I have reached an all-time low. I have been attacked by an appliance. My dishwasher took out it’s revenge on me this afternoon by jumping out at me (because I can’t accept that I ran right into an immobile device) and kicking me in the shin. In reality? I have no damn clue how the incident happened. I was loading the dishes in the dishwasher - - and then I was in pain. And couldn’t walk. And the dishwasher was pointing and laughing at me.

Maybe it took my complaint about not having enough spoons personally. Let’s hope it doesn’t start talking to the refrigerator and stove, if there’s a mutiny I’m certain to die a slow and painful death at the hands of the ice dispenser.

So - I’ve been working on these gifts to give my kids before AndyZ gets here. We did something similar before NikkiZ was born - when I painted wooden signs with her and LilZ’s names on them. Since I wanted to paint one for AndyZ, I took the chance to let the kids pick out something at Michael’s for me to pain them. They both chose different stools to keep in their room, LilZ wanting a circular one with a peace sign. Because he’s in Junior High and evidently that is one of the few things that have NOT changed in the last 20 years: I had peace signs on EVERYTHING.

NikkiZ’s, however, was going to have her name on it. Since I was using stencils, I did every other letter in her name first so that I could do the others when the first batch dried. LilZ came home from school and looked at the stool. He said, “So…um…where are you going to put the rest of the letters.”

My first thought was, Duh. WHERE THEY BELONG. I mean, I had left plenty of room between each letter, I just didn’t want to keep putting my hand in wet paint so I was letting the first ones dry. I gave him a look to try to figure out where he was heading. And then I saw it: SYMPATHY. One of my friend’s daughters was there too and she said what he was scared to, “Aren’t these letters in the wrong place?”

I spelled my daughters name wrong.

Now, since I had only painted every other letter, it was just the middle letter that was wrong. But I was SO mortified that I immediately grabbed a brush and paint and painted over it. I thought I was going to cry I felt so stupid.

I realized later I should have at least photographed the error for visual evidence of my placenta brain to show future generations. But all I wanted to do was cover it up before MrZ got home. BECAUSE I COULD NOT HANDLE THE SHAME.

The stool is done now, except for the sealing coat I’ll spray on today. I have read, and re-read, the letters in her name dozens of times to make sure I’ve spelled it right. I’ve had every family member come up and do the same: assuring me that I won’t wake up one day and see that the stool says: FRANK.

Which - for the record - is NOT her name. But I wouldn’t put it past my limited brain capacity to spell it that way.

You spelled my name wrong? NICE.

(What? I need to take a break from posting the butterfly costume pictures? Ya think?)

I always feel like I’m the last to hear about “popular” internet stuff. By the time I hear about something, the rest of the world has moved on. BUT - inevitably one of you comes out and says, “Heh. I didn’t know that either.” So, I consider it my duty to share my belated lessons for the few of you more behind than I am.

It started when someone named “RickRoll” (or something similar) started following me on twitter. I didn’t follow him back because I didn’t know who he was but the name sounded almost familiar. Like it was something I had heard of in passing. Then, a few days later, Chrispian twittered about being Rick Rolled and I was like, Huh? But - as usual - I just wrote it off as one of the many things I didn’t get and moved on.

Then, we were watching The Soup (I love you, Joel McHale) on Friday and they had this clip:

I finally gave up and decided I’d look it up and see what the hell this was about. And now I’m sharing with you so we can all be educated. Turns out, Rick Rolling is when you click on a link you think is one thing and turns out to be the video of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” video. For example:

Hey, Guys! Look at this great picture me and Brad Pitt!

If you clicked that link, you’ve officially been Rick Rolled. And I have done the Rick Rolling.

This trend evidently started on some gaming board and has popped up in more popular outlets recently. There is even a firefox extension that will convert all YouTube videos to that Rick Astley video. I’m guessing so you can set it up on someone’s computer when they’re not looking? I don’t know. Don’t do it to my computer or I’ll beat you up.

So - Now you and I both know what all the fuss is about. Why this is important or funny is a mystery for another blogger to tackle.

I truly, truly, hate you. The End. Amen.

Okay - so I started the whole Facebook thing many moons ago. About the same time I started the whole MySpace thing. I learned to understand MySpace, because it’s what LilZ and his friends use and I wanted to be able to keep up. I still haven’t decided if he really hates it or really likes it that I periodically comment on his page. He probably hates it, and is scared to tell me. I at least try to be cool though, and not act like a Mom. But, as a Mom, you kinda have to keep up in order to keep your finger on the pulse of what the kids these days are into.

I never really understood Facebook, however. Mainly because I didn’t have a reason to. People had added me as their “friends” and sometimes I get “poked” and such, but it’s like a foreign world to me. I can’t figure out how to do anything and I don’t know the etiquette. Someone asked me a question on my “wall” and I don’t know if I answer it on my “wall” or on their “wall” - it’s all so confusing.

I realized awhile ago that all of the “Friends” I had been accepting could see my “real” name and information. I don’t care a whole lot, but since I had been accepting friend requests without paying attention to who sent them, I thought maybe I should change that. I tried to change some of the personal information and couldn’t figure out how. And then it wouldn’t let me change my name because it wasn’t “real” or something stupid. I don’t know. I just decided to try to start over. Start a new Facebook page with fake information and go from there. So - this morning I sent out a few friend requests from my NEW page. Then, I realized that Facebook had finally made the changes to my original page for me. WTF? I requested those changes forever ago - and when I finally decide to start a new page they make the changes for me? WTF?

So - now I have to delete the NEW Facebook page because I’d prefer the original since it had all of my “Friends” on there already. Of course, some of you may have friend requests from me that now mean nothing other than: I’m an idiot who can’t figure out these damn social networks. BAH. I have a blog, isn’t that ENOUGH?

And I still can’t figure out what the hell the Poking and the Questions and such are all about. Should I be responding? Am I pissing people off by ignoring those things because I don’t know what they mean? And I added pictures but isn’t there a Flickr thing I should be using? And why is the page so ugly? Can I make it pretty?

I’m so old.

Obligatory Disclaimer: Yes, I’m aware there is the whole Facebook Hates BreastFeeders controversy. But - I use Facebook to keep up with friends and family and while I would really like Facebook to not be jackasses, I kinda have to snub the controversy in order to keep the option open to check out what my friends and family who don’t blog are up to. Sorry. I do love breastfeeding though! And if I get to be nursing a baby soon I’ll post the pictures all over Facebook just to see what happens! I promise!

My family has a membership at our local botanical gardens. We are very proud of this membership and we use it often. We even went so far this year as to purchase $100 worth of Galaxy of Lights tickets to give out as Christmas presents. Galaxy of Lights brings Christmas decorations to the botanical gardens in the form of a fantasy wonderland. It’s awesome and we love it every year.

Well - I still hadn’t gotten my tickets yet as of this weekend. When I received a large envelope with the HSVBG logo on the front, I assumed it was the tickets. But I opened it and I saw (1) An invitation to the members only walk through in two weeks that insisted we RSVP but left no number to call and (2) What I thought was another card requesting us to buy tickets. I started getting stressed because if they were asking us to buy tickets, did that mean they didn’t have record of our previous order?

So, I called them today to see what was up. The first thing they told me is that there was a big mail-out this morning and our tickets were probably en route. Then, I asked her about the Member’s Only Walk-Thru. “Um, yes. It says I’m supposed to RSVP, but it doesn’t say who to RSVP with.” She very politely said that we RSVP with her, but that we can just send the card to her and that is the easiest way. “What card?” Then, I looked at what I had thought was a card requesting that we buy tickets but in reality was an RSVP card. Which makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE. Why am I such an idiot? Why did I assume the card that came with the invitation would be anything other than a card to RSVP for the event?

In my defense, the RSVP card was about the same size as the Galaxy of Lights ticket order card. But that is the only defense I have. Which, I’m pretty sure, still makes me an idiot.