Hmmm….I don’t know what to think about some of your responses. Especially those of you who chose Target over Wal-Mart because you don’t “have one where I live” - are you all okay? Life without Target? Isn’t that cruel and unusual punishment? Here are my answers -

1. Chick-Fil-A - I KNOW! But y’all don’t understand. My willpower is non-existant when it comes to Krispy Kremes. This is why I’m glad the only one in Huntsville is on the other side of town from where I live. My health would be a lot better if there wasn’t one at all in town. I love chicken biscuits, but it is a controlled love.

2.Target (preferrably - SUPER Target) - It would be hard not having paint accessible for when I want to redecorate my home, and I don’t know where I’d buy air-filters - but otherwise? I must have a Target. I can live without clean air, I can’t live without cute and cheap housewares.

3. McDonald’s - It’s all about their fountain sodas. A world without access to McDonald’s fountain Diet Cokes is my definition of HELL.

4. Old Navy - Waaay more affordable.

5. Barnes and Noble - I have a card! I must stick with them!

6. The Body Shop - We dont have a Body Shop in Huntsville, but I fell in love with the one in that Atlanta airport this summer. Tea Tree Oil face wash - the best stuff on EARTH.

7. Quiznos - I’ve finally succumbed to the power of the toasted sub - and Quiznos does it RIGHT. (Actually - Firehouse subs are my favorite - but they’re not as common)

8. A Movie Theater - I’m all about the Movie Theater experience with over-priced and artery-clogging buttered popcorn and soda by the gallon.

9. High Speed Internet Access - this is me hoping that all shows start being available for download soon.

10. A Gym - I know! But I really don’t go to the mall often (those crazy teens scare me) and the gym is someplace that helps me be healthy!

(And it also keeps my husband from becoming Grouchy McBitchyPants)

You know what else we must have? (Thanks to Ben) - BEN AND JERRY’S, of course. Oh - life without Half Baked or Cherry Garcia (low fat!) would be so sad. Oh, so, sad.

So, Chris mentioned that she lives in Alaska where there is no Krispy Kreme or Chick-Fil-A - and it got me wondering, which would I prefer? So - let’s play a little game, shall we?

You live somewhere remote - and you are deciding what businesses to populate your town with - which would you choose?

1.
(a) Krispy Kreme
(b) Chick-Fil-A

2.
(a) Target
(b) Wal-Mart

3.
(a) McDonald’s
(b) Burger King

4.
(a) The Gap
(b) Old Navy

5.
(a) Barnes and Noble
(b) Borders

6.
(a) The Body Shop
(b) Bath and Bodyworks

7.
(a) Subway
(b) Quiznos

8.
(a) A Movie Theater
(b) An Arena for Concerts

9.
(a) High Speed Internet Access
(b) Cable Television

10.
(a) A Gym
(b) A Mall

Let’s get back to my favorite topic, shall we? If I ruled the world…

I think I would like to make a policy on my planet that people can be jailed and possibly flogged for spitting out their gum anywhere other than a trash receptacle. I stepped on another piece of damn gum today, for…like the third time in just a few weeks. This pisses me off to no end because, really, are you ever that far from a garbage can? If you’re in a parking lot, chances are there’s a trashcan within about 15 feet of you. Probably inside of the establishment whose parking lot you just spit your gum on. It’s damn near impossible to get gum off of shoes with a lot of tread, which of course, is what I’m wearing today. DAMMIT.

Other things punishable by flogging?

1. Wearing too much perfume.
2. Stealing my favorite pens.
3. Running out of Diet Coke.

I’m sure there are more I could add…but that ought to do for now.

I’ve been trying to pay more attention to my categories and how I use them on each entry. I’m trying to put a little more thought into it as the blog gets bigger and my archives gain more girth.

(My archives: “Did you just call us fat?”)

I started a new category just now called “If I Were In Charge.” I decided to do a ongoing set of entries about what I would change if I ruled the world. This would be one of the many ideas birthed in the pages of this book that I have added my twist on so I can milk the idea for as many entries as possible. Some of my decrees will be light-hearted (peg-legging jeans will be a punishable crime) while some will be a little more serious and/or political. It will be fun to build my own society, and I encourage you to do the same. But don’t steal my national anthem: Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard.

(What?)

My first decree as supreme ruler? As of this morning I insist that all employers must grant their employees “Stained Clothing Days” on top of their vacation, sick, and personal days. These can be used on days when the employee spills chili on their light-colored pants and would rather not spend the rest of the day working in clothes that smell like ground beef and cumin. There will be a limit to these days, of course. We wouldn’t want people intentional dumping their lunch in their laps in order to get a round of golf in before the sun goes down. But, the days must be provided by all employers in all companies.

I’m not saying this necessarily happened to me or anything. It’s just a hypothetical situation. I’m not actually sitting here in tomato-sauce stained clothing smelling like the local Tex-Mex dive. Nope. Not me.