Category Archives: Poop

Potty Training Revisited

NikkiZ is essentially potty-trained. (Picture me now banging on every wooden surface within reach.) She sleeps in a pull-up, but for the most part she pees and poops in the potty. We have our minor accidents periodically, mainly due to her peeing just a little bit in her panties before she remembers, “Shit. That goes in the potty now.” Although, I’m not positive she curses. I suspect it – but she’s never actually done it out loud.

However, because of the several days she spent with diarrhea, she now expect me to wipe her butt ALL THE TIME. I did those few days because I wanted to make sure she got clean, but I’m really not a fan of adding that onto the List Of Things I’m Responsible For permanently. I mean, isn’t the perk of having a potty-trained child that you don’t have to wipe the butt anymore? When I try to encourage her to do it herself she says, “But I can’t get it clean enough!” So, periodically throughout the day I’ll here her scream, “Mom! Come wipe my butt!” And I realize then that there is nothing more glamorous than motherhood. Am I right?

I mean, the other day I had to wash clothes covered in poop from ALL THREE OF MY KIDS. Shouldn’t there be a law that says you only have to wash poop-covered clothing for one kid a day? There should be. For the record – LilZ would like me to clarify that he did not poop on his clothes, AndyZ did that for him. AndyZ also pooped on his own clothes that day and NikkiZ pooped enough in her sleep that it escaped the pull-up and made it all over her clothes and bedding. It was like a Hat Trick of poopy laundry. I WON!

So – we’re potty trained. But I’m still cleaning of poop constantly so the milestone is a little anticlimactic. Either way – I thought you’d like to know.

And yes – I’m aware this is one of the many entries I’ll have to delete one day when NikkiZ becomes a surly teenager. Or, if she’s really surly, I’ll publish it and read it aloud when her first date comes to the house. We’ll see.

This Blog Entry May Have A Laxative Effect

I’ve mentioned that my throat has been sore from either pregnancy drainage or allergies. I went yesterday to get some more cough drops to take to the Botanical Gardens and saw they had Sugar Free varieties. I thought, “Hmmm. That’s a good idea! I’ll grab those.” I mean, I might as well try to avoid excess calories when I can, right?

By the time MrZ came home that afternoon, I was sitting on the couch with a half-empty bag and a pile of wrappers on the table in front of me. However, I had switched back to the old school HALLS with the sugar at that point. I told him, “You know? The Sugar Free ones just don’t seem to work as well.”

He looked at the pile of wrappers on the table and said, “Um. You know those things can give you diarrhea, right?” “What – cough drops?” “Um. Well…the Sugar Free ones.”

I immediately grabbed the bag looking for that small bit of information that would have been useful before I demolished half of the bag. The entire time I was reading through the active/inactive ingredients and dosage recommendations – I was bitching. “Oh, Man. This had better not be true. I’ll be really pissed off if I have to spend the evening in the bathroom because of my damn sore throat.”

I finally made it through all of the important boxed information – seeing no warning about the effects of the cough drops on my digestive system. Just as I was saying, “There isn’t ONE THING here that mentions that possibility,” I caught a small line below the boxes of information. Off to itself.

Excessive dosage could cause a laxative effect.

No WARNING! No big bold letters, no flashing red lights. Just plain white text under all of the information one might actually read. I was so pissed! I mean – isn’t the point of a cough drop to be taken excessively? Don’t we all suck on those things all day? WHY MAKE POOP-INDUCING VARIETIES? BAH.

LUCKILY – I was fine. I have a tough digestive system that seemed to weather the “Excessive Dosage” without causing me any more time in the bathroom than my pregnant bladder already gives me. BUT STILL. I think that most of us would find that information a little more important than they indicated with their small white text. That warning should be plastered over the front of the bag in 72pt font. Hell – on EACH WRAPPER. That way – you know for damn sure before you spend all day popping them – that pooping may follow.

So – my public service is to let you know. Sugar Free cough drops may cause a laxative effect. DO NOT FORGET THAT.

Amen.

I guess I’m easy to please

If you had been outside my house around lunchtime you would have heard a very excited voice screaming, “Ladies and Gentlemen…we have SOLID POOPY!” at the top of her lungs. If you had been spying on me, you would have seen me doing a little dance with my daughter in my arms singing, “We have solid poopy! We have solid poopy!” and shaking my hips as though we were part of a Conga line moving through my living room.

(sidenote: Why does Firefox think “Poopy” is not a word. It is a word, isn’t it?)

After celebratory diaper changing, I rushed NikkiZ to daycare and am currently trying to cram in as much work as possible in an attempt to catch up for the THIRD time this week. I’m guessing by the close of work tomorrow I’ll officially be “caught up” – probably just in time for me to catch this fantastic stomach bug.

When I called MrZ to tell him, “NikkiZ pooped a solid poop! All is right with the world! We can be happy again!” he justifiably responded, “Man. She’s got it easy if all she has to do is produce solid waste to win you over.”

DUDE. She’s so TINY.

SO TINY.

Since I switched to WordPress (don’t forget to resubscribe in bloglines using misszoot.com, not www.misszoot.com) I’ve noticed a neat thing on the “compose” page that shows you all of your draft entries not yet published. I pulled on of the untitled ones up today and found this picture in it. EEK. I have no idea what I was going to write on that entry since it was just the picture, but probably something along the lines of: She’s so tiny! Look at her!

If I could talk to myself that day, the day I was going to write about this picture, I would tell myself to savor every moment because “Before you know it, a year will be gone and you’ll miss that tiny baby.”

I probably would also warn her of the horrid of the solid-food-poops to come. I might have even encouraged myself to never introduce the baby to solid foods so as to avoid the nasty poops the future would hold. No one prepared me for the poops to come. They are bad. Oh so bad.

Because I’m the one pooping in the house?

(Sidenote: Does anyone read titles to blog entries? And when you read this one did you stop and wonder what this entry was going to be about? Because I’m curious who you thought might be pooping in the house?)

We’ve all commiserated before about how we take very innocent things our partners say or do and blow it up into some big argument about how tired we are…and over-worked…and under-appreciated and Would it kill you to bring me flowers sometimes? Just because they washed the dishes.

Well, last night I took it to new territory.

MrZ: It smells like poop in here. (He was standing right next to the litter box)
Me: I just changed the kitty litter! Jeezus, I’m doing my best around here, if you have complaints why don’t you do it yourself! I can’t do it all!
MrZ: I meant that one of the cats was actually pooping at that moment…no one can keep that from smelling like poop. Even you.
Me: What does that mean? Are you saying I don’t do a good job keeping this house clean? Are you saying we live in filth? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?
MrZ: Yes. You are a filthy fat good-for-nothing slob. Make me dinner, bitch.
Me: *sob*
MrZ: I need to learn when is a good time for sarcasm and when is a bad time.