And as you can see by this lovely picture I took? It turned out BEAUTIFULLY.

I posted this photo on Facebook with some sort of bitter snarky comment about how OBVIOUSLY something went wrong. My friend Alicia suggested maybe I had used self-rising flour instead of all-purpose. Evidently, self-rising flour has baking soda and salt in it. (Who knew? NOT ME.) Which would mean there was too much of both used in the recipe because I added both of those things along with the flour.

Now, I didn’t know what self-rising flour was until this weekend, but I know I usually avoid buying it. BUT – I put the flour in a container when I get home, so I couldn’t check for sure that I had used the right flour. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try the recipe again with a new batch of flour unless I knew for sure that was the cause. THEN…I remembered the pumpkin bread I made last weekend with the new flour. It was made in a bundt pan but it was crumbly and it had a tunnel going through the middle. I had made this bread 100 times before and that had NEVER happened.

(Why it didn’t occur to me THEN that I had done something wrong, I have no idea.)

I bought new (ALL PURPOSE!) flour and gave the recipe another try. It worked! Of course, mine didn’t look as good as the picture, (sidenote: I HATE HOW PRETTY CAKES LOOK IN RECIPE PICTURES. Mine never look that good. HATE.) but it was edible and yummy. Not that pretty because I still can’t seem to ice cakes worth a crap, but it was good!

Then, I took the deflated cake and made a trifle with it by simply layering the crumbling deflated cake with chocolate syrup and cool-whip. TA DA! 2 very yummy desserts that looked kinda good! And I learned what self-rising flour was. WIN/WIN!

During the week, breakfast menus are quick and healthy. Cream-cheese bagels, oatmeal and blueberries, fruit salad, rice krispies. Those types of things. Nothing incredibly time-consuming or yummy, if you were to ask my kids.

But one day a weekend we usually go off the main track. We take two rolls of croissants and we cover one roll with peanut butter and milk-chocolate chips and the other roll with butter and cinnamon/sugar. There is really no wrong way to do these. We cook by the instructions on the can, we just add fillings! And I let the kids do most of the stuff so obviously none of them are identical. But it doesn’t really matter, it’s another way to get them helping in the kitchen – which I’m determined to encourage so they’ll know more as an adult starting out cooking than I did.

On my end, in the kitchen, I cooked FIVE new recipes ALL YESTERDAY. Two different types of poppers, one appetizer, and two different veggie dishes. (I love having Sunday Dinner at my house because it motivates me to try new things.) All of them turned out great, even if I did modify a few things here and there. However, I wanted to show a picture of my kitchen yesterday morning to prove to you that, even if I manage to get a decent picture of the foo in my weirdly-lit kitchen, know that 2 inches outside of the frame chaos reigns.

LOOK WHAT I MADE. Chocolate recipe found here but couldn’t resist doing a strawberry one when I found a Cheesecake pudding at the store. We added a layer of graham cracker crumbs to that one for the Cheesecake Effect.

These things are TRIFLES. And I’ve been pronouncing them TR(EYE)FULS. But I think they are actually pronounced TR(UH)FULS. Which makes me think I may have lost whatever cool kitchen points I earned while actually making them. What say you? How do YOU pronounce it? And would your host mispronouncing it negate any of the yummy factor of said dessert? No? GOOD! Come eat leftovers!

LOOK WHAT NIKKI DID! She grew out of her bike but I made her ride it anyway! I figure, if she’ll keep riding it without complaining (too much) then I’m going to try to put off buying another one until her birthday (October). Does that win me cheap-o Mom of the Year of WHAT? She rode 2.5 miles on Saturday and did GREAT. The only factor slowing her down was ME because I was carrying her 28lb brother in my hiking backpack.

LOOK WHAT WES DID! This has been a challenge at the playground for awhile. Being able to cross this entire contraption from the bottom of one side all the way up, and then back down to the bottom of the other side. His legs are still too short for the middle transfer, so I had to help him around that part, but other than that? HE DID IT! And then he wanted to do it AGAIN…and AGAIN…AND AGAIN…forever until we all died. THE END.

LOOK WHAT THEY GOT! Lego necklaces! They scored them at our Art Stroll which we have once a month downtown. So cute. I am going to figure out what kind of tool it takes to get that hole in those legos and I’m going to make some of these. They’re adorable! And the kids LOVE them, which means they were both broken by Sunday. I NEED TO MAKE BACKUPS. Any tips?

LOOK WHAT I MADE! What? I already told you that part? Well…I am a bit proud so I needed to at least show you another picture. And also tell you, if you do NOT own a Trifle dish? GO TO WAL-MART. I actually went there first because this looked like something they’d have for cheap and I was right. $7. Target had one for $20 and it wasn’t even as cute. It was too frilly looking, all curved and stuff. I got TWO of these for less than ONE of those. Target? You are my soulmate in many things, but this time I had to cheat on your for price and aesthetics. I apologize. You usually counter the price WITH the cute-factor, but this time? Not so much.

What did YOU do this weekend? And once again…how do YOU pronounce the word “TRIFLE”?

And also…in case you’re wondering…there is NO BEEF in either trifle.

For every birthday party, it seems, someone asks for Cake Poppers. And while I still stand by the Red Velvet/Chocolate combination being my favorite flavor, I do like to try to have fun with the appearance once in awhile. Hobby Lobby sells some great colors of candy coating, but it’s all vanilla. And since it’s a different brand from what I normally use on the cake poppers, it’s a little bit of a different consistency. Thicker and sometimes globbier. (Is that a word? It is now.) But – it makes for pretty treats. I let Nikki and Wes pick their colors. We also dyed the white cake batter before we cooked it so the cake poppers were the same color on the outside as on the inside. THEN…we picked out sprinkles and – BEFORE THE COATING DRIED – we sprinkled each one. The end result was BEAUTIFUL. And if you like vanilla? TASTY. It’s not my favorite flavor so I stuck with the chocolate/red velvet.

Speaking of pretty colors…a certain little boy also asked for “Rainbow Cupcakes” which he also wanted to top with his star sprinkles. This turned out to be quite an easy project, albeit quite messy. Any project that dirties SEVEN BOWLS and SEVEN SPOONS is a bit extreme in my book.

All I did was mix normal white cake batter and then divide it “evenly” into 6 bowls. Everyone in town was out of Primary Food Colors (and you have to use the GELS…they color much better) but I made do with some pastel colors and a Neon color pack I found at Hobby Lobby. Without primary colors we had no “red” but the pink worked out just fine. I mixed each color and then just globbed (Another made-up baking term!) a spoonful of each into the cupcake holder. Don’t try to flatten it to make smooth layers, because then the colors get mixed up. They stay separated if you just let them be and – while it may not be a perfect layered rainbow – they are still AWESOME in every way. It only made about 16 a batch because I think you loose a little bit of the batter each time you divide it up, so I ended up cooking two batches. This meant I had to wash dishes first because I do NOT have 12 bowls to use simultaneously. But even with all of that mess? Still totally worth it.

OH! Make sure you use cupcake holders because seeing the expression on your guests faces when they pull it off and see all the colors? PRICELESS. The kids loved them and the adults thought I was pretty damn awesome. Which, you know, I TOTALLY AM.

Wes also wanted a few “with worms,” so I used chocolate icing on half and topped them with gummy worms. Easiest – and most fun – cupcakes ever. Since I never make cupcakes (I’m sure you could guess that by how hideous the icing job looks) I didn’t have a way to store them. I’m sure every one of you has one of these Awesome Cupcake Holders but it was new to me so I had to share it just in case it would be new to you too. TWO LAYERS! And it even allowed for my gummy worms. Nothing got smooshed. You do have to be careful making sure the lid actually locks on the bottom dish, but other than that it’s easy breezy.

Last, but NOT least, is a “new” treat I came up with recently. Nikki was talking about marshmallows and I had melting chocolates I needed to use but didn’t feel l like making another batch of cake poppers. (For the record, since the week the power went out? I’ve made about 700 cake poppers for various events. I would like to take a break for awhile.) I had an idea to use marshmallows and try to improvise some S’mores Poppers with my leftover melting chocolates. BEST IDEA EVER.

This was SO EASY. First I crushed some graham crackers in a large sandwich bag. Actually – I let the kids do that – they love that job. Then I melted the chocolates (I always use the stuff I mention here because it’s easy to work with) and grabbed some bamboo skewers I had laying around. I rolled the sides and the “bottom” of the marshmallow in the chocolate and immediately (but slowly) rolled them in the graham cracker crumbs. I popped them on the wax paper to harden and TA-DA! S’mores bites! E took some to school last week and said the didn’t last 5 minutes. SO EASY but also a HUGE crowd-pleaser. I only wish you could buy a size of marshmallows between normal and mini – because I think these would be perfect if the marshmallows were just a tiny bit smaller. They are a bit big for “bites” for small kids, but that didn’t stop my kids from eating them.

SO! There you have it. Some yummy treats we’ve made for various gatherings lately.

I can NOT believe I just wrote a blog entry about various alterations to standby desserts. Just the fact that I have standby desserts now is quite a huge change from where I was when I had Wes. He’ll never know me as someone who is NOT comfortable in the kitchen. And that makes me damn proud.

But not as proud as my rainbow cupcakes. Those things were AWESOME.

Here is the key: No one in my home had ever made homemade cookies before. Anyone who has? Will not be impressed by this recipe. HOWEVER, since I know we are not the only people out there who have never made cookies from scratch, I am putting the recipe (with his adjustment) here so that others can try it. Turns out? HOMEMADE COOKIES ARE GOOD! And not scary at all! I’m glad he tried them because I don’t think I ever would have.

My husband, now our in-home cookie expert, says that the most important part of the instructions were…the actual instructions. Not the ingredients. He swears that it was HOW he mixed the stuff that made the cookies brilliant, not WHAT he put in them. I will not argue with him. I just know I handed them out all last weekend exclaiming: THESE ARE MY FAVORITE COOKIES IN THE WORLD. Unfortunately, I don’t know what to name them to indicate the presences of milk chocolate chips AND white chocolate chips without getting into some sort of excess-chip situation. White Chocolate and Chocolate Chip Cookies is too much of a tongue-twister. For now? The Cookies That Can Not Be Named.

Ingredients

* 2 1/4 cups flour
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
* 3/4 cup granulated sugar
* 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 2 large eggs
* 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
* 1 cup white chocolate chips

Directions

PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl.

In a larger bowl, mix softened butter, sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Gradually mix in flour mixture. (We did all of this mixing by hand, no need to dirty up your mixer!)

Stir in all chips. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto baking sheets. (I greased my, Donnie didn’t. Both turned out fine.)

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

Bagged up and ready for Dessert Theatre!

For a decade, at least, I cooked vegetables from a can. That’s it. CAN ONLY. Then, a few years ago, I bought a rice steamer. It came with a vegetable tray for above the rice. Sometimes, if I was feeling super-fancy, I would put fresh vegetables in that steamer basket.

Vegetables: Canned and Steamed. That’s it.

Now, there are a few random recipes I’ve cooked over the years that have integrated fresh vegetables in other ways. My vegetarian lasagna, cabbage rolls, etc. But for the most part? For the last few years it was can/steamed. Steamed/Canned.

Last week I bought a book called The Happy Herbivore for some recipes that would help me step out of the routine a little bit. It’s a great book filled with easy recipes and it taught me something: Don’t Be Afraid Of Vegetables.

For the past week I’ve cooked fresh vegetables every night. I’ve oven-roasted, sauteed, pain-fried in steak grease (WHAT?) and I haven’t used a recipe but ONCE. The rest of the time? I opened the fridge, saw what fresh veggies I had, AND JUST COOKED THEM. That book exposed me to so many ways to cook vegetables that I’m not longer scared of them. I AM A CHANGED WOMAN. The other night I just threw some fresh asparagus and some fresh brussel sprouts and some fresh red pepper in a dish with a tad bit of oil and I roasted the crap out of them. SO GOOD.

And Wes has helped me almost every night. He’s put peppers in dishes and cabbage on pots. He will grow up knowing only the Kim That Cooks Vegetables. And I’m quite proud of that. In two years I’ve done it, I’ve gone from Stouffer’s Frozen Dinners and Canned Vegetables to roasted vegetables and pan-fried pork chops. I’m not going to write a recipe book or host a cooking show or anything, but my youngest child will grow up eating REAL food cooked by his Mom. And since he helps me all the time, he won’t be scared of vegetables, like I was. He’ll always know how to cook them.

And how to wear them on his head.

So, I cooked Cajun Pork Chops last night in a frying pan. I’ve never done that before. The pork chops tasted GREAT. Spicy, but not too dry and yummy. E even went back for more and Donnie requested they stay in rotation. Nikki even ate them! (With ketchup, of course.) However, I have questions.

• The recipe said 8-10 minutes and to internal temp of 170. After a few minutes on one side I just felt there was no way that cook time was right. I did 8 mins on one side, flipped and SEE HOW BLACK THEY WERE? Is that how they’re supposed to look? They tasted fine, but looked burnt. Is that normal?
• And then, after 8 minutes on the other side? Still not 170. Ended up taking several flips and stabs with the thermometer. Probably 20+ minutes total. Does that sound right? Did I use the wrong kind of pan? Too much oil? Not enough oil? The recipe said 1 1/2 tsp of oil. I probably actually used a bit more. Or was the recipe cook time wrong?
• How do you “know” they’re done without having to stab them with a thermometer 5 times or slice them open? Is it that something you learn with time?
• What do you call what I did? Is that “frying a pork chop”? I don’t know the lingo and I equate “frying” with breading, so I’m not sure if I am supposed to say I fried pork chops. Did I?
• What about my frying pan. Is that the right kind? I think it’s just one from Wal-mart (the Paula Dean Collection) that I’ve had for awhile but is that the right size? Should I have gone bigger? Smaller?

The end result is that they were good. I know that’s all that matters, but I was so confused by the entire process I thought you could help me out.

By the way – did I mention I volunteered to be in charge of a breakfast in March that will feed a total of 240 people between two seatings? Is there anyone in the world less qualified to manage such a task? I volunteered because it’s geared to Nikki’s demographic, making me uber-qualified in every area BUT the food. Luckily, I’ve consulted every Cooks For Large Groups person I know so I’m at least EDUCATED. Experience? As we see with this entry here? I have NONE AT ALL.

Do you know something I have to remind of myself often – especially when posting recipes? That you don’t HAVE to be an expert on a topic to write about something on your blog. You can still teach people without knowing everything about a certain subject. These are blogs, not professional journal submissions or resource texts.

I get so paranoid about sharing recipes on this blog. I don’t do it often, even though my new design encourages me to. This is because I’m insecure. I don’t know the rules. I don’t feel like someone who started cooking as recently as I have, should be allowed to share recipes. But then I do, and someone inevitably thanks me because it looks like something they’d like to fix.

It’s the same with parenting. As long as you’re not preachy and self-righteous – anyone can learn from your experience. None of us are experts at parenting, yet we should all tell our stories. Just because you’re a first-time Mom doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share what works for your baby’s teething. Doesn’t mean that those of us with more kids won’t value your story.

That’s the beauty of blogs, it gives everyone a voice. I just worry that sometimes we’re scared to use it. I used to talk about infertility and miscarriages a lot. Was I an expert? No. Had I been suffering the longest? No. But did I write about it anyway? Yes. Because it helped me and periodically, especially when someone Googled certain keywords, women stumbled upon my blog and found my entries helped them too.

But when I post recipes? I feel like an idiot. Like I have no right to talk about cooking since I still don’t even own (or sometimes even care to own) most of the cooking tools I see on other food blogs. And the more I think about it – the more there are other topics I get nervous writing about. Clothes (even though I really wanted to write about some of the fashion choices I’ve been making lately), cosmetics (even though I’ve found a moisturizer I love), and social causes (even though I believe so strongly in them) – I can’t seem to write about these things even if I want to. Simply because I don’t feel qualified.

I used to even feel like this way posting pictures on my blog, like I’m showing off my own photos when I’m just an amateur. But – I’ve gotten over that a little bit. I think I like my pictures enough on my own just to get over my own insecurities. Somewhere a long the way I washed the insecurities away and just posted pictures because I wanted to.

Not there with recipe-related insecurities yet. I’m still paranoid and waiting for someone to say, “What? You don’t have a food processor? AND you’re still using a hand-held mixer? You are not qualified to post recipes on your blog!”

(Because we all know this happens all the time, right?)

Are there topics you’re insecure talking about? Whether in person or on a blog? Are there topics you’ll approach freely even though you’re not an expert?

NikkiZ was on my lap last night as I was going through my Feed Reader. She saw me stumble upon the entry from Bakerella discussing her book and she had her interest piqued. I said, “That’s the lady who does real cake pops. Not just the cheating version of Cake Poppers that Mommy does.”

“I like yours better,” she vehemently exclaimed.

The funny thing is: She probably does. She’s the pickiest eater on the planet and sweets don’t ever guarantee edibility. She wouldn’t even think about trying the Chocolate Sheet Cake from PW last night. But my cake poppers? She adores. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her perk up at a food so much. It’s probably one of the main reasons why I make them for everything. All of the cooking I’ve learned to do in the last year, all of the yummy meals I’ve made, and the only thing she’s liked out of the new me is the Cake Poppers. So there’s a good chance, because she’s weird, that she would like mine best.

However…

I decided to explain to her about the Bakerella and how hers are like art. I opened up this page and showed NikkiZ all of the amazing creations Bakerella has done. I’ve never even been brave enough to try putting mine on sticks, much less decorate them. NikkiZ was in awe. But the funny thing is – she was trying to suppress it. Like, I’d see her initial shock over the Hello Kitty Pops and then she’d shake it off and be like, “Eh. Whatever. Yours are still better.”

At that point I was almost humored at how stubborn she was being. I was all, “Nikki! Did you SEE the Sesame Street Guys?? Those are AMAZING. How can you say mine are better?

“I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

HA! How is that for my diva/sassy daughter showing an honest-to-goodness sweet and selfless side. It was like she knew the other ones were awesome but she was afraid that acting impressed in any way would indicate an insult to my beloved Cake Poppers. I proceeded to explain to her that everyone has different talents and hobbies and it’s okay if someone’s better than me at something. I told her I’m proud of my Cake Poppers and everyone loves them but we all have to admit that they’re no where near as beautiful as the Cake Pops Bakerella makes and that’s okay. It doesn’t hurt my feelings at all!

“Well, maybe someday you can try to make some and they’ll be as pretty.” (Yeah. Because it looks just that easy.)

“Maybe,” I said, “but I think I don’t have enough patience or dexterity for that kind of detail work.”

“Yeah. That’s why you don’t like to wear makeup either.”

That’s my girl.

*****************

Unrelated to my inability to apply makeup: Huntsville brought in 400 tons of sand and hosted a Beach Party downtown to raise money for a Children’s Museum and gulf relief. We went both days and took some hysterical pictures you should check out here. I love my city.

Here’s the thing: If you call them Cake Poppers? They DON’T HAVE TO BE SPHERICAL. That’s the best thing about the name change. That – and if you’re 12 like me – you can mention them without giggling. (Hee Hee…Balls.) But seriously – once you remove the need for them to be in the shape of balls? By changing the name? The pressure is gone and the precision is unnecessary. ALL HAIL SLOPPY BAKERS!

I decided to document my process, now that I’ve got it fined-tuned, to share with those of you who have been struggling with the Cake Balls before. Keep in mind, this is the EXACT SAME RECIPE as Bakerella and PW use, but with a name change to allow for my own personal imperfections. Maybe the name change is all you need, but if you need more? Here’s my sloppy and messy guide to Cake Balls Poppers: Cake Balls For The Baking Impaired!

The cast of characters. I also suggest you keep wax paper and disposable forks/spoons on hand…but neither are necessary.

Step One: Bake the cake as per the instructions on the box. While this step seems like an easy one…it has been forgotten before.

Step Two: Let the cake cool for several hours. I usually even leave mine overnight.
Step Three: Mix in one container of Cream Cheese icing with then entire baked cake.

Step Four: Now it’s time to roll them into balls poppers! Basically, I go for balls (hee.) by rolling them up in my hand, but I don’t fret about the perfection of the shape. IT DOESN’T MATTER. TIP: Keep your hands damp. After about 7 poppers, you’ll probably need to re-wet them. Not sopping, just damp. Makes it easier to keep the cake from sticking to your hands.

Step Five: Put them in the fridge and wait for at least an hour…but I usually go for two hours. Now – I consistently get at least two trays full of these things with each batch. Sometimes that’s 70, sometimes that’s 80. Once…when doing it for a bake sale? I got 90 out of one batch. And charged $1/3 Poppers. That means I made $30 for the bake sale from my one batch of Cake Poppers. Look out world…I’m gonna be RICH!

Step Six: Melt the chocolate for the coating. TIP: Get the chocolate for the fountains (I found ours at Hobby Lobby) because it coats easier than the multi-colored basic candy chocolates. The other one kind does come in cool colors, but for these babies? The milk chocolate for fountains? PERFECTION.

Now, I melt mine in 45 second increments and stir each time until it’s all the way melted. But – every bag seems to tell you something different and every microwave is different. I’ve never used an entire bag on one batch of poppers before, so you might be okay if you mess up, just don’t get any water near the stuff. Has a bad reaction and won’t coat/melt properly.

Step Seven: Coat each Popper with chocolate.

As you can see, this is where I use disposable tools. The chocolate is messy and weird to clean up since it’s desire is to be a solid and it fights with water. I coat with the spoon and then hold with the fork while the excess chocolate drips. This is the key though: THESE ARE NOT CAKE BALLS. There is no need for any technique because no one knows they’re supposed to be round. They are Poppers. Tiny bites of cake. Blobs are actually better! So, don’t fret over how yours look. TRUST ME.

As you coat, they dry pretty quickly. As a matter of fact, mine are usually starting to dry before I finish the entire tray. So…give it a few minutes when you’re done and survey your work. Add some chocolate in spots that need them…it doesn’t matter. Because the last step? The drizzle to cover all mistakes! You’ll just drizzle chocolate over all of your poppers so that any mistakes get hidden! All hail imperfections!

There you have it! How I made Cake Balls achievable even for a twitchy, shaky-handed, impatient newbie like myself! I hope you are as successful as I have been with these treasurers. They were even requested for my son’s Theatre Awards reception on Saturday. When people start specifically requesting your baked goods? You are officially AWESOME. Which I am. Because – while I may have been known to ruin WATER ONLY muffins – I have perfected the Cake Popper. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Oh..and I forgot! My messy kitchen shot to prove my mess extends beyond the frame of the pretty pictures above!

I swear, the red does come off! Don’t panic! (That’s to reassure my husband who is hyperventilating looking at that picture.)