I did a post the other day listing the things I’ve learned in general, but I learned some interesting things today. Did you know that the men’s colognes in department stores are in the Men’s Department? I did not know that. I spent many minutes looking around the women’s fragrance/cosmetics for men’s colognes. I finally gave up and LilZ suggested that, “Maybe they’re in the Men’s Department?”

Huh? What kind of sense does that make?

A lot of sense, moron.

We went to the men’s department and wouldn’t you know it?! There were two huge counters full of colognes. Of course, this is also how I learned that department store colognes are very expensive. So we bought nothing. $80 for a bottle of cologne? REALLY? I don’t spend that much on every cosmetic I use for makeup/hair/skin TOTAL. Why would I spend that on one bottle that holds no more than 5 ounces of cologne.

And did you know men’s cologne is associated with “seasons”? I asked a lady about one I had seen at TJMaxx and evidently it was at TJMaxx because it’s from last season. Huh? As in…winter? I’m so confused. Does cologne go out of style? Is it a big No-No to wear cologne from last year? Does anyone actually recognize scents from last year? And then look down at people wearing them? If those people exist, I don’t want to hang out with them. I’m betting they would frown on my use of last year’s Suave deodorant.

There is a salon near where I work that has hardly any windows. I drove by it every day and wondered if it was one of those uber-exclusive spas or if it was a cover for some sort of spy network. Then, one day, they had a sign saying, “Moving Next Door To Fresh Market.” That didn’t sound very covert.

The next thing I knew, Artisans (which I kept pronouncing “Artisians”) was opening up next to Fresh Market. And they had windows! They were an Aveda salon, which means I actually am familiar with some of their products/services since the only spas I’ve ever gone to were Aveda spas. I went in this weekend to buy some gifts and found myself making an appointment for a Damage Remedy Hair and Scalp Renewal session. I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. It’s like they hypnotized me with fancy words like “hair” and “curls” and “pretty”.

I went to the appointment this morning, and it was amazing. They treated my scalp (I have Seborrheic Dermatitis which means my scalp is always irritated) and they infused my hair (Seriously. They used the word infused.) with some sort of massive conditioning treatment. OMG. My hair has never felt so good. I have no idea how long this will last, but I feel like I just traded my scalp and hair in for a much newer and younger model of the same thing. My curls are strong and soft and my scalp feels smooth normal. Seriously. I am so glad I did it. Even if tomorrow my hair starts feeling like a Brillo pad and my scalp starts itching, I’m still thrilled that for at least one day, my hair is soft and my scalp feels normal.

I’ll try to remember to take pictures tonight to show you. I’m that happy with it. I may actually photograph myself. And let me tell you - I’ve been feeling so hideous lately - that says a LOT.

It is well documented how scared I was to have a daughter. I’ve just always felt inept at all things girly. I don’t know how to apply makeup, wear high heels, or shape my eyebrows. I like to blame this on being raised by my Dad who cared nothing about the tweeze v/s wax debate. But in reality? It’s just not my thing. And I was afraid to raise a daughter who might want that to be her thing and who would be desperate for guidance from someone and I’d only be able to say, “I think I read somewhere once that blue eye shadow is in.”

But then - I had a daughter - and I discovered the joys of little girls clothing. OH MY GOD. There are so many adorable things to buy it’s unbelievable. Way more fun to shop for her than LilZ, that’s for damn sure. And you have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to buy us matching clothing. Of course, we don’t really have the money to go crazy, but I am becoming quite good at heading for the clearance racks at all stores. I don’t even look at the regular priced items anymore. If there’s nothing for us on clearance, I shield my eyes and walk away. Check out what I found on clearance at Old Navy this weekend — the most awesome thing a child of the 80s could ever dream of buying her daughter:

Jellies. Jellies!. For $3.49. How awesome is that? Now, if only I could find some leg-warmers and black lace gloves in her size. Her wardrobe could then be complete.

LilZ was telling us about how in one class this week they were taking samples of things and seeing if they had bacteria on them. He said they decided to use one girl’s hair because she admitted to not having washed it in two days. I asked proudly, “Did you tell them I haven’t washed my hair since June of 2003?”

Needless to say - he did not tell them that.

Many of you have asked about that when I make a reference to my stance against shampoo. Probably because most of you have normal hair (like my husband) and one day without shampoo would turn your hair into an oil slick. But you have to understand - at no point in my life has my hair ever been oily. EVER. Exactly opposite - if I ever went more than one day without putting conditioner in my hair - it became so brittle it would break in my hands. I had severe issues with dry hair.

Then, during the summer of 2003 when my hair was at it’s longest, I bought a book about curly hair. I think it was this one but I can’t be sure. I was in the process of prepping for my wedding that October and was trying to come up with good things to do with my hair. It gave the structural makeup of curly hair and explained how some people do best to give up shampoo forever. Since I had always fought with having brittle hair - I decided to give it a try. I’ve never looked back.

Essentially - I do what you would do with shampoo - but I do it with conditioner. There are no harsh soaps to strip my hair of what little moisture it has, but it still gets clean. You would have to trust me on that, I guess. Or my husband, he can vouch for it. And my hair has never been healthier. My curls are much less influenced by the weather, giving me less days of complete frizz and more consistent days of awesome hair. Now - it’s not for everyone - because some people with curly hair have oily scalps. I don’t have that problem. My scalp is as dry as my hair.

I will admit, however, that when I get my hair trimmed every six months, I let them shampoo it. Mainly because I’m a little embarrassed to ask them not to. The idea that I don’t use shampoo tends to gross some people out. So, I suck it up two or three times a year and let them shampoo my hair. Other than that? I never even touch the stuff. I use loads of whatever “Dry Hair” conditioner is on sale that week at Target and I style with Suave mousse. Dove is my favorite, but a little pricey when it’s not on sale. I use so much I prefer to go cheap. Cheap conditioner. Cheap mousse. And no shampoo. And truthfully? I love my hair. I never loved it before - but now? I do. It tortured me from 7th grade (when it started really getting curly) on - but once I got used to not using shampoo? It became a head of hair I truly love.

Now - how many of you are really grossed out? You can be honest - I won’t cry. Much.

Back during the heather v/s jon croc debate, I stayed fairly neutral. I personally thought they were ugly for me - but I understood the attraction to some. LilZ loved them, of course. And wore them for about five minutes until his foot grew out of them. (Note to self: Never Assume His Feet Can’t Get Bigger.) MrZ couldn’t get over the ugly factor, but swears by the comfy factor as he wears the flip-flop Crocs everyday during the summer. And my husband has damn picky feet. These are the first sandals he could wear without bitching incessantly about how little support they provide.

I could also never get past the ugly. Until Weaker Vessel posted the adorable Mary Janes. Now, I couldn’t justify buying them for myself just yet. But - I saw the baby version of the same Mary Jane Crocs in the children’s shoe department and I had to have them. It was a tax-free weekend and they were on sale, so I don’t feel too ridiculous. And look! SO FREAKIN’ ADORABLE.

I’m still not taking sides, but let’s just say there is a small part of me hoping my big-toe toenails fall off the summer so I have an excuse to buy a summer shoe that would hide my toes. (And yes, they will fall off, I’m just not sure when. They are close enough now that I vomit a little if anything touches them.) I’m now siding on the Mary Jane side of the croc debate. What about you? Do they seem any less hideous to you? Or do you still hate them with the force of a thousand sugar-high toddlers?