When I asked MrZ if he wanted to camp with us on Friday he said, “Well, it’s the last weekend before the baby gets here and I need to finish the house.” I love how he felt the need to point out that it’s the last weekend - LIKE I AM NOT AWARE.
MrZ has had one thing on his To Do list: Paint The House. He is almost done with the blue, will finish this weekend if the weather holds up for him. My list, on the other hand, is contains everything else. I’ve been washing baby clothes and bassinet bedding. I’ve been buying supplies (I forgot how small newborn diapers are!) and washing all of NikkiZ’s old items. I’ve tried to hunt down another diaper bag like the one we have for NikkiZ - but they don’t make it anymore. (I’ll rant about that later.) I’ve been scrubbing the house and washing the sheets. And there’s still SO MUCH more to do.
And for some reason? I feel the need to TELL EVERY LITTLE THING to my husband. It’s like I’m afraid that he’s sitting there thinking, “I’ve got to paint the house and what the hell is my fat lazy wife doing the whole time?” Which - he would never think. (At least he’d better not.) But for some reason? I act like he’s thinking it every second of every day and I find myself listing out ever little mundane thing I’ve done to prepare for AndyZ’s arrival. And if I plan something like a night camping - (I’m keeping my fingers crossed it will work out) - then I feel like I have to explain that. “I just want to have some quality time with the two other kids before AndyZ invades our lives.”
WHY DO I DO THIS? My husband has never made me feel like I should be doing more, so why do I act like he’s keeping some sort of tally in his head of the amount of time we each spend working…just to make sure I’m doing my share. I don’t even think he would care if I simply sat on my ass all day eating bon bons.
(Hey…that’s a good idea…)
Yet still - I feel like I must prove myself to him every day. Because I am certifiable and he is a saint for either (a) putting up with it or (b) ignoring it. Either way - good for him. One of us needs to be mentally stable when this kid gets here.







