masthead
Fashion dilemma extraordinaire
Category: I spilled something | 12 Comments »

I’ve never been a fan of wearing white shirts. This dates back to the white oxford uniform shirts I had to wear in high school that ALWAYS had makeup stains on the collar. We were allowed to wear blue or yellow oxfords as well and I always preferred those. Of course, with my affinity for spilling things, the No White Shirt policy survived through college and beyond.

But now? I’m re-thinking it.

Where a white shirt has always shown stains in the past, I’ve learned the last few months that white shirts do NOT show crusty spit-up as much as colored shirts do. So now, when I pick a top out, I have to decide: Are the chances that NikkiZ spit up on me GREATER than the chances that I’ll spill something on myself, or vice versa? And then make my clothing choice accordingly.

Being as glamorous as I am is VERY hard work.

Embarrassment is not a strong enough word.
Category: I spilled something | 48 Comments »

I.
AM.
SO.
EMBARASSED.

I could say those words every minute of the day today and I don’t think it would properly convey to you the humiliation I feel right now. Hell, I could tattoo those words across my forehead, take a picture of myself, make t-shirts out of that picture, and never wear anything but those t-shirts for the rest of my life and I STILL don’t think you’d understand exactly how embarrassed I am right now.

Let me start at the beginning.

I went to go nurse NikkiZ around 10am. When I got to my car, I saw I needed gas, so I went to the gas station first. While the gas was pumping, I ran in to buy a granola bar for a snack. I came out, saw the pump had stopped, saw my receipt had been printed, and pulled the hose out of the car. When I turned to hang the hose back up, one last burst of gasoline jumped out of the nozzle all over both my shoes and my pants.

“Shit.”

I knew I would need to go home and change because I probably stunk pretty bad. Unfortunately, I live about 30 minutes from where I work, and NikkiZ was hungry. So, I decided to go feed her a little bit to hold her over, and then run home and change. I decided to leave my shoes in the car, since they had sustained most of the damage, and walked into the daycare. I walked past the front desk, smiled at the lady, and walked directly into NikkiZ’s class.

“I’m going to go ahead and apologize for my smell. I spilled gas on myself and need to change but thought I’d come feed her first since I live so far away.”

The teacher had no problem with this and smiled at me as I walked past her to get NikkiZ. Then, she was like “GIRL! You do smell!” and one of the babies started crying. I told her I would step out the door onto the playground to nurse NikkiZ quickly before I ran home to change. I sat down in the grass and was just thinking about how much I should nurse to hold her over for an hour or so when the cook ran outside.

When she opened the door to the outside and yelled “Come on! Everyone has to get out of the building!” I noticed there was a siren going off and lights were flashing. She and NikkiZ’s teacher were wheeling cribs out of the building along with the babies across the hall. NikkiZ’s teacher and I were trying to hear what was going on when someone said the fateful words:

“We think there’s a gas leak in the building.”

SHIT.

NikkiZ’s teacher and I made contact and I mouthed, “Thats ME that they’re talking about.” We immediately started reassuring everyone that there wasn’t a leak, that I was just covered in gasoline.

Like that makes ANY more sense.

We get all the babies and teachers outside and I explained to them all (including the owner) what happened and why they smelled gasoline. I was almost in tears I felt SO bad. I kept saying, “I’m sorry! I’m SOOO sorry!” They were reassuring me that everything was okay, no big deal, they needed a drill anyway. Then, it got worse. Evidently? When the alarm is triggered (which someone had triggered it when they smelled the gas) it automatically calls the fire department. Lo and behold, there they were. The fire trucks pulling into the parking lot as we were all standing there with screaming babies and freaked out teachers.

Oh, the babies. They were ALL screaming. Half of them were evidently napping on cots and had to be yanked up and thrown into cribs to allow that they be wheeled out as quickly as possible. Then, there were the babies in NikkiZ’s class who were crying because they smelled me and I STUNK.

See? I didn’t quite realize how bad I smelled until someone from the back of the building said, “Yeah - I smelled the gas smell and then started feeling dizzy.”

Sorry.

I’ve sense been home, cleaned myself up, and changed clothes. I also had to go back to the daycare to nurse NikkiZ the rest of her meal, since she had only gotten part of it. All of the teachers laughed when I walked in and I could hear several others talking about it down the hall. I’m foreseeing a newsletter to the parents explaining that the fire department had been called, and that they didn’t need to worry.

It seems that one of our parents thought it would be smart to come nurse her daughter while being soaked in gasoline.

That’s me. Who wants to bet I’ll get some sort of nickname out of this one? They may not tell me to my face, but I can almost guarantee they’ll have one for me behind my back.

And in case you’re wondering? I still smell gasoline. I probably will be smelling it for days. The smell won’t last as long as the humiliation though, that I can guarantee.

Help me, internet!
Category: I spilled something | 24 Comments »

Emergency! Emergency! I just spilled soup all down my sweater I’m wearing today. And I have to go see a new daycare after work, without changing first! What should I do? Should I detour Target and buy a shirt? It could be cutting it close, timewise, and I could miss the tour. Should I just go straight to the daycare and pretend there’s not a stain? Will they turn me away if they notice the stain? Should I try to wash it out with water from the bathroom and hope it dries in the next few hours? It’s a tomato based soup stain, what if it just spreads it around and makes it worse? WHAT DO I DO?

I don’t want this place to ban us from attending since it is, no lie, our LAST resort if we want to escape our current daycare hell. And you’ll have to trust me, I am truly experiencing daycare hell right now. I need salvation, and if this stain keeps me from getting it, I’m holding YOU, dear internet, resposible.

My blog entry from this morning was ABDUCTED by ALIENS
Category: I spilled something | 24 Comments »

I’ve been depressed this morning. Do you want to know why? Because NO ONE replied to my entry about how bad my morning was! Usually, SOMEBODY has a story worse than mine, and that ALWAYS cheers me right up. OR - everyone says things like “you’re pretty” or “i love you” or “here’s a donut!” and such things to make me smile. Alas, I got nothin’.

Then? I went to my site to see if MAYBE someone left a comment but it didn’t get emailed to me (which happens quite a bit) and guess what? NO ENTRY FROM THIS MORNING.

Yay! No one hates me! I’m just an idiot who probably screwed something up when I was trying to write a blog entry at 6am!

So, the short of it? I had a BAD morning/night. I slept horribly, I fell in the toilet, I spilled coffee everywhere, I stepped on a dog bone, I woke up late, and did I mention I fell in the toilet? Yeah. I did. Thanks, MrZ. I owe you one.

But today has already gotten better. I filled my tummy with yummy greasy breakfast foods, I have work to do in the office, and the high is supposed to ONLY be 90 degrees today. Woo! It’s almost like winter around here. So, I no longer need the “Get Happys,” but instead, I need some advice about what to do when your ass falls asleep.

In other words? I need ASSVICE. HA! Damn. I crack myself up.

TGIF!
Category: I spilled something | 22 Comments »

Today is MY Friday for this week, is it yours as well? I’m so excited for Christmas (minus the wrapping, of course). Do you know that even though MrZ and I have been together for almost five years, this will be our first Christmas spent with each other AND with LilZoot!? Our first Christmas as a FAMILY. And I get to host Christmas Dinner!

This is NOT my first Christmas Dinner, though. My first was in this apartment, Christmas 2001. My Ex-husband and I had been split for 2 years, but for various reasons including geography, home renovations, and insanity on MY part, I ended up hosting HIS family’s Christmas. Not only was I hosting Christmas Dinner for my ex-husband’s family (which was ODD to say the least), but I blew up a glass casserole dish, I dropped the ham on the floor (served it anyway - heheh), and I spilled Diet Coke in the homemade mashed potatoes (did NOT serve those).

I’m hoping this one goes a WEE bit smoother.

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