Category Archives: Poop

Adjustments

We’re struggling with adjustments in the new house – if you have any experience or stories of triumph (Heh.) in any of these areas, please let me know!

  • This new house has an upstairs and a downstairs. It actually has a staircase on either side of the house, instead of one in the middle, so it’s easy not to hear what’s going on when the kids are sleeping. The good news? I can now wash dishes and do laundry without fear of waking them up. The bad news? I now have to carry around a monitor with me everywhere in the mornings/evenings. This has taken some getting used to because I didn’t even use the monitor anymore in the old house. I could hear AndyZ wake up in my bedroom loud enough to wake me out of a dead sleep. Now? He could be screaming for hours and I wouldn’t hear him. I think this has had me on edge, even with the monitor, because I’m waking up earlier than I would normally. I think my mind doesn’t trust the monitor yet. Which is pissing me off because I’d really like to sleep past 5am once in awhile. Do you ever get used to using a monitor? Do you ever trust it to wake you up?
  • Sunflower won’t come downstairs. Bringing her over here was quite traumatic, and it took her 2 full days to come out from under NikkiZ’s bed. She will now occasionally come out from under the bed, but I have yet to see her downstairs. For about 24 hours the dogs were skittish, trying to leave with us whenever we walked out the door, but now they realize this is home and have kinda gotten back to normal. Bambi is worried about Sunflower, but other than that he’s pretty normal. I’m hoping she’ll get over it in a few more days, but if she doesn’t – do I call her vet? Accept she’s just an upstairs cat from now on?
  • We have no fence at this house. Our backyard is wooded and a little bumpy so we’re not sure how fenceable it even is – but there’s not one now in any case. So, we’re dog walkers now. This is taking a huge adjustment on my part because it’s one more thing I have to schedule. There’s mealtimes, naptimes, picking NikkiZ up from preschool at lunch, errands and now? Walking the dogs. At first we assumed we could just take them to the front/back yards a few times a day and walk other times – but Sweetie is refusing to go to the bathroom in our yard. Last night I walked half a mile before she finally pooped (it had been almost 48 hours) – but she usually has to get at least a few blocks away before she’ll even pee. This is fine, I don’t mind walking, but it’s not always conducive if I’m alone with the kids because I can not manage a stroller/wagon and TWO DOGS at the same time. Not on this really hilly neighborhood. I need them to be able to do their business in the yard when I’m alone with the kids and I can take them for walks morning/evenings when MrZ is home. Will Sweetie ever start using the bathroom in our yard or am I going to have to learn how to manage two kids in a stroller up/down giant hills AND walk a dog at the same time? I’m not sure that’s possible. I’m too big of a klutz.
  • Related to dog-walking: I now have to pick up poop. This isn’t a big deal, but I get all freaked out that someone will see my dogs peeing and thing they’re pooping and that I’m just leaving it. Also – I worry people may get made for me letting the dogs poop in their yards, even if I do pick it up. I try to steer them clear of the super-nice lawns, because I just assume no one wants my dogs peeing and pooping on really cared for yards, but it’s hard to force them when they’re ready to go NOW. Are people generally fine as long as you clean up after your dogs? Or do some of them really freak out regardless?
At the breakfast table
Please walk me? I haven’t peed in 14 hours. Also – I find it very discomforting that you are now picking up my poop. What’s up with that?

We already have a junk spot
We already have a junk spot. I usually am bothered by counter clutter, but since this part is separated from the rest of the counter – I may be able to live with it.

The One In Which I Talk Way Too Much About Someone Else’s Poop

I was trying to work on the “parent part” of some crafts the kids are doing for Mother’s Day while they were playing in the tub last night. Suddenly NikkiZ hollers “EWWW!” and I turn my head to see her standing up and saying, “Mom! AndyZ pooped in the bathtub again!”

This is what I get for telling the story last week about the “First time he every pooped in the tub!” – this is going to be a habit now. That was a Rookie mistake.

I drop everything I’m doing and try not to laugh as we repeat the motions from last week: Put all the bath toys in a bin to be sterilized in the dishwasher. (In case you’re wondering? Mermaid Barbie is dishwasher safe.) rinse out the tub, wash the tub, re-wash the children in the shower this time to avoid anymore poop incidents. Get their jammies on. Order them to PLAY IN THEIR ROOM while you go back and really clean the bathroom that was affected by the poop incident. Not all of the bathroom…that’s not necessary.

As the kids were playing in their room, I guess AndyZ bumped his head or something. NikkiZ decided to get him a bandaid and then to get one for herself to match. After I finished the clean-up and saw their matching bandaids…I had to grab a picture. These are the resulting photos.

Looking at her like, "What is she talking about?"

One trying to be cute...one trying to escape

Yook!

Fancy

Hmmm?

He totally wins

Always with the crazy eyes

That’s the magic of Motherhood, to me. That the act of cleaning up poop residue off of bath toys (because it couldn’t be the EASY kind of poop, could it?) and sterilizing dolls with poop in their hair – that is nothing consequential. It’s just something you do…like feeding the dog when they’re hungry, or putting the dishes up after dinner. One of the many normal chores that become part of your life. You don’t get stressed about it (Because really…what good does that do?) and you sometimes even laugh at it. (Or you would if you saw your daughter squealing about gross poop water in her hair.) You just do it…and then go about your life. Recognizing how adorable your kids are with matching fake booboos. Taking their picture without once caring that you just spent 20 minutes scrubbing poop out of your tub. Something about Motherhood makes you able to do things you would have never imagined yourself doing…and then not even thinking twice about doing them.

Because…really? If I had spent too much time freaking out over the bathtub poop incident? I might have missed out on this:

Is this a competition?

And that would have simply been a tragedy.

Automatic Smile Inducer

I took both kids to the doctor today. AndyZ because he was running a fever (turned out to be an ear infection) and NikkiZ because she needed a note to go back to school since she’s had a few instances of diarrhea in the last week. On the way back from the doctor, I called two people at work to explain that I got her note, I was taking her to school, and I’d be in shortly. After I got off the phone, NikkiZ took the doctor’s note while we were driving and put it to her ear like it was a phone. These are the two “calls” she made:

Jenni? It’s NikkiZ. Pause for response on the other end of the line
I just went to the doctor. Pause.
I have diarrhea. Pause.
I didn’t know either, but I have a coupon so it’s okay and I can go back to school.
*********
Steve? It’s NikkiZ. Pause.
I have diarrhea. Pause.
No, DIARRHEA. Steve evidently didn’t hear her the first time.
Yeah. Pause.
I got a coupon from the doctor so I can go back to school. Pause.

I have no idea why she was calling the note a coupon, and I don’t know why she wanted to call my boss and coworker to tell them about her diarrhea, but it was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. If there has been one moment in her life I wish I could rewind to record later? That would be it. Best Fake Phone Call Award…HANDS DOWN.

It Always Goes Back To The Poop

Playing!!! This picture was taken last night while I was cooking dinner. Do you know what NikkiZ was doing? She was PLAYING. It’s been since Saturday that we’ve seen that. SATURDAY. Almost a whole week of no playing. It was a beautiful sight. Until I saw that she had dumped every container of food and dishes for her kitchen out all over the dining room floor. Then I remember – I HATE PLAYING.

Just kidding. Playing is awesome. I’d clean up that mess any day if it meant NikkiZ was feeling well again.

I knew she was feeling better when she called me Poopyhead earlier that afternoon. She had asked for a popsicle to which I replied, “A poopsicle? You want a poopsicle? EW! Gross!” She laughed hysterically and said, “No! A popsicle! You’re a Poopyhead!” and then she laughed some more.

I’ve never enjoyed being called a Poopyhead so much in my life.

I slept well last night. Pre-NikkiZ sick well. I started waking up about 4:30 and was thinking that today is going to be SO NICE. I’ll be able to get ready with my normal morning routine! Both kids will get to go to school today! Both parents will get to work a full day of work! Today is going to be GREAT! And I feel GREAT! EXTRA EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

You’ll have to trust me when I tell you that this is much better than yesterday when I was contemplating entries for my blog titled, “Can you have a crisis of faith without faith to begin with?” or, “How do you go about finding a therapist?” Let’s just say that I was in a tired/exhausted/dark spot for awhile yesterday. It’s amazing what one good night’s worth of sleep can do for a person. That on TOP of being called a Poopyhead? How could I have NOT woken up in a good mood this morning?

I picked up AndyZ out of bed as he was waking up too. I opened the door to leave the bedroom and enter the rest of the house and then it hit me. The Smell. If you have dogs or cats, you know The Smell. The smell that says, “Someone just shit all over my house.”

And someone had just shit all over my house.

I spent my happy morning cleaning up dog poop out of my dining room carpet. And then steam cleaning the carpet for 30 minutes or so to make sure it was really clean and shampooed. Then I Lysoled it all for good measure. I think I must have pissed off some deity or force of nature. Either that or someone out there has a very sick sense of humor. Someone who thinks it’s funny to great a person who is happy for the first time in days…with a dining room covered in dog crap.

For the record? I did not find that funny. In case you were wondering.

In other Non-Poop Non-Strep news…

DSC_0360

We are now rolling over! And that smile and laugh is enough to bring me back to my happy place!

(Note to my animals at home: This is not a challenge to take me OUT of that happy place again. Please don’t poop on the floor while I’m at work today. ‘K? Thanks.)

The Cuteness Numbs The Olfactory Senses

My favorite expression

It’s a good thing there exist so many adorable photos of my son in this world. They seem to serve as a mood-changer for those days where I’m really sick of getting puked or pooped on. Because this week? So far? I’ve been pooped on twice and spit-up on several times EVERY DAY. Somehow the smell of spit-up on my shoulder is less disgusting when I know it’s a kid that looks like this that did it to me.