My friend’s daughters stayed with me last night and I swear to you…at one point in time? I forgot they were here! That either says a lot about their silence while they hung out watching TV in LilZ’s room, or it says even more about how I am a complete moron. I actually opened the door to LilZ’s room and did a double take when I saw the kids in there. Like, Wait. What? Why are they here again? I had probably picked them up an hour earlier and we spent 20 minutes playing in the front yard. It’s not like I grabbed them and dumped them in LilZ’s room and didn’t look at them afterwards. We made daisy chains (with weeds) and ate popsicles.

In other words? The results are in: I’m a complete moron.

I’ll never stop pointing out how pregnancy makes me so much more of an idiot that I am on a normal day. I mean - I have my share of brain farts whether I’m gestating or not - but when I’m pregnant? It seems very easy for my brain to simply shut down. Which is kinda scary when you have human lives depending on you.

(Note to Stace: I promise your kids were still safe! LilZ and MrZ were still home so no worries! They would have covered my ass if I had done something stupid like set fire to the house!)

We’re less than two weeks away from Baby Time. My brain will have no choice but to reactivate at that point. And if it doesn’t? My permanent tagline on this site will be, “Come for the donuts, stay to read about the stupid shit I did today.”

Once Upon a Time…I went to the OB for my weekly cervix check and he diagnosed me as having a double ear infection.

Can you do the math on that one? I mean, I’m not doctor but…

(Hee.)

But seriously! I told him my ears were hurting because I was there and he had the Rx pad in his pocket and I figured if he could, he would just prescribe me an antibiotic and I’d be on my way and NOT have to wait at the doc-in-the-box down the road for three hours to get the SAME prescription. If they’d even give me one without making me call my OB first.

Luckily - I was right. He had no problem giving me the antibiotic. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the right tools on hand at first to check my throat or my ears since he is an OB, who rarely has to look into throats OR ears. So, he first told me to, “Open up and say, ‘ahhhh’” as he used the LIGHT THEY SHINE BETWEEN YOUR LEGS to look into my throat.

Please tell me that’s as hysterical to everyone else as it is to me! Now - it wasn’t unsafe or anything, he was plenty far back and it didn’t even seem gross. I’m just saying, it was weird. He was taking the light he usually aims between a woman’s legs and SHINING IT IN MY FACE. It took every bit of will power I could must not to crack up laughing.

It is just me, isn’t it?

There are several “crafty” type things we’ve been wanting to finish the last few weeks. Unfortunately, with so little ass-sitting time, we’re not making much progress. Of course, there’s more than just the time limits holding me back.

My crafty skills are limited to painting things with stencils or using stamps on paper. I don’t have a lot of natural skills, in other words. Two of the projects I’m working on are the tops of the two stools in this picture. I started out trying a bit of free-hand and have since repainted the tops of the stools SEVERAL TIMES. Which is the main reason the projects are so delayed. I thought I’d try to actually be ARTSY. I’ve learned my lesson. Back to stencils for me.

NikkiZ loves arts and crafts of any sort. Glue and stamps are her favorite, of course, because they’re INSANELY MESSY. I can removed water-based acrylics with a baby wipe - ink from stamps? Not so much.

But it occurred to me last night. I kinda don’t care. The craft work we did yesterday made a substantial mess on clothes and on the table. Some of it was removed easily, but some was not. And might not be removed at all. And I kinda don’t care.

I don’t know if it’s because I spend so little money on clothes for her, or because we don’t have a lot of nice furniture (we have three dogs and two cats…”nice” furniture is wasted on us) or maybe it’s just because? I’m kinda lazy and would rather just put my daughter in stained clothes from craft night than stress out about how to avoid the stains in the first place. One of the many times I think that my inherent laziness regarding might actually work to my kids’ advantage.

I love it when that happens.

Brother? Wanna get in with me? I’m too cute for you to say “No!”

How about if I just get my feet wet? Is that good enough?

No! You have to get IN! I’m going to GET YOU!

Fine. I can’t say “No” to you anyway.

Just for the record? I ended up in the pool fully clothed as well. Thank all that is holy that I had to get OUT to take the pictures because my giant pregnant ass in wet clothes in a baby pool might possibly be the scariest thing my kids have seen in a LONG TIME.

But it was worth it. All for this face.