about until that very moment. Chances are none of these things are Top Priority or they would have made it on some familial calendar or something, but either way they are things you meant to do and didn’t. By the time the day is over you feel like total ass because you’ve left at least 42 people hanging in the last few weeks and you just realized it today. Does that ever happen to you?

Oh. Just me then? Ok.

(Brit, so sorry I totally spaced guest posting on your blog. Sarah, so sorry I forgot to get back to you about lunch yesterday.)

I try my best to stay organized but sometimes? 42 things fall through the cracks and it’s either because it’s in the form of an email I check on my phone somewhere away from a pad of paper or pen, or because one of my kids was screaming at that moment. Or because I had a little too much fun in my younger years and it’s coming back to haunt me. Either way, every few months I have a day where it occurs to me that maybe I need a new system of organization. Or a new memory technique. Or possibly a spare brain to hold in the reserves somewhere on the days where I’m really spaced out and forgetful.

A lot of my recent bought of forgetfullness can be blamed on my stupid iPhone. (You’re not stupid! I love you!) It gives me the ability to check my email in line at the grocery store, or when I’m waiting to pick up LilZ from rehearsal, or even while trying on clothes at the mall. This is awesome in that I can stay in contact with the world during random bits of free time throughout the day. This is NOT awesome because if it’s an email I need to make a special note about, or remember to respond to, it gets filed in my brain somewhere at that moment for later. This temporary filing system is not as good as the one I use when sitting at my desk. My brain is ready for mental notes then. When I’m looking for soups at Publix and I get an email about something I need to remember later? I will probably only actually remember it the next time I got to get that soup out of my pantry.

Other times I can simply blame it on your general forgetfulness. I remind myself, You’re much better than you used to be! And I am. But still – not awesome. Forgetting something is not as rare as I’d like it to be. I know – as mothers – we all tend to have a lot on our plates. Rehearsal schedules, auditions, soccer games, playdates, permission slips, crafts supplies for school, and most importantly: movie premieres. And the big stuff that relates to other people in my family – those things always get a higher priority on my THINGS TO REMEMBER list. I only seem to forget the stuff that is personal to me. Which is awesome for my family, but makes me kinda want to punch myself in the face.

So – how do you do it? How do you remember deadlines for work, training schedules, fundraising deadlines and lunch dates? I don’t think I’m doing Too Much, because I still have plenty of time to goof off throughout the day. I just think I’m needing a better way to Remember. Maybe I should try to “Keep As UnRead” emails I see important on my phone so that I’ll read them again at my desk. (Can I even do that on my phone?) Maybe I should try to say things out loud when they first pop into my head. I swear that would help except for when I’m too embarrassed to say, “Reschedule gynecological exam!” in the waiting room of the service department at my dealership. (Although I’m certain to remember to do it!) Do you carry a pen and paper To Do list everywhere? Sometimes I feel like that’s the keep. The phone is great for many things but I’ve not felt like keeping To Do lists on it yet. I’m still better with pen and paper there. Do you leave yourself voicemails? Do you just do things immediately? I often think that would solve the majority of my problems if I would just do things at the moment they occur to me (when possible) but often I don’t feel like it. WAH!

Or maybe I should just have a disclaimer tattooed to my forehead. Hi! I’m forgetful! Be forewarned!

At family dinner last Sunday. Post-dinner naptime.

I’ve found a new technique for keeping me on my diet. It’s called Mind-Numbing Pain in the Wisdom Teeth Area. And let me tell you, if yesterday is any indication? It’s a miracle worker. I at two flat bread sandwiches and a spoonful of potato salad and I had to force all of that down. The pain is so great that I was going through phases of crying fits all day. Sometimes the pain would subside for a bit and I’d be able to function: Go grocery shopping, mow the grass, take a bath. But most of the day? Pain like I have never known before. But…silver lining: Diet! So much pain I can’t bear to eat! Yay!

The other silver lining? The tooth pain is so severe that I’m not even thinking about my monthly visitor. Which, if you suffer from endometriosis and have the crippling cramps that come along for the fun of it – you know it’s impossible to forget when it’s that wonderful time of month. But I’m spending so much time thinking about the pain in my jaw that I can’t even think about my uterus! Best. Period. EVER.

So today – I may call the doctor and ask for meds. I’ve done everything from putting heating pads on my face to sleeping on top of ice packs. I’ve taken every over-the-counter pain medication I can find and I’ve down bottles of orajel. I can only achieve numbing the pain to levels where the tears stop…but nothing even remotely close to NORMAL. I’m thinking they need to give me something to hold me over until the postponed procedure date of Tuesday. Otherwise I won’t sleep or eat for the next five days and the next silver lining you’ll hear is, “Yay! I’ve been committed to a mental facility and the drugs they’re giving me help sooth my gum pain!”

The thing is? I hate asking for pain medication. I struggled with it after Wesley was born when they were only giving me prescription strength Ibuprofen. It took MrZ begging for me to finally ask the nurse for something a little stronger. I’m always afraid when I ask that the immediate thought is that I’m lying. So, then I go into Proof Overdrive…where I explain exactly how bad I’m hurting in detail. Which, I’m fairly certain, makes me sound more like an addict if I just left it at, “It’s a 10 on a scale of 1-10.” But – I can’t do this for another four days. I’m yelling at my kids for no reason, I’m slacking on my To Do list and I’m crying…a lot. I’m miserable and bringing everyone around me down with me. So, I’m going to brave a call to the oral surgeon today begging them to call in a prescription to hold me over until Tuesday. And if they don’t give it to me? I’ll seek solace in knowing I’ll at least have dropping a pants size by then.