So, one of the stresses about having kids ranging such ages as mine (18 months to 14) is that they need you during different times of day. The overlap is minimal, and sometimes this can severely cramp your Sleep Time. For example, I had to pick up LilZ last night at midnight at a party. I came home and didn’t wind down enough to go to sleep until after 1am. FOUR HOURS LATER…AndyZ wakes up. For the day. Wanting his mother to feed him and change him and generally care for him. This was below the amount of sleep I can function on properly for an entire day, for the record.

When MrZ woke up around 9:30 or so, I immediately passed the baton to him. I knew I needed a nap or I was going to have an emotional breakdown (I’ve not been sleeping well anyway) and tried to decide the optimal napping situation for myself. See…I am a light sleeper. Napping in my room in our small-ish house is not very effective. I hear every cry, every kitchen quest, every phone call. Also – our bedroom sometimes is a high-traffic area. If MrZ needs anything from our bathroom, I get interrupted. From the closet? I wake up.

I was faced with the dilemma…where do you go to sleep if you really need a good power nap. You need maximum sleeping done in minimum clock time. Well…I’ll tell you where I went. TO MY VAN. I reclined the back seats, brought out a blanket (it’s a little chilly this time of year) and set up a pillow. And I napped. VERY WELL. For almost 90 minutes. I only woke up because I had to pee and the one thing my minivan doesn’t have, is a bathroom. Once I came inside I couldn’t really go back out. But you know what? I didn’t need to. I slept beautifully for those 90 minutes. It was the most peaceful nap I’ve ever had.

I keep telling my husband it was the MOST GENIUS IDEA EVER. He thinks I’m just insane for even considering it, much less actually doing it. Which tells me he has never known exhaustion and parenting in the treacherous combinations I have known…or else he would truly understand the value of a quiet napping place. Either that? Or I am honestly insane. But even if I am? I am insane – AND WELL-RESTED.

You know what bugs me? I mean, really irks me? That tone. That tone that says, “You are annoying me right now with your stupidity.” Sometimes it has been given to me from tech support and other times from a waitress at a restaurant. Everyone is capable of using the tone and every time I hear it I go from being a calm and submissive polite woman to a pissed off and emotional warrior. I’ll express my anger in completely illogical ways – always leaving the person confused and writing me off as insane.

True Story:

I was talking to a customer service person on the phone today regarding a duplicate charge on a credit card. All I wanted was confirmation that the charge was duplicated. But from the moment she started asking me for the security information to confirm I could be given information on the account she gave me the tone. The tone that had an audible eyeroll and annoyed sigh. She didn’t even get 2 questions out before I said, “Wow. You sound really angry already. I haven’t even asked my question yet.” Well, that was a big mistake. She just got more rude from there and started interrupting me. So – what did I do? I yelled at her again, “You’re being mean!” and I did the most awesome thing ever…I cried.

The End.

Please tell me you’ve done something similar. That when faced with rude behavior you find yourself unable to ignore it and unable to confront it successfully. Instead your emotions take over and you are written off as The Crazy Person that the culprit will later tell their friends about. Please tell me I’m not alone.

Anyone?

Why haven’t I written?

Excuse #1 LilZ gave me a mix CD for Mother’s Day. I thought that putting a set list up of that CD along with the hysterical thing that was his final recorded track of his own voice would be a GREAT entry. Only I’d needed him to give me the playlist because – while I love the CD – I’ve never heard of any of the songs and/or musicians before. So, I was waiting for him to give me the playlist before I could write that entry. And he has still not given me a playlist. Because he’s a lazy bum of a teenager.

Excuse #2 I have had a logo designed for some business cards! I want to show you the logo and tell you the story of why I got the logo and what I plan to do with it and the philosophy behind it all except that an entry like that requires some heart to compose. Some heart and the time and ability to dig up some links to coincide with this new philosophy because there are people who have written about it much better than I could. Have I had time to do all of that? No. So do I simply tease you with the potential of an entry? Yes.

Excuse #3 AndyZ is walking. WALKING. And I totally want to take some video and show you but I haven’t charged the camera and keep forgetting and wait…do I even know where the camera is? I don’t think I do. So, instead of blaming it on the uncharged batteries, let’s blame it on the missing camera. Yeah. That’s it. Did I mention my baby is walking? Shoot me now.

Excuse #4 I wanted to tell you about how I cried during Hannah Montana because she sings a song about how awesome her Dad is for raising her alone and TOTALLY not what I needed to hear. And my daughter thought that me crying during the Hannah Montana movie was very disturbing. But I haven’t wanted to sit down and tell you about how embarrassing it is to sob during a Disney movie until I could get the lyrics to that DAMN SONG to prove to you how dreadful it is to hear so soon after losing the father who RAISED ME ALONE. I never wrote him a song! (To which he is thankful, even from the grave.)

Excuse #5 I’m lazy. The end.

I’m sitting inside the Huntsville airport right now, waiting to hop a plain to Cincinnati. Where I’ll then hop another plane to Chicago. I’ll come back tomorrow, so I was faced with the option of not checking any baggage. I can pack for one night in a carry-on EASY. Right? No problem.

Except that I don’t travel often and don’t know exactly some of the protocols. I knew there were rules about carrying on liquids and I had hair products to pack. I looked online to check the information and let me just make one thing clear: The amount of conditioner I’d be limited to in a carry-on? Is the exact amount I would use on ONE STRAND OF HAIR. Do you know how much conditioner I use? A LOT MORE THAN 3 OUNCES.

That was dilemma number 1. But number 2 was this: What Is Mousse? While it is in the can – it is a liquid. But when you squirt it out, it is a…foam? What is a foam? And if the airline still classified it as a liquid…how would I get it to the proper size container? Once mousse comes out of the container, IT MUST BE USED. Seriously…how does one deal with the big MOUSSE question when carrying on luggage? And why is there not a huge sign about THAT when you walk in the airport? Plenty of information about nailclippers, lotions, medicines but NOTHING about mousse. MOUSSE IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN MEDICATION.

Jeez. You’d think I was the only one still stuck in the 80s and using mousse.

I’d assume mousse would count as an “aerosol” and could be transported in a clear quart-sized bag. But my mousse – if it is in fact an aerosol – would not FIT in that size of bag. My mousse only costs $1.29, what’s the point in making travel sizes? BAH. My hair complicates my life AGAIN. Like that time I lost my pen in it. Or the time it got stuck in a round brush. THIS HAIR IS MORE TROUBLE THAN IT IS WORTH.

So – I checked a bag. I didn’t want to waste my few hours in Chicago hunting down conditioner and mousse. I brought my little backpack to the check luggage counter and dealt with the question of, “Are you sure? It’s small enough to carry on,” by saying, “Yes. I’m sure. Until modern science can find a way for me to transfer my mousse to a smaller container while still allowing it to maintain the mousse-y quality, I’ll have to check my luggage.”

I have no idea why she looked at me weird after that.

MrZ and I have entered that portion of the year where we spend our days coming in behind the other one to adjust the thermostat. He likes it warmer than I do. So, I lower the thermostat setting and he turns it up. And in between we argue with each other about how the other one should QUIT DOING THAT ALREADY. It’s like a really boring comedy routine.

I just do NOT like to be hot. And because I tend to dress warmer in the winter than he does, I get really hot in my sweaters and blue jeans inside the house. And that bugs me to death. I do NOT like walking around sweaty in my own home. The same goes for the summer time, where – if I didn’t have any concern for energy conservation – I’d leave the thermostat on 60 from May thru August. But – I do try to be a little conscious of the planet and the conservation of resources.

A little bit.

The weird thing about this part of my personality? The irritation with my house being too warm? Is that I’m just the opposite with my outdoor environment. If I didn’t love Huntsville so much, I’d move some place even warmer. I hate the winter with every ounce of my soul. And winter here? Is nothing compared to what some of you suffer through. We don’t even get snow anymore. Most of us don’t even own real winter coats. It just does not get cold enough to invest in that kind of outerwear. But for me? Still too cold. And I love the summer time. I love going to the Botanical Gardens and being outdoors even in the dead heat of the summer. Doesn’t really phase me.

As long as my car and my home are air-conditioned.

How weird is that? Inside? I prefer the cold. But outside? I prefer the hot.

It is official. I’m insane. In case the jury was still out on that one. Which I don’t think it was.

So – what about you? Does your indoor comfort level equal your outdoor comfort level? Or are you weird like me?